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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

#12246701
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (27511)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by Intoxicunt - United States (Florida)

Intoxicunt's comment about their FML

I did NOT go back to get them! God, can you people NOT read? Read ALL of the other comments where I explain what happened. I'll repeat it. I did not go back for them. Again, I did not go back for them. How many times do I have to fucking say it!?!?

See all the comments including 23 other original poster's reactions

Today, I came home from vacation to discover that one of my friends had broken into my house, painted my room a hideous color, ruined my hardwood floors with the paint, and left huge mess for me to clean. When I confronted her about it, she called me ungrateful. Everyone I know agrees with her. FML

#12181757
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3752)

On 07/29/2010 at 4:02am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Indiana)

BoondockSaint9's comment about their FML

Hey, this is the OP...just made an account to clarify this. She painted my room black, then tried to paint turquoise stripes over it. The hardwood floor might be fixable, yeah, but getting the black paint out of my white carpet...? Not so much. Not to mention she broke my patio door to get in...and she tried to poor the extra paint down the drain in my bathroom sink, so that's all clogged up. Needless to say, she's not my friend anymore...if I can get her to pay for the damages and a painter to fix my room, I won't press charges.

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Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

#12180992
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (6910)

On 07/29/2010 at 3:21am - health - by tonirene - United States (Oklahoma)

tonirene's comment about their FML

To answer all of Qs..
I am a straight girl, no she's not fat.
she just couldn't see it therefore it was difficult to apply medicine.
I did it because I am a good friend and she told me to put it up on FML lol.
turns out it wasn't a spider bite afterall though, she has a staph infection on he ass,

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Today, my live-in girlfriend and I broke up. She told me she can't leave because she has nowhere to go. I'm stuck with her until she finds a job and an apartment. FML

#12165294
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (9817)

On 07/28/2010 at 12:53pm - love - by skizpow7 - United States

skizpow7's comment about their FML

It is my apartment, and we broke up mutually. she moved here from 50 miles away to live here and we'd been together two years. we just recently figured out that our relationship was great... right up until she moved in. we simply can't live together.

and I'm not gonna kick her out, totally rude. she gave up her life in her town to come live here, I don't expect her to be able to up and leave. she's only been here a month and doesn't know anyone close and her parents live 4 states away. it'll just be super awkward. FML

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Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

#12061995
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32837) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)

fartingdogprego's comment about their FML

Thanks for those that understand! Hubby--great guy, went on this trip to get paternity leave later. Timing just sucks with bedrest (high blood pressure, just precaution, can't drive, walk the dog, clean, cook, work, etc) and a dummy move to give the dog food he's not used to. Texas is too hot to leave him outside. My mom helps in the am before work, and his mom is helping in the pm after work. Cooler with food they are making me and the laptop are making it bearable, and friends/hubby call all the time on the cell. Can get up to use the restroom as needed. Just sucks to be in bed or on the couch with a farting dog and not able to walk him and get some fresh air.

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Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

#11974509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (7846)

On 07/19/2010 at 12:38am - misc - by LaneyyenaL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Laneyyenal's comment about their FML

I'm the OP and it wasn't a huge deal as you all are making it out to be for me. A friend told me I should post it here to see if it got published. I'm not fat, and the only hair I have is what's on my head...If I had known the guys it would have been different, but these were guys that I have never met before. And its easy to not hear what's going on downstairs when the TV is on and the guys are all getting high, so there's no extra voices going on. I don't generally parade around in little to no clothing...but to each their own. Way to make this a way bigger deal than it needs to be people...

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Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

#11719192
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (15381)

On 07/07/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by BadLuckinLove (woman) - United States (Texas)

rig_89's comment about their FML

OP here! Haha. For those wanting to know what happened afterwards -
Me: Are you trying to have sex with me right now?!
Him: Seems like it.
Me: *stomp off pissily*

Yeah. We made up later. He told me I was the last girl he wanted to have sex with, and in his book that was pretty much love. :) Haha. He makes jokes a lot, but I was in a bitchy mood it didn't seem funny to me right then, he didn't realize how upset I was and that it would make me even more upset. Now I think its hilarious, and its a win for both of us since we got on FML! :)

And yeah, he got some later after we made up lol.

Overall, he isn't a total douche and I didn't mean to pull a bitch move on him. I was being overemotional.

