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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

#4701369
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (5164)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:48am - intimacy - by axsmith01 (woman) - United States (Washington)

axsmith01's comment about their FML

Today, it turns out I am the only bi-sexual woman in the world who doesn't know same-sex marriages in California are no longer legal. Double FML

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Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

#4617194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12047) - you deserved it (46498)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by noballs - United States (Kentucky)

foxtmac218's comment about their FML

this was me and no they were like 17. im 19 and my boss told me it was bad for buisness to have them loitering in our parking lot so i told them to leave. when i said no balls i figured he would walk away. the guy was strong as hell

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Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

#4603791
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52385) - you deserved it (4911)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - work - by Fibericon (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Fibericon's comment about their FML

Wow, didn't expect this many comments. I talked to my boss about it today. The coworker had actually lodged a complaint, but conveniently forgot to mention the whole thing about a lighter that looks like a gun. He doesn't work there anymore.

The main reason I thought I was going to lose my job was that he had worked there for a lot longer than I had. I've been there less than a year. I was worried that he could have said anything he wanted and I'd end up with the shit end of the stick just because I was new.

As for whether or not I over reacted, maybe I could have taken a moment to analyze the situation, but it's not like he was trying to take my wallet or telling me to do anything. He silently pointed a "gun" at me. The last time I spoke to him I had said to him was that his English sucked and he shouldn't be teaching (I work at an ESL institute). The next time I saw him, gun in the face. I asked a cop friend from the states about it, he said if someone pointed that at him they'd get shot.

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Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

#4597948
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (16671)

On 08/17/2009 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

SoonFired's comment about their FML

Wow, my first FML post. It's actually a government organization, dating is prohibited because of "Conflict of Interest." We are close to the same size physically. We both wear the middle of road medium size. In all reality, its our last names on the shirt, but it still sucks.

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Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56411) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

ryan_j009's comment about their FML

ok everyone, im the OP, hear me out.

1. "..i've been treating her extremely well.." the reason why I said that was not because I'm a jackass, it was so you all knew that I didnt disrespect her or lie to her or anything, in case you would accuse me of being a shitty boyfriend. I wasn't at all. I used to surprise her with flowers occasionally, which I'd never done before with any other woman. (which does not mean i was a shitty boyfriend to my other girlfriends.. it just means i tried extra hard with this girl.)

2. all of you have been saying "well at least you didnt get to ask." Ok, yeah, I didn't say the words "will you marry me", but I had the ring in my hand and was about to get on one knee.. but before I could she stopped me.. so I'm guessing she realized that I was going to pop the question.

3. pimpin88 - once again, you have mistaken me for someone I am not. I was not clingy, I was just telling the world of FML that i really *DID* care about her.. I mean 5 years for god's sake.. sorry, i'm still bitter.. it's weird that you say that because in our relationship she always seemed to be interested in only me.. even in the last week that we were together it was all totally fine. I have no idea what happened. Nothing changed, at least I dont think...

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Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51409) - you deserved it (3548)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by travinator121611 (man) - United States (California)

travinator121611's comment about their FML

I drive a 1974 VW Super Beetle...I HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONING!!! So my windows + the window wings are open to draw air in. The SUV hit it right (obviously) cause it hit my window and came through my side wing window. So GROSS...but it didnt stink or anything.

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Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

#4498593
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (66433)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by drunkard (man) - Germany (Bayern)

obsdwitDBH's comment about their FML

OP Here!
First off, the company ISP is based in Germany, but I'm in the Netherlands.
Secondly, I didn't know it was her f*cking dad! This older guy just comes up and is like, "Hi, how are you?" and everything and he starts talking about rock climbing... I mean, come on. First 5 minutes, okay, the dude was busy for what felt like 10, maybe 20 minutes. I couldn't handle it.
I went to kiss my girlfriend to tell her goodbye cause I saw her grab her stuff and she says her dad is here to pick her up, and that's when I see her to hug him and realize it's him.

Now, that's more than 170 characters, which is all that is allowed.

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Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

#4474549
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (11072)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

guard35's comment about their FML

omg,everybody needs to calm down. im not fat. and im not looking for sympathy. i just thought it was funny that the kid said that. i dont think that "my life is over", i thought it was hilarious and laughed forever and told pretty much anyone who wanted to listen. i probably have higher self esteem that most of you on this site anyways. go find something better to do with your life than waste it on the computer ranting about stupid things. k thanks bye

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ahhahaha's comment about their FML

Okay this is my FML and to address everyones comments- yes the name candyman was thaught of and is used. And I can't believe only one person figured out that it's simply a midlife crisis issue. And yeah, I put it under kids for a reason. It is FML because I can't use it against him cuz he's too much of an ass. And for another reason that will be posted as another FML. Thank you and goodnight

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Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

#4434062
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67595) - you deserved it (27730)

On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)

gorgeousrenthead's comment about their FML

i was *cough* receiving...

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Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

#4433502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41865) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/10/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by elevatorFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

elevatorFAIL's comment about their FML

To clear this up: it was mainly because the people in the hotel were not helpful at all and this was just one of the last straws. The FML part was the guy at the front desk of the hotel in New Orleans was like the most unhelpful person ever.

And it's also kind of akward if you don't exactly get along with the person you're stuck with.

And no, I am not usually claustrophobic, but in extreme cases, like such, it is rather disconcerting.

As for the cell phone service in the elevator, we were only about 4 inches up from the ground floor.

And if FML let me post a longer story, it would have been entirely different.

If the girl I called had posted, it would have been mainly about the fact that the hilarity of this whole situation caused here to piss herself. Especially with the fact that our adult leader used force to open the elevator doors...

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Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

#4425667
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50528) - you deserved it (3146)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:52am - health - by t0pher (man) - United States (New York)

t0pher's comment about their FML

i need physical therapy for 3 months so i can loose the crutches cause the tumor is spread around my tendons

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