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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my grandparents were staying over my house for a couple of nights. As I was walking to my bathroom in the middle of the night, I noticed their door was open, and my grandfather was awake. I tried to say 'Hi' to him, but he didn't hear me. I then noticed that he was masturbating. FML

#2421457
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59638) - you deserved it (4956)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by ima_krackerr (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

ima_krackerr's comment about their FML

heyy, this is my post.

1. I didn't notice what he was doing at first, so my first reaction was to say hi.. pretty much
2. I can't look him in the face anymore
3. I'm a girl :(

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thats_not_good's comment about their FML

The tattoo is on my shoulder blade, and it's a Celtic knot that I drew up myself. The artist was filling in the shading in the knot after finishing the outline when he started filling in an area on the wrong side of the line. He ended up fixing it so the design came out symmetrical, and it looks really good. No regrets and no worries.

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Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31708) - you deserved it (55655)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

ITguy1982's comment about their FML

Just got back from the hospital. Needed 8 stitches to close everything back up again. I had to postpone the date. Hopefully she'll be willing to wait a few weeks for me to heal up. I now have to put my sack in a plastic zip lock bag when I take a shower in order to prevent the area from getting wet.

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Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

#2368229
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (12321)

On 05/28/2009 at 6:16am - misc - by Verbex (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Verbex's comment about their FML

**************************************************************************************************************
Just to make things a little a more clear since I couldn't in the FML:

1. I am not the 70+ year old man from the other FML, although I did laugh at the idea cause of the coincidence LOL

2. I was not leaning over the fence, the fence was my height. I was merely holding the branch with my hand to the right lighting for the image I wanted.

3. I agree, I could've asked permission, but since I was on the road side of the fence, and this fence was at the back of their house, I didn't feel like walking all the way back around the corner to find this house after hiking. For all I know, they probably weren't there.

4. The funniest thing is, they did ask to see my camera and the images, and then just acted like nothing happened. But they did scare the shit out of me because I had my iPod headphones in and didn't hear them approach me and call me from their vehicle.

5. Lastly, F*CK THE POLICE! No, I'm just kidding :P They had the right I guess, but man was that embarasing.
**************************************************************************************************************

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Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

#2298967
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (21665)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by way2gosam - United States (Louisiana)

way2gosam's comment about their FML

Okay, I'm finally writing back to all 401 of your comments.

Yes, I am a pregnant teenager- although, I can not see how that has any revelance to my post, pregnancy in teenagers happens quite often and I do not appreciate the judgemental/negative comments being thrown at me. It's pure slander.

Yes, the father and I did have a fallout and I will be raising the baby on my own, with the help and support of my family and friends- not to mention he lives in the northern part of the state that I live in, which happens to be 4-5 hours away, even if he wanted to be here for the arrival of our child(which we are expecting to be a girl), he could not make it here on time. Therefore, my mother is my "go'to man", for lack of better words.
I also notice you all are saying that he wouldn't want to hold my hand or watch the baby being born,
I never said he would be in the delievery room- I simply asked him to keep my company during the scary hours of contractions that were yet to come, until my mother could arrive and take over.
Yes, we had previously discussed it, and he had said that if need-be, he would be there. Unfortunately for me, he was speaking pure lies.

As for the premature labor I did go into, they did stop it, and I am now on bed rest while taking a medicine called "terbutaline" every 4 hours in order to hold her until full term.
(Which is also why I could write my FML, I didn't come home taking care of a baby, I came home on bed rest so I could have my baby at the correct time. I had nothing else to do but write my FML.)

I do understand how confusing and misleading my post was, but keep in mind you only get a certain amount of letters to work with when writing your original FML, and by reading this I'm sure you've noticed that I could not elaborate thouroughly with 300 letters as a maximum.

I do appreciate your opinions, even though I do not agree with all the statements that were made.
Just wanted to explain since there were so many confused people.

