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FML, the follow-up
Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.
Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML
TattedAsian's comment about their FML
believe it or not my girlfriend is older then me and I'm 22. we have one of those immature/mature relationships. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being mad, I would say I was at an honest 1. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being surprised/humor I was at an all time 10. I got the booger out of my mouth and acted like I placed it in the trash can. 5 minutes later I wiped it on her lips. Not the same but good enough for me. Ive always told her that when you go digging for gold you should always share with the towns people. So she did, lol. I cant blame her cuz I would do the same to her.
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Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
wowhoopla's comment about their FML
well if u all must know hat happened I showed him we had Betty crocker chipsahoy and Oreo but he insistead on having them all. And all I could day was I'm going to be cookie broke so he decided to share some... and so i had cookies with some random drunk who broke into my house. can't day I've done that before...
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Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
StinkyCactus's comment about their FML
"LOL U CANT HAS PET HEDGIE ITS EVIL/FAKE FAKE FAKE/WHO HAS PET HEDGEDOG NEWAYS?"
Eat a dick. "Google." Seriously, do you people really think it's okay to just open your ignorant trap about every little thing you have a misinformed opinion about? Seriously, before you get all stupid on the internet, know what you're talking about.
"I AM TEH HEDGEHAWG OWNUR GOD AND UR DOIN IT WRONG!"
Yes, it was a mistake for her to get into the cat's litter, but other than that, she is very well taken care of and very happy. I have done a lot of research about the kind of hedgehog she is and how to take care of her, so rest assured, she is in good hands, so please, pull your head out of your ass. Again- know what you're talking about before you judge.
"HOW I GETZ HOG? PLZ TELL MEEEEEEEEE"
Google. Seriously! That's how I did. I heard people had them as pets, so, I started researching. I drove 3 hours to find a qualified breeder to pick up my baby hedgie, but only before I spent a good week reading literature and reading articles by owners and breeders about their health and what to expect. DO NOT go get a hedgie on a random whim- AGAIN- know what you're doing before taking on a pet, of any kind. If you think you're ready, and can legally own one, look up your local breeder and set it up.
Thank you for everyone with pleasant comments and/or at least civil ones if you disagree with hedgehog ownership.
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Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML
VictimofLaw's comment about their FML
Usually they do use Astras, or they also have some police 4 x 4 they use for the stroud valley area in which I live, also they have a newer batch of focus estates.
I was very near my own home, I was not "driving irresponsibly" at all. I was in second gear doing 10 mph down my street which -granted- is a slope and is bendy, but I know the road, i've driven in snow here before.
Ive got a mk6 golf which has a clearly visible crack in the lower grate and also paintwork damage on the front of the bonnet and bumper.
I did take the time to lecture them on road-condition awareness and also have got details so their insurance will be repairing my car. It's the general inconvenience tbh which pisses me off and the hypocrisy.
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Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML
MelMayle's comment about their FML
I recently graduated from college and moved in this brand new unit / my first
apartment, which is in a different state. I figured the rates were just low and the apartment was energy efficient. Come to find out, my bills actually exceeded $100 and $200 some months... I just don't understand how the customer service reps at the utility company, nor the complex--who was paying my actual bill the entire time--did not catch it sooner, especially considering they would be more familiar with how the rates run. But my biggest problem: They taking so long to catch it, drove my bill up. Had I been aware of my actual usage, I could have easily reduced my usage.
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Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML
Jadwee96's comment about their FML
okay i am just going to further explain what happened..
I was driving a friend's car that has a custom safety feature,
so whenever you close the driver's door, it automatically locks.
I didn't know this at the time as my friend forgot to tell me.
And yes, I did manage to get out you smart alecks,
meaning someone finally drove by after an hour standing in the cold.
I didn't want to break his window since the car cost a lot of money because it is custom all of the parts are hard to get.
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Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML
atomicgirl's comment about their FML
OMG! I am the person who posted it! My husband isn't an asshole! Well not ususally! LOL We went to the doctors immediately when i did it and they thought it was just a sprain. I could NOT walk on it for 4 days, and the results just came back yesterday. I was helping around the house, but I was limping. He was making fun of me because he thought it was just a sprain. Yes, I make him sandwiches! And he makes me them too! I have a picture if you want to see it, so you'll know I'm not faking!!!!
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Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML
Thebozman's comment about their FML
Yeah I'm OP, just to clear things up...I am English and 'sick' is a fairly acceptable synonym for vomit (the noun). My cat is NOT stuck in my radiator, it just puked in it, I'm 16, is it so unacceptable to have a family cat in the city? Oh, and yes, I was being sarcastic :P
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Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML
michelleccali's comment about their FML
Ok, yes I am a teenager. The reason I was so upset over him not doing anything for our 6 months together was because he made sure I got him a present, and told me a bunch of times that he was planning something fun. So he got my hopes up for nothing. Then when I got sad about it, he got mad at me and pretty much ignored me.
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Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML
dayumm_shawtyy's comment about their FML
alright. lets get a few things cleared, i never cheated.
and he was already my ex boyfriend, we were just trying to work things out.
he got pissed off because i told him i was done with his bullshit mind games, and if he couldnt make up his mind i was out of there. he couldnt handle the truth. then thats when the yelling started.
the guy turns 19 in 5 days. i think every girl can agree he needs to grow some balls and handle things like a man, not a little kid
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Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML
countrygirl0118's comment about their FML
HI AGAIN I'M THE OP! first off the coat is nonrefundable, and I got him it because we do live in a harsh area and he has to walk to work wearing a million sweatshirts at the moment.
second, no he doesn't live with his folks, we live together so in a way it would be for me too but i thought the coat had a more pressing need.
third, i had discussed with his sister and his brother in-law that no, i was not getting him a PS3 until his birthday because blistering cold takes precedence over playing games. AND i had said if you really want to get him a game that's fine, but he won't be able to use it til February.
THEN his mother called me, and told me about them all buying him games. I said to her on the phone, "I've already bought him a nice coat and was waiting til his birthday for the game system." She then said, "Oh, well I knew that, but we knew you'd probably want to get him the system too since we've all bought him games." One game is okay, but everyone buying him a game makes it look ridiculous and then he'll have all these games and not be able to use them for 2 months.
ALSO i don't want to fight with his mother. This is the first Christmas I'm spending with them and on top of it his dad has bone marrow cancer and lymphoma and has chosen to stop his chemotherapy treatments, so this may be the last Christmas they all have as a family. So I'm not going to cause a fight.
FINALLY, all you who commented calling me spineless, maybe you should learn to reserve comments like that considering that sometimes you cannot fit all of the story into the text space provided. But I guess your bad behavior must be a product of your upbringing. Very poor manners.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
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Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML
jellyfish_ftw's comment about their FML
this is my big explanation, so pay attention.
the whole situation came about because my boyfriend was trying to keep the breakup friendly since they had a kid together, and he wants to stay in his daughter's life. therefore, he