Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10473) - you deserved it (30528)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

wtfson's comment about their FML

To everyone asking, how could I have possibly prepared for this? I can't just teach my son not to through pee bottles and other things out the window. That will give him ideas... But rest assured, no more "grenades" will be tossed :)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/12/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by Doortje (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Doortje's comment about their FML

It was a mistake, normally the music goes out when the mall closes. It was just something that'll likely not happen again but was really frustrating at that moment.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41744) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

broken_tibia's comment about their FML

clarification: I was wearing a shin-gaurd (clearly not a very good one...), the kick had enough force to break my leg anyways. Also, I only know about the loud crack because people told me about it, I didn't hear it myself (I was too busy writhing in agony to register much of anything really).

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12132) - you deserved it (36917)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

479firefighter's comment about their FML

um I have a degree in firefighting I'm 26 and the tree was too big to start with and it was fake. plus we have a open fire place. so I put the tree in the best possible spot. my bad I put it out b4 it hurt any of the house.... no more tree tho

See all the comments

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (5050)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

molly_runner's comment about their FML

for all you guys that dont understand this, its a SIDEWALK plow .

See all the comments

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42am - health - by iceicebaby (woman) - United States (Ohio)

pere's comment about their FML

there's a few treatments that help stop the vasoconstriction, but most have side effects (of course!) so a first course of action is just to bundle up...which believe me, doesn't work nearly as optimally as it should! And yup, purple/grey feet when they warm up! Some people have really severe cases where open ulcers + gangrene can occur and yes, they really do lose fingers and toes :(

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16414) - you deserved it (24651)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

justgracexD's comment about their FML

Didn't have an account when I first posted this fml. But I wanted to clarify a few things.

1. I was wearing mittens because it was below freezing and my car was still cold.
2. Washington doesn't believe in salting the roads or doing anything to ease winter driving mainly because we rarely ever get snow. People here also freak out whenever some crack like substance falls from the sky and driving in poor weather conditions becomes a problem.
3. Said idiot driver was previously tailing my car before he passed me and the cars in front of me.
4. I actually didn't think this would become an approved post. I just copied and pasted my facebook status. xD I'm glad that some of you found this amusing though.

See all the comments

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (2721)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by paradox - United States (Texas)

bannedpianoman's comment about their FML

Most of you are saying this sounds fishy, and I tried to write this part in the FML, but I didn't have room with the 300 character limit...

Since I was a senior for only 9 weeks (half of a semester) this year, they refused give me a new school ID. I tried using my ID from Junior year, since I figured 2009-2010 would work, but they said that that ID was invalid starting the first day of this year. They said that my only other option would be a driver's license.

Same situation, more details...

See all the comments

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (2538)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

fightingkittens's comment about their FML

Feeling better? It's one thing to talk about the drama in one's personal life, as long as the details aren't too.......well, you get it. It's another thing to talk about a staph infection. I've done research in this field, I know how bad it is. There is no way I could have escaped hearing it unless I had left the classroom; she was out of line here.

See all the comments including 9 other original poster's reactions

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/14/2010 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

XNadiaX's comment about their FML

Sorry that I have not commented. I didnt realize it was actually posted. My Ex-fiance said that I look and act like Hinata Hyuuga (shippuden?) from Naruto. He even bought me her jacket and asked me to wear it whenever we go out. He said when he met me all he saw was a real live Hinata and he "couldnt pass up that. especially that chest"

See all the comments

Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (6362)

On 11/14/2010 at 1:54pm - love - by freedomofmusic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

freedomofmusic's comment about their FML

Hi, I'm the OP. 5'10" and 130lbs... is that fat? Cause that's me. Sure, he was joking, but it still hurt.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (33691)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by frenchboyfriend (man) - Australia (Queensland)

frenchboyfriend's comment about their FML

The next day (on her actual birthday), I wished her a happy birthday again and luckily I still had a present for her (I had planned on giving her the nicest present right before bed the previous night but when she told me her birthday was the next day, I kept it for her real birthday!). :-)

See all the comments

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (8333)

On 11/10/2010 at 2:58am - animals - by Kate - United States (Oregon)

thatgirlinoregon's comment about their FML

It was fine, I was on a bicycle. It was bad because the horse was massive, and I didn't see it until I couldn't stop in time. The cop laughed.

See all the comments

Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: