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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56193) - you deserved it (5305)

On 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm - love - by ApparentlyNotEno (man) - United States (West Virginia)

ApparentlyNotEno's comment about their FML

OP here. We've actually had a threesome together and loved it. But she specifically wants to be with other men without me there.

See all the comments including 11 other original poster's reactions

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50050) - you deserved it (4569)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by prdp - United States

prdp's comment about their FML

Thanks for your nice comments! I kind of knew it would come eventually, because 3 generations of my family have consistently had carpal tunnel, but it was intensified by my piano playing (and especially the fast music I tend to choose to compensate for my inability to reach larger chords) and made the symptoms appear at a much earlier age than any of my relatives. Luckily, I'm not JUST a pianist! I'm also an extremely avid concert and marching brass player (a female brass player? Who knew they exist?) who plans to audition for drum corps in the very near future. Classical (though I also play some jazz) piano and band are my true loves, and I know I won't stop playing piano anytime soon, nor will I stop my other instruments. :)

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Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (6540)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:25am - work - by SApprentice (woman) - United States (Virginia)

SApprentice's comment about their FML

Hello peoples, I do believe that the old man meant no harm. I'm not sure if his eye sight was bad, or if he just had different expectations for the way a woman should look. I look quite feminine usually, just not in my work uniform. My hair is very short for a woman, and since I am too slim at the moment I kind of disappear into my work clothes. I wasn't wearing make-up, so I'm sure I looked a little masculine to him. It's okay, my self-esteem was only briefly wounded.

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Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45369) - you deserved it (20712)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by cupcakechick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

cupcakechick's comment about their FML

hey guys, OP here, my bf is an amazingly great guy, and he cares about me very much, and Its just I have low self esteem, so even if I bump into him, ill apologize over and over again, and it bugs him because im always beating my self up, we have great communication, so later that day he called me back and apologized for being rude, im the luckiest girl alive to have a bf like mine :)

See all the comments including 27 other original poster's reactions

Today, my cats were making a ton of noise rolling around and fighting over their toys, and I yelled for them to knock it off. When they looked up at me, their "toy" ran away. Not a toy, but a real mouse. It's been 2 hours, and I still can't find it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (11471)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:28pm - animals - by drkate25 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

drkate25's comment about their FML

They were definitely playing! They did catch it again, ironically enough, in this little pop-up 'mouse hunt' toy tent thing. I managed to trap it and get it outside safely, though they miss their toy.

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Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML


I agree, your life sucks (68887) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by songbird062 (woman) - (Cambridgeshire)

songbird062's comment about their FML

Hi guys! (Sort of) OP here. This isn't actually exactly what happened, because someone copied my original FML, altered it slightly and the resubmitted it as their own. When I say "altered it slightly", I mean they changed 18 months to two years, and left out the part about his brother dying as well, apart from that, it's basically word for word identical. It was credited to me after I noticed and reported it. He did say that he'd be willing to reconsider after some time apart, but I sure as hell am not going back there again. And for those who are asking about my weight, I gained 2kg, or approximately 4 pounds for our friends using imperial measurements. I'm around 70kg (150 pounds), which, for my height of 5 foot 9, is perfectly healthy. So no, I am not at all obese.

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Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44758) - you deserved it (2805)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:00pm - health - by nightbirdblue (woman) - United States

nightbirdblue's comment about their FML

I know. I tried to explain, but that got me screamed at. My mom accused me of acting like the parent and cussed me out.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was at my nursing internship. After helping a patient get into bed, I began to walk out of the room when I heard him say to another nurse, "Now that was a king sized lady". To make things even better, she didn't understand him the first time and I got to hear him say it again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (4833)

On 05/30/2013 at 9:54pm - work - by melody91 - United States (Texas)

melody91's comment about their FML

Op here! I was happy to see all of the supportive comments I got, I was expecting a lot of negative comments from judgmental people and there were only a few.
I am a bit over weight but I have been working on it, I've lost 40 pounds in the last year with 30 to go. I am also pretty tall for a woman (just under 6').
I'm still not sure if he was commenting on my height or weight (maybe a combination of both). The adorable 94 year old man who made this comment is very sweet normally, so my ego was a little hurt for a while but I decided to brush it off :-)

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Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (16371)

On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Cristoforo - United States (New York)

Cristoforo's comment about their FML

To follow up, I was watching Star Trek: Into Darkness (really great movie) and the only ones sitting next to me were my friends. We were sitting in the middle front, I could hear a few "ew's" from the rows behind me but I heard more laughs. I kept my face straight forward and tried to pretend it wasn't me lol

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Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45048) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

JDziewaltowski's comment about their FML

After speaking with the chief of police, the officer who stopped me, and a lawyer, we've all come to the conclusion that yes, it was a case of excessive force. The officer took a split second glance, and "panicked" No I'm not sue happy, I got my apology, even though I could take it to court, win, and "fuck the police" I'm not. At the end of the conversation, we even had a laugh at the fact that officer aggression needs a chill pill. Although I did get a pretty decent bruise on my chest/shoulder. No harm done.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14248) - you deserved it (113509)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)

faitoh's comment about their FML

Um, OP here. Scared to reply because of the abuse I've been getting but obviously I deserved it, I know that.

1. I guess I posted it as an FML because I realised how much of a dick/arsehole/cunt/wanker I'd been...
2. The guy wasn't cycling to the side like he should have been, he was more out to the middle. I just lost my cool to be honest, if he doesn't care about his safety by doing that, why should I bother about not making him jump? (unpopular opinion obviously...)
3. I should probably point out that this was a quiet road, I was the only car, otherwise I wouldn't have done it, which may be surprising to some of you...
4. He caught up to me because I slowed back down to normal speed after about 30 seconds. Guess he was stronger than I thought.
5. I KNOW I'm a colossal twat. But I still hate cyclists. Some of them are SO up their own arses. Having said that, I WILL NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

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Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38042) - you deserved it (4275)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)

AwkwardHaole808's comment about their FML

My friend isn't suffering from depression. She told me she did this stunt because she couldn't get the package that she wanted and that this would "show her parents".

Also, yes this doesn't affect me nearly as much as it does her or her loved ones. However, I am her friend and don't want to lose a good friend over something so small.

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Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm - kids - by Kittykat900 (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Kittykat900's comment about their FML

Hi OP here, a little extra detail. My little girl (7 years old) is having her "bad haircut faze" she is self conscious about it and it didn't help that she overheard this obnoxious woman! I had to spend hours building back up her confidence. It was truly a horrible thing to do. Sorry it doesn't show up as mine as I posted it from my phone and then made an account!

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