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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

#6340215
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37531) - you deserved it (2630)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

kaylaclark's comment about their FML

wellll since you all must know I have curtains! But when it is sunny outside why close them? I didn't chat with him long enough to ask what time of day he watches me, but it's creepy at ALL times. And no, I probably won't get raped thankyouverymuch...having a creepy neighbor doesn't mean I'll be sexually assaulted :)

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Today, I started my first day as a security guard. After spending three years and $30,000 to become a commercial pilot, only to be told on my yearly medical that I suddenly have type 1 diabetes, and will never fly again. FML

#6334903
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36746) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:47pm - work - by Grounded (man) - Australia

Yaphukwit's comment about their FML

Op here, Definatly not a fake, as other posters have said, Type 1 is not exclusive to juveniles. I am 24. I had the symptoms for a few weeks (thirst, tiredness, etc.) but was only diagnosed when i went for my comm pilots medical and they detected it there. And instead of college i chose flight training. So as much as i would love to move to the states, finding a job and someone to sponsor me would be difficult.

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Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

#6327317
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (7573)

On 11/16/2009 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

pollychrome's comment about their FML

The rest of the story:
I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor.
I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out.
The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up).
We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore.

It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.

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Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML

#6322485
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25297) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:00am - work - by Yapanesedidwhat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yapanesedidwhat's comment about their FML

All the employees in our store have to 'shop' with our customers. That includes showing them different styles, starting up fitting rooms for them AND offering our opinions WHEN asked to by customers. She tried on an out fit and she asked her husband AND me (since you know.. I do 'work' in a CLOTHING STORE)..for our opinions. Since her husband didn't say anything.. I looked over to see why he was so quiet. Instead of paying attention to his wife.. he was too busy eyeing me like a creep while licking his lips. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what his d--k head was thinking. And what was I doing "IN" the fitting room.. uh have you never seen people WORKING by the fitting rooms? Ever stop to think she came OUT of the fitting room to show her outfit?....jjeeeeezzz people....

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Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML

#6294901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (5407)

On 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm - love - by RedLust (man) - Bolivia (Cochabamba)

RedLust's comment about their FML

First of all I have already left (thanks for the support people), and second of course I discussed with her that that was wrong, and she thought otherwise so I had no other option to give the ultimatum. I f you want to be with me then why do you need your past? And women if you need more romance say something don’t look for it in other places, because if we men need more BJ (Just an example) or whatever you wouldn’t like us to be getting in other place right? Some things are important for some people and other things for others.

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Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

#6271893
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (4977)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by NotEnoughCleaner (woman) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

midgie's comment about their FML

Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her.

I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen.

And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...

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Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

#6263114
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (2139)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:49pm - love - by WhatWentWrong (man) - United States (Florida)

AFunnyUsername's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, this is the person who posted this. No I'm not a creepy stalker, I'm a normal person. Today, the girl who did this asked my best friend on a date. My best friend is pretty popular, so a lot of people manage to follow what he does. After she asked, he only pointed and laughed at her, at which the point where everyone proceeded to turn around and laugh at her as well. I feel better now.

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Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

#6257717
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (3320)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by iluvsu504 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

iluvsu504's comment about their FML

this is the poster, and i hadnt given her the ring yet but she knew i had it, which makes it douche-ier. and yeah im a lesbian, no im not the man in the relationship, im lipstick, and i told that bitch she had lost her fucking mind. and that i would be picking up my hamster next week.

btw. forever and always was not a promise, it was a like inside saying between me and her that we developed as friends. and when youre a college kid who makes less than 300 a month with bills to pay a $120 ring is expensive
so thanks.
but yes i have the ring and the hamster and that bitch is gone!

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Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

#6213583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Dobby123's comment about their FML

For those who don't get it, beside my desk is a table a little bit lower than the desk. When my elbow hit that, it stopped, but my head kept on going and technically my face hit my fist, although my fist also hit my face.
Sorry couldn't put that in the story, we can only write 300 characters, so yeah. I still have no idea how I could've hit my face so hard I got a mark :(

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Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

#6208718
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (2868)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:36am - love - by SkySkyChan (woman) - United States (Florida)

SkySkyChan's comment about their FML

OP Here- I love you people, speculating on people's lives like you know something. This is really old now, but I figured I'd give an update. We got together the following February, and are very happy where we're at now. C: So thanks ya'll for the input, though most of it was unnecessary. I know what love is, do you?

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Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

#6194696
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (6571)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Valedictorian02's comment about their FML

It has to be one of those four, huh? Because you know of four situations so mine has to be one of those four?

I'm OP. I took the scholarship, got a B.A. in Economics with a minor in Computer Science (not quite Basket-Weaving or Art History, sorry), did analysis for a company that recently went under, started working for a start-up until I ran out of money, then took the best job I could find, which happens to involve selling french fries.

By the way, he DID want french fries. And he got them.

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Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money and a few water bottles for my friends and me for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realized my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom moved the car. It still hurts. FML

#6192125
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by SHARIFFO (man) - Palestinian Territory

SHARIFFO's comment about their FML

I Would have wrote more to be more specific but the site doesn't allow that much words.
This is what happened:
"Imagine a car moving in front of the whole school with legs sticking out of the window..."
All My Friends laughed, my mom never knew, she never stopped, i was scared as fuck to speak so i just got half of my body out in time as she drove off. She then stopped the car & realized asap & asked if i was okay. I was like "o.O?!"

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