Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my mother keyed my car because I wouldn't invite her into my home and get her a cup of tea, so she could continue screaming that she was going to kill me while I tried to feed my 4 month old daughter. The last time I got her a cup of tea she threw it in my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44680) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/10/2010 at 2:12am - misc - by crazyparents (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

howtragic's comment about their FML

I am 24 years old and have been married for 4 years, own my own home etc. I went to private schools and uni, all the "good family" crap. But in reality, my mother is just off the rails, and my father is just as bad. She's always been like this, and it was ok when it was just me she was trying to hurt me but its gone beyond that now. Calling it quits and keeping well away from her. And she dosn't take sugar.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (4517)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:06am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Dee628's comment about their FML

I had to move back in until I can move into my building for school on the east coast.
I've tried cleaning with bathroom cleaner and bleach, but the smell keeps coming back. Neither of them will admit to it and I never pee in the shower, EW. =P
Obviously not all men are slobs, I just wish I didn't live with two of them. I lived with one of my guy friend's last year and had the same problem. I was the only one that actually cleaned. ~_~
(I'm the OP, I never thought I'd make it onto FML, so I was surprised to see this! lol)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29245) - you deserved it (3472)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by lucki (man) - Canada (Ontario)

luckiXiii's comment about their FML

OP here, going to try and clarify all misunderstanding. #1: i'm a 100% heterosexual male! #2: my girlfriend is pretty and i love her for all she's worth. #3: i'm well known in my circle of friends and their families, so they can tell it's me even from behind. #4: the reason why my girlfriend was mistaken for a guy, was probably because she had short hair, and she was wearing my baggy jacket which i let her borrow because she was cold that day. And I took some of the advice from people here and brought her to work! Showed those people a thing or two! Haha!

See all the comments

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:49pm - misc - by ecuboy (man) - United States (North Carolina)

ecuboy's comment about their FML

To answer some questions: I attend a public university (ECU), and the professor teaches closed-minded ethics. If you take anybody's cultural background or own personal beliefs into consideration when determining if what they did was morally right or wrong than you are wrong. There are no gray areas and there are no extenuating circumstances to change that in his mind.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I found that windshield wipers on my car had been stolen. I bought a pair of new ones for around $10 but when I was trying to put them in place, I failed to hold a wiper holder and it slipped down on the windshield, causing cracks. Now I have to replace the windshield which will cost approximately $150. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/26/2010 at 7:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Ukraine (Cherkas'ka Oblast')

Kolobok's comment about their FML

Hi to all! I'M THE AUTHOR OF THIS FML :) Thanks for your votes and conversation!
Some remarks: my car is Skoda Fabia (2002), windshield was Ok before this thing happened, and the windshield was cracked by the wiper holder (wiper arm), without a wiper itself. It of course didn't break into pieces - just the inferior layer of the glass got a "star" of cracks 10-15 cm each which are gradually growing :(

P.S. In my country (Ukraine) average month salary is probably ~$250 and up to 1/3 of people live for half of that.

P.P.S. I myself was surprised to see my wipers stolen as those old ones cost $3-4 max :) And I thought that steeling such things was left somewhere in 1990-s

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I found out the memory card our engagement photos were taken on has been corrupted, so all the images are lost. The guy who took the pictures said that this has never happened to him in the eight years that he's been a photographer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (2941)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by shs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

shs's comment about their FML

actually the technician the photographer works with determined that it may take 4 months to recover them. there's no guarantee that it would actually work though and it's extremely expensive.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (5135)

On 10/18/2010 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Lol_0127's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. Let me clarify a few things. He's not suffering finacially. He makes $60,000 a year. I make $20,000. He bought a $3000 ring which was more than enough for me. It's beautiful. I don't want a massive rock. I don't spend all his money. I support myself. We live together. I pay half the rent

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today, I discovered that instead of being a harmless way to relax after a rough day, parking in an empty lot apparently means you are either dealing drugs or want to commit suicide. I was detained, my car was searched and I was grilled about my happiness. Great stress relief, eh? FML


I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/17/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

takeitandrun's comment about their FML

I'm OP, and not Canadian... nearish Denver, CO

To be fair, it is a little suspicious and I understand that, but they seemed to already have their mind made up when they came to my window that I was up to something, even after I explained the situation. I have an hour+ commute between home and work and after an awful day at work and in general I needed a few minutes to chill out before making that drive. The lot was empty and out of anyone's way so I parked and was there maybe five minutes before the police pulled up.

And to the questions - I did not consent to a search, one of the officers that arrived had a dog and when he took it around the outside of the car it hinted on the passenger side - nothing was in the car but I had a friend in the car the night before that has a medical marijuana card so the dog probably caught that scent. Something that I also explained to the officers. But that was enough to give them probable cause and so they searched my car, finding nothing. That all took probably twenty minutes and then they continued to question me for another twenty or so about if I was going to hurt myself and related things.

It was pretty ridiculous, but at least they let me go.

See all the comments

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10225) - you deserved it (36483)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Triumvirate (man) - United States (California)

Triumvirate's comment about their FML

The mistake I made mimicking that cop's behavior was a stupid and thoughtless one. You got me on that one.

That being said, I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and be called a moron by people who dont even possess a rudimentary grasp of the English language. Seriously, nothing is wrong with what I typed. The admins of this site didn't change one thing as far as I can tell. I feel like I'm being lectured by a wookie on proper shaving techniques. I hate being a hardass about grammar, spelling and punctuation but the absurdity of being corrected by people who suck at all three is unbelievable.

I finally understand the grammar Nazi and his/her function.

See all the comments

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (34910)

On 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by lookbothways (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

cantthink123's comment about their FML

I'm the OP - just to let you know, I'm a young girl in my 20's, so I generally try to be careful in high crime areas. If that makes me a bad person, then okay. I was crossing the street from one side, and the road curved so I couldn't see the car coming. The guy was on the other side of the road. I'm fine now, I was only in the hospital for a couple of hours, broken leg and a couple of stitches.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/05/2010 at 2:33pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Pensu's comment about their FML

No, I wasn't forcing the cough; I've got bronchitis, I just get coughing fits that last for a while and can't control them.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20309) - you deserved it (3371)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Gearhead369 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

gearhead369's comment about their FML

some people were smart enough to figure out "fixing" my air conditioning was simply just smashing out my window. and I didn't hitchhike, my wife picked me up!

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I went to sit on the ground next to my crush at our college's free concert. Just as I took the final step toward him, somone ran into me causing me to trip and kick him in the crotch. He had to go to the emergency room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (2783)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

rd_less_traveled's comment about their FML

hey everyone. I'm the ball kicker. To clear up a few things. 1-how i kicked his balls: My foot was halfway off the ground and i was bumped into causing me to stumble and landing my foot in his crotch. 2-why he went to the e.r: I was wearing steel toe boots (hindsight, not a good idea. but i had to go to work after class and i drop things on my feet alot and i work in a storage area. shit is heavy) 3-why i couldn't stop myself from kicking him: I have no answer for this. It was a horrible moment and I have yet to stop saying sorry. 4-how he is doing: there was no major damage to the actual testicles, but his inner thigh is bruised. In other words, he's fine. 5-he does forgive me and we went our first date the other night. and 6-about the asshole who ran into me: karma.
thanks for all the advice, comments and other stuff that was said. Some of you guys are hilarious and it makes me feel better for the horrible incident.

See all the comments

Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: