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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML


I agree, your life sucks (10761) - you deserved it (28543)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by rebel_rose (woman) - United States (Iowa)

rebel_rose's comment about their FML

My problem is I try to speak in Russian as I do in English, so some phrases that don't quite translate sound stupid anyways . . so here, I guess I just sounded twice as stupid . . .reason this is an FML is the Japanese guy I like is in this class, and they don't talk that way . . .he wouldn't have known what I said or my mistake, if the teacher hadn't gotten shocked and translated it into English AND Japanese FML lol

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Today, an injured guest stopped at the front desk of the hotel and raved about my kindness and 'commitment to customer service'. He told my boss about how I'd gone to the ice machine and personally delivered a bag of ice for his injured knee. Guess who got written up for leaving the front desk? FML


I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (2163)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:01pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

dragonlady1406's comment about their FML

For the record I work Night Audit, it was 5:50am. The poor man requested a 6:45am wake up call so he could attend his conference. There was no one else available to help the guest. During training two months ago I'd been told 'Customer Service' was 'everything'. Strangely I thought I was doing the right thing. Especially considering one of my official duties is to leave the desk to deliver folio's (bill's) to be placed under the doors of departing guests. As for the 'grammar police' I said 'a injured guest' rather than 'an injured guest' to indicate an individual person, rather than imply I had multiple injured people staying at the hotel were I work.

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Today, my plates on my car were stolen. On the way to the police station to file a police report I was pulled over. They impounded my car for driving without a license plate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (7542)

On 09/23/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

ns0's comment about their FML

Here's the whole story;

I got up one morning for work, went to my car, plates were stolen (just the back). I called the police in SLC, UT (801)-799-3000 (non-emergency). The dispatcher took my information and told me she'd mark the plates as stolen but i'd need to file a report to get a replacement plates from the DMV (the DMV doesn't allow you to get duplicates unless you file a police report for lost/stolen plates so you cant have multiple cars and multiple tags).

The dispatcher told me a police officer could meet me there in an hour however i was already late for work and the police department is about 9 blocks away from my place so i (YDI, i know) decided I would drive down there really quickly and file a report. WITH a police report cops won't impound your car. Without the police report, they do -- and i've come to learn don't give a crap about your story. I was literally 3 blocks away from the police station when it happened.

When I went in and filed a police report (after having to walk the remaining 3 blocks) the police officer told me that I can fight the impound by fighting the charge, and since I now have a valid police report they will refund the impound fee. BTW i got pulled over on my way to the DMV with the police report after I got my car out of the impound and the police officer happily let me go.

Lesson learned, just wait for the cop, but I was in a hurry and late for work.

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Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by buysavings (man) - United States (Illinois)

zz4htt90p's comment about their FML

Well, if I had a house, I would have stored it all, but I used my inheritance to go to college. I was 19 and they offered to store it.

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Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

BeHarsh27's comment about their FML

OP here.

I've been on 3 different depression meds before this. The first didnt do hardly anything, the second made me really moody and pretty much angry constantly no matter the situation, and the last seemed to help some, but not all that much.

I had a sleep study not long ago and actually got some concrete results from it. I can fall asleep in minutes (normal is like 15 to 20 I think) and I get to REM sleep in less than 15 minutes (again, normal is like ~1 hour). So its not a problem with me not getting to sleep for the one suggesting pot, lol. As of now I'm taking Ritalin, the second recommended drug for hypersomnia. The "suggested" medication is Provigil, but its way too expensive for me to afford even with insurance.

The times I tried to go to school was for music performance. I did progressively "better" each time I went, being better prepared each time, but that still didnt keep me from sleeping too late, missing classes, and subsequently getting so far behind that it seemed useless to go anyway. I'm currently looking into game design schools (level design specifically, not programming/animation) as I got a little burned out on the music thing.

Thanks for the feedback, its good to know theres others out there dealing with the same thing I am.

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Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13244) - you deserved it (46463)

On 09/19/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

adamas117's comment about their FML

OP here. it was late when i sent the text, and wasnt really focusing on what i was doing. because the text was about my date, i was thinking about her, and subconciously went to her name instead of my friend's. its all good though. i explained the situation to her, and she understood.

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Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43152) - you deserved it (2937)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by oh_its_true (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

oh_its_true's comment about their FML

To those who think she made it up to get out of the date...i initially thought the same thing too.

so i said "listen, you dont have to make up some crappy story like you are on Jerry Springer. I am old enough to be told the truth." So then she started crying. Loudly. Which made everyone look at me like I was some jerk for making her cry. She then tells me its all true and she doesnt know what to do.

