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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

#6547469
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (3522)

On 12/01/2009 at 3:22am - love - by loveletterbullcrap09 (woman) - United States

Phoenix0614's comment about their FML

I'm the one who wrote this FML. I was organizing the drawer because I was trying to find our passports. I confronted him, and he admitted to TWO affairs. A few months ago, when I got sick out of town and had emergency surgery (acute cholecystectomy), I was stuck there almost 2 weeks. He never visited me once, because of "work", even though it's less than 3 hours away. I looked at our bank account--day of my surgery, he was buying sushi for two, and then breakfast the next morning. Oh yeah, he also bought a trip for two to Vegas over Xmas break. A week ago, he told me, via text message, he filed for divorce. So yeah, FML, several times over.

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Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

#6479500
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (3830)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm - kids - by w0rstdayever - United States (New York)

w0rstdayever's comment about their FML

OK, maybe it wasn't terrible. Except for the fact that this is what the site is for. It still sucks even if my life isn't fucked to shit.

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Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

#6444346
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (31908)

On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)

TinyDancer22's comment about their FML

Yes I have a towel in my car. I bring my dog to the beach all the time and use towels to cover the seats.

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Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (3625)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

OpenWide's comment about their FML

I actually laughed at the time. Probably because I didn't know what to say. I can take a joke so I went out with him a few more times but the forwardness continued so I ended it... And he never got to find out just how big my mouth really is

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Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

#6416095
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43657) - you deserved it (5891)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States

OnlyIfYouLoveMe's comment about their FML

thanx guys! 8D he is a jerk, glad you agree. And to RyeBreadBoy, I do have smart views on politics ( wow that sentence does not sound right, oh well). I'm just as smart as you, and I have intellegent ideas.

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Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML

#6351623
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/18/2009 at 3:43am - kids - by Widespread (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Australian315's comment about their FML

Hi I just joined up to FML after this comment got posted (as it was mine) and i just wanted to verify some things.
a) my daughter only ate chocolate because a kid at school gave her some, even though her teachers know that she cant have any dairy
b) I do keep all of the dairy in our house hidden
c) she only spewed at 3am because she has late reactions, eg, around 12 hours after she eats the dairy

please stop saying how im a bad parent. accidents happen.

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Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML

#6350423
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (6734)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by illinformed (woman) - United States (Washington)

chelserz7547's comment about their FML

ok so dumbasses, this is my post. yes i drove all the way there. and i checked everything before i left. i left around 1pm and they called the stadium around 2. so there was no way to find out until we got there. a family member of one of the band members died, so i'm sympathetic but mad i went that far. ticketmaster didn't call me today till about 6pm TODAY. so it's not your position to be effing rude when i checked everything. and go ahead and hate all you want i don't care i love 3DG and i'm glad they are honoring the tickets for their rescheduled date next year.

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Today, I ran outside to start my car before leaving for work. My creepy neighbor was sitting outside smoking a cigarette. He told me he just loves watching TLC, too, and we should watch TV together sometime. I've never talked to him. I watch TLC in my bedroom. He watches me through my window. FML

#6340215
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37455) - you deserved it (2629)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

kaylaclark's comment about their FML

wellll since you all must know I have curtains! But when it is sunny outside why close them? I didn't chat with him long enough to ask what time of day he watches me, but it's creepy at ALL times. And no, I probably won't get raped thankyouverymuch...having a creepy neighbor doesn't mean I'll be sexually assaulted :)

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Today, I started my first day as a security guard. After spending three years and $30,000 to become a commercial pilot, only to be told on my yearly medical that I suddenly have type 1 diabetes, and will never fly again. FML

#6334903
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36640) - you deserved it (1764)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:47pm - work - by Grounded (man) - Australia

Yaphukwit's comment about their FML

Op here, Definatly not a fake, as other posters have said, Type 1 is not exclusive to juveniles. I am 24. I had the symptoms for a few weeks (thirst, tiredness, etc.) but was only diagnosed when i went for my comm pilots medical and they detected it there. And instead of college i chose flight training. So as much as i would love to move to the states, finding a job and someone to sponsor me would be difficult.

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Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML

#6327317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (7565)

On 11/16/2009 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

pollychrome's comment about their FML

The rest of the story:
I had my cellphone on me (I always do). I called a friend who lived close by who keeps a set of keys for us. She drove over while we sat in the garage (the car trunk was unlocked and I crawled through to get to the inside of the car, and I could get access to the garage door opener, but my husband had locked the inner door to the house - which is why I tried the garage door in the first place) waiting and listening to the monitor.
I had grabbed a beer for solidarity, but wasn't really drinking it. I honestly don't like to drink very much since having the kids (obviously didn't drink while pregnant, either), but my husband is awesome and deserved some time off. So I grabbed beers for both of us so he would have one. Usually he just finishes my beer or it ends up getting poured out.
The friend got there rather quickly (about 15 minutes) while my husband sat, drank his beer and wondered aloud which of his power tools he would use to cut through the garage wall into the house if the kids started crying (they never woke up).
We got in, we laughed. I carry my keys in my pocket at all times now, and my husband doesn't think I'm weird for always having my cellphone on me anymore.

It wasn't a crisis, but it sure did freak us out. We're pretty attentive parents, and these are the only kids we're ever going to have (I got my tubes tied after delivery - we figured that two kids would be one for each of us, 0 growth population and really all the kids we could ever take care of anyway), so sometimes the whole first parent thing can make one kind of dumb. Sleep is in short supply, but the kids are worth it.

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Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML

#6322485
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25240) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:00am - work - by Yapanesedidwhat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Yapanesedidwhat's comment about their FML

All the employees in our store have to 'shop' with our customers. That includes showing them different styles, starting up fitting rooms for them AND offering our opinions WHEN asked to by customers. She tried on an out fit and she asked her husband AND me (since you know.. I do 'work' in a CLOTHING STORE)..for our opinions. Since her husband didn't say anything.. I looked over to see why he was so quiet. Instead of paying attention to his wife.. he was too busy eyeing me like a creep while licking his lips. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what his d--k head was thinking. And what was I doing "IN" the fitting room.. uh have you never seen people WORKING by the fitting rooms? Ever stop to think she came OUT of the fitting room to show her outfit?....jjeeeeezzz people....

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Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML

#6294901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (5351)

On 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm - love - by RedLust (man) - Bolivia (Cochabamba)

RedLust's comment about their FML

First of all I have already left (thanks for the support people), and second of course I discussed with her that that was wrong, and she thought otherwise so I had no other option to give the ultimatum. I f you want to be with me then why do you need your past? And women if you need more romance say something don’t look for it in other places, because if we men need more BJ (Just an example) or whatever you wouldn’t like us to be getting in other place right? Some things are important for some people and other things for others.

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Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

#6271893
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (4970)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by NotEnoughCleaner (woman) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

midgie's comment about their FML

Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her.

I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen.

And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...

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