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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

#2206248
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38536) - you deserved it (26710)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:14am - work - by kandykrazed17 (woman) - United States (New York)

kandykrazed17's comment about their FML

lol first of all i work at a WAMU where our name tags give our full name so no lies there. secondly, this guy was twice my age. i was not being bitchy at all. he said hi and then i smiled and said hi back. it's one thing when you greet someone. it's another when you keep following them asking personal questions. i didn't give a fake name on purpose. it was just a natural reaction. lol but yea i guess it wasn't smart to walk out with my name tag still on. o and btw not to be rude but i took AP english so i'm pretty sure i know how to use “proceeded” in a sentence correctly. it's not my fault if other ppl don't or overuse it.

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Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

#2191115
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (45712)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm - misc - by erin3809483 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

erin3809483's comment about their FML

umm a deadbolt on my closet because i'm home from college and my sister steals all of my clothes. also, its not a deadbolt but like one of those doorknobs that have a key lock and when you install a new doorknob there is the piece that clicks into the wall when it shuts. I installed it backwards to decided to check and make sure it was right the 2nd time and it clicked therefore, i was locked in the closet because you install the knob after that.

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Today, after a long night of cramming for an extensive Anatomy final (detailed diagrams included), I check the senior final schedule to find that Anatomy is not till tomorrow, but I take Calculus in 10 minutes. This is followed by an e-mail from my teacher saying I can exempt Anatomy. FML

#2108783
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47610) - you deserved it (14785)

On 05/20/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by spilum_endalaust (woman) - United States (Texas)

spilum_endalaust's comment about their FML

Hey, I did check my final schedule, I just happened to switch the time and day for Calculus and Anatomy. My fault definitely, but still not fun when you realize you're going to be late for an exam you didn't study for.

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Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

#1980340
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (3086)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by bclark (man) - United States (North Carolina)

bclark's comment about their FML

My name is Brett. Inside the envelope was a birthday card....my birthday is not until July.

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Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

#1949417
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (3229)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by alicemassie (woman) - United States (New York)

alicemassie's comment about their FML

Okay, (it's OP) I need to make a couple of clarifications.

I didn't include this part because there wasn't enough room in the FML submit thing, but after I told my mom I was referring to my business partner, she told me that she thinks I'm a lesbian not because of her fantastic maternal intuition, but because she thinks my husband is too much of an "ass bitch" for me to actually love him, and because I'm athletic.

I wanted her to meet my business partner because my parents are involved in my business

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Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

#1931106
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70030) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)

ClaireB9's comment about their FML

Hey all - I'm the OP.
To answer the most commonly asked question: the trick to keeping cookies fresh for a week is to add an extra tablespoon of vegetable oil to the dough, putting a piece of bread in with them and putting them in the smallest ziploc possible.

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Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

#1908425
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (44497)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm - money - by director416 - United States (Pennsylvania)

director416's comment about their FML

The gas bill includes another security deposit of 150$ and a turn on fee of 50$. So, it was 300$ that I was past due on and I was doing the budget plan which was about 150$ a month. Only 2 months behind. As for the roommate, it's not her fault she lost her job due to down sizing and she is has been getting money from her parents... we've just used it for food. It's not a matter of whether or not I "deserve" to have my gas shut off. I do. I didn't pay the bill. I agree with that. The FML part of it is that my day was crap and then it got even crappier. Stop preaching and just read the stupid FML so you can say "Hey, at least I'm not that poor bastard." Get over yourselves.

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Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

#1903275
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (24237)

On 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

demonpuppy's comment about their FML

Hey you guys, the OP here! I just wanted to clear some things up. My puppy is very sweet. She has never pulled anyone else while on the leash. She's actually one of the most timid dogs I've ever owned and yes, I have owned dogs before and I know the breed. But because she is a puppy anomaly and doesn't pull, I thought it would be ok for my niece to walk her as I walked next to them. Also, this took place in my fenced off back yard. I do however have a stone terrace, which is where my niece got pulled over on. I know that my niece getting hurt is probably my fault and I've now learned that my puppy goes crazy when there are squirrels in sight.

I've apologized to my sister-in-law. My niece is fine, she was back up and playing within minutes, but her mother wont let her near my puppy and I got a talking to. So, hope that clears some things up for you guys.

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Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

#1901566
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52653) - you deserved it (9298)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by paprgrl421 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

paprgrl421's comment about their FML

He was local, no I didn't respond. I live in a less densely populated area (i.e. small town) so it's very easy to see where he was from. I can even pinpoint his cellular carrier by his area code+***. That's how few places offer cell service in wisconsin

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Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

#1833015
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (3483)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:06am - animals - by progressiveboink (woman) - United States (Texas)

randomoutburst's comment about their FML

(This is my FML, made an account after the submission...)
plethora, orchids run about $20-30 and the cat had eaten ALL of it. Not just the flowers...stem too. So I don't think it's going to grow back. Orchids are delicate. :)

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Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML

#1808336
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45846) - you deserved it (19417)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:10am - health - by kimos (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

kimos's comment about their FML

Yup. This was stupid on my part. It was at my ceramics studio where we apparently now have mice. It's a brown mug that I keep in my work area. I should have thought to clean it before I drank but I didn't. Gross.

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Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

#1771675
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60010) - you deserved it (3924)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)

matt5th35hit's comment about their FML

And by the way... This was not a FAKE experience. It scared the living shit out of me. I admit...I didn't know anything about the ocean or rip "CURRENTS" but now I do. Thank's for the knowledge guys, I've lived at the beach for 4 years and never swam in the ocean because I didn't like swimming in the ocean. Now u see why. There were NO lifeguards...This was at CAROLINA BEACH!! Just outside of Wilmington NC. If you know me, yup..I'm a dumbass for this. It's funny you say that. The water WAS murky and choppy. It ran along side a big ass pile of rocks that stretched out into the ocean. I didn't want to hit the rocks though for fear of injury. Fighting the rip current was a dumbass idea. After I ran out of energy trying to swim I just gave up and floated on my back and the waves helped push me back to shore. I really didn't give a shit about people seeing my dick. Im a sexy beast. haha

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