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Today, I awoke to find that my car had been burglarized in my own driveway and several hundred dollars worth of electronics were stolen. I only later discovered that my campus parking pass had also been stolen when I got a $75 ticket while taking a chemistry test. FML

#11215683
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (3492)

On 06/15/2010 at 12:32pm - money - by 1129 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

2_56_40's comment about their FML

I couldn't list everything that was stolen but it was my sirious radio, my ipod, my GPS, and my sister's GPS (her fault). Nothing was in plain sight except for the radio. And the parking pass itself was $100.

Also... I think burgled sounds waaay weirder that burglarized...

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Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

#11051397
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60717) - you deserved it (3639)

On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)

Myzyri's comment about their FML

I am the original poster. Several people (not from this website) suggested I sue. For $250, I got a lawyer to write a threatening letter to my previous employer. By the way, I worked in the accounting department for a beer distributor with about 80 locations in the midwest. The lawyer kept it vague since my employment was "at will," but did mention the Civil Rights Act hoping it might scare them a little since Civil Rights violations are bad for business reputations. Basically, I'd heard my old boss telling jokes about blacks, Hispanics, Polish people, etc. With me being Polish (half-Polish, but with a "ski" name), my attorney said it was the only possibility we had so long as we could get other people to say they'd heard him tell these jokes. It would show that he was prejudiced by nationality (national origin). I knew several of my co-workers had heard his jokes before and thought they were distasteful, but I wasn't sure they'd come forward since they were still employed there. We knew it was a long-shot, but for $250, I figured we'd try anyway and maybe they'd settle quickly and easily just to make me go away. I doubted that would happen, but I was thinking it was worth it if I could at least get a little money out of them to help my family make it through if I couldn't get another job for awhile. Anyway, the VP (the owner's son) actually called me to get details on what happened. I basically told him that my boss was always snotty with me and based on his jokes, it might be because I'm a "Pollack." Apparently, when my old boss filled out the paperwork for my termination, he wrote down that he fired me because of excessive tardiness (I have NEVER been late and, in fact, I was ALWAYS 30-45 minutes early even though I was salaried). I explained the situation from my perspective and the VP said he'd get back to me. Three days later, he called me and said that he personally looked into it. The electronic access cards we use to get into the building have a database that records when people come and go. It proved I had been EARLY and hadn't missed a day of work in the last 6 months (that's as far back as the records went). He said he also talked to my co-workers about my "level of character" and my old boss. Based on everything he found out, he fired my old boss for falsifying company documents (my termination papers). In the end, since I met all the qualifications for my boss's job, the VP offered it to me. It comes with a five year contract instead of "at will" employment and even better, it's a 20% pay increase. Finally, to seal the deal, they gave me an $8,000 signing bonus. I've decided not to sue and I start again on Monday! FML Rescinded.

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Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

#11018444
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (4969)

On 06/06/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by gixxergirl8787 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

gixxergirl8787's comment about their FML

heres the story behind the post for all you assholes who think im ugly or a bitch. really? anyway. my boyfriend of 5 years had gotten back the day before from 2 weeks in florida buying our new house. i had already left for a camping trip. He was to meet me down the next day. On his way down 'supposibly' his friend calls to tell me there has been a terrible accident and he was rushed to the hospital. My drunk ass freaks out drives an hour back home and rushes to the hospital. oh heyy.. guess what hes not there. I go to his house... and theres his car. The excuse was he didnt want to hurt my feelings by telling me he didnt want to camp in the first place... so he just lied. Its his birthday tommarrow and i will not be buying him a damn thing. there ya go :)

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Today, the supervisory staff at work was changed in my area. The good news? My boyfriend is now my manager. The bad news? My ex, the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, is our supervisor. FML

#10710054
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7817) - you deserved it (65675)

On 05/23/2010 at 10:23am - work - by nick_of_time (woman) - United States (Maryland)

nick_of_time's comment about their FML

Lol, people are soo funny. I agree with half of the post on here. Karma is indeed a bitch but as for me saying FML because now they might find out and I'll get punished well, they both already know so not so much. BTW, no hearts were broken so wrong again.

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Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

#9988186
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (12075)

On 04/19/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Koubz (man) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Koubz's comment about their FML

Guys, I only posted this to make people laugh. My life does not suck, nor did that ruin my day at all.

Anyway i have allergies, and it was like 35 degrees celsius that day.

I DID have tissues on my desk (I think) but by instinct, when i don't have tissues i sneeze away from whoever i'm talking to (usually towards the ground or the opposite way)

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