I tell her maybe jail will straighten her man out and get him straight. I got up and walked out, passing the waitress who was on her way to our table with our drinks (to be fair, she ordered a coke)...i tossed around $40 on the tray and hit the door running. i later remembered that i left my gloves on the table...

that is a totaly true story.

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Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (9814)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by calamityjosie (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

calamityjosie's comment about their FML

Yeah, fair enough, OR

1). If I didn't run after the parcel it would have been sent back to the depot (in Bristol!) And would have gone back to America after 1day there! I would have had to pay extortionate posting for it to come back again!

2). Was being picked up at 8 - so yes I absolutely did have to have a shower!

3). If you'd been waiting all day getting restless would you not panic, given that you wouldn't expect out of a 13 hour slot - the parcel comes during the three minute shower you need?!

And yes, it is my own stupidity - that's why it's funny, that I clearly have absolutely no common sense...hence the FML!

To be honest I'd join FML too if all I had time to do with my day was leave criticisms on other people's jokes.

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Today, at my work at a designer clothing store, we received a list of photos from the police of known shoplifters. My coworkers were looking at the list saying "Eugh, look at that one: you'd shoplift with a face like that". I walked over and saw that they were looking at a photo of my boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (5740)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:29am - work - by ellibits (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

ellibits's comment about their FML

Hi, I am the original poster, and I don't think he's ugly; just his mugshot isn't exactly flattering.
But whose is?!
Apparently he used to steal a long time ago to overcompensate being secretly gay.
Whatever, he's no longer my problem.

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Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (4196)

On 09/16/2009 at 5:28pm - health - by megs2129 (woman) - United States (New York)

megs2129's comment about their FML

It was an expreimental treatment for Endometriosis. And it wasn't only the taste that was bad, it was how it made me feel. There were multiple portions of it, and some sizzled as they went down and stuff like that. The one that made me throw up made me feel like time stopped. I can't explain it, but it was like nothing was right. And it tasted horrible

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Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column for my college paper, and I've tried everything on their menu. They were being closed down today because a large amount of rat droppings was found in their food supplies. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (2900)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by TampaBayJJ - United States (Florida)

TampaBayJJ's comment about their FML

To clear up a few things.
I only took a few bites of each item on the menu, so do not think I am a glutton.
I never said I write for a college in the united states or even a english speaking college.
I apologize for my poor writing, English is my third language and I am still trying to learn.
The restaurant was very clean and the food looked I don't know how I could of avoided this situation.
@ #55. I didn't steal anyone's post, unless you think that a bad restaurant experiences has only happened to one person in the whole entirety of the world...

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Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47431) - you deserved it (2061)

On 09/14/2009 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

MomsFavorite's comment about their FML

Sorry, the limits on number of characters made my description a bit light on details.

Dad was killed in a car accident and the insurance co of the driver of the vehicle who hit him paid out a settlement. The amount is really none of your business, but the principal plus returns between settlement and when I started to draw it was enough to cover tuition only for 4+ years. Money was placed in trust for each of us- all of us with mom as custodian, as we were minors.

At that time, unless the minor changes/removes the custodian when they turn the age of majority, the custodian remains indefinetly.

Mom cashes in fund and when I come home for christmas break to get the portion of the money for second semester tuition, says she used the money on a vacation for herself and my loser stepdad. Later I found out she invested it, made a killing and kept it all. She didn't want to put HER money on the line- in case the investment didn't work out. I even got to pay taxes on the capital gains!!

I continued attending college until my SAVINGS was gone and LOANS I qualified for didn't cover expenses (mom was loaded from her part of the settlement and life insurance so I didn't qualify for much) I dropped out.

DECADES later, I overhear her telling someone in our family that my youngest sister is the only one who used the money wisely from the settlement. Apparently, she has been telling everyone that I pissed my part of it away.

Hope that clarifies. I guess having a college education would have given me the skills to change the second "she" to "mom".

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Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

ITSALLDAVESFAULT's comment about their FML

Hey! This is a true story people. She got wedged in a ramp comming out of a McDonalds in winter. She slipped, and fell where it was a concrete walled-in ramp. the walls were just tall enough to make it hard. She also had some sort of braces on her, she couldn't be rolled to one side or the other, no room to even squeeze in beside her. We actually had a LPN come along who knew how to properly lift someone heavy, and by herself.......I was only trying to help a sister out.....and she was not commando thank god!
For all you who are interested in my afterlife status.....I don't believe in god, and it WAS an accident. I just figure I might be wrong, and no-one is suposed to have seen what I saw....that's all I'm saying people.

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