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Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and said “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML

#2206248
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38482) - you deserved it (26694)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:14am - work - by kandykrazed17 (woman) - United States (New York)

kandykrazed17's comment about their FML

lol first of all i work at a WAMU where our name tags give our full name so no lies there. secondly, this guy was twice my age. i was not being bitchy at all. he said hi and then i smiled and said hi back. it's one thing when you greet someone. it's another when you keep following them asking personal questions. i didn't give a fake name on purpose. it was just a natural reaction. lol but yea i guess it wasn't smart to walk out with my name tag still on. o and btw not to be rude but i took AP english so i'm pretty sure i know how to use “proceeded” in a sentence correctly. it's not my fault if other ppl don't or overuse it.

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Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

#2191115
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12139) - you deserved it (45659)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm - misc - by erin3809483 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

erin3809483's comment about their FML

umm a deadbolt on my closet because i'm home from college and my sister steals all of my clothes. also, its not a deadbolt but like one of those doorknobs that have a key lock and when you install a new doorknob there is the piece that clicks into the wall when it shuts. I installed it backwards to decided to check and make sure it was right the 2nd time and it clicked therefore, i was locked in the closet because you install the knob after that.

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Today, after a long night of cramming for an extensive Anatomy final (detailed diagrams included), I check the senior final schedule to find that Anatomy is not till tomorrow, but I take Calculus in 10 minutes. This is followed by an e-mail from my teacher saying I can exempt Anatomy. FML

#2108783
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47557) - you deserved it (14780)

On 05/20/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by spilum_endalaust (woman) - United States (Texas)

spilum_endalaust's comment about their FML

Hey, I did check my final schedule, I just happened to switch the time and day for Calculus and Anatomy. My fault definitely, but still not fun when you realize you're going to be late for an exam you didn't study for.

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Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

#1980340
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by bclark (man) - United States (North Carolina)

bclark's comment about their FML

My name is Brett. Inside the envelope was a birthday card....my birthday is not until July.

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Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

#1949417
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46904) - you deserved it (3203)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by alicemassie (woman) - United States (New York)

alicemassie's comment about their FML

Okay, (it's OP) I need to make a couple of clarifications.

I didn't include this part because there wasn't enough room in the FML submit thing, but after I told my mom I was referring to my business partner, she told me that she thinks I'm a lesbian not because of her fantastic maternal intuition, but because she thinks my husband is too much of an "ass bitch" for me to actually love him, and because I'm athletic.

I wanted her to meet my business partner because my parents are involved in my business

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Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML

#1931106
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69928) - you deserved it (5253)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)

ClaireB9's comment about their FML

Hey all - I'm the OP.
To answer the most commonly asked question: the trick to keeping cookies fresh for a week is to add an extra tablespoon of vegetable oil to the dough, putting a piece of bread in with them and putting them in the smallest ziploc possible.

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Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

#1908425
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (44465)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:44pm - money - by director416 - United States (Pennsylvania)

director416's comment about their FML

The gas bill includes another security deposit of 150$ and a turn on fee of 50$. So, it was 300$ that I was past due on and I was doing the budget plan which was about 150$ a month. Only 2 months behind. As for the roommate, it's not her fault she lost her job due to down sizing and she is has been getting money from her parents... we've just used it for food. It's not a matter of whether or not I "deserve" to have my gas shut off. I do. I didn't pay the bill. I agree with that. The FML part of it is that my day was crap and then it got even crappier. Stop preaching and just read the stupid FML so you can say "Hey, at least I'm not that poor bastard." Get over yourselves.

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Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

#1903275
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (24222)

On 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

demonpuppy's comment about their FML

Hey you guys, the OP here! I just wanted to clear some things up. My puppy is very sweet. She has never pulled anyone else while on the leash. She's actually one of the most timid dogs I've ever owned and yes, I have owned dogs before and I know the breed. But because she is a puppy anomaly and doesn't pull, I thought it would be ok for my niece to walk her as I walked next to them. Also, this took place in my fenced off back yard. I do however have a stone terrace, which is where my niece got pulled over on. I know that my niece getting hurt is probably my fault and I've now learned that my puppy goes crazy when there are squirrels in sight.

I've apologized to my sister-in-law. My niece is fine, she was back up and playing within minutes, but her mother wont let her near my puppy and I got a talking to. So, hope that clears some things up for you guys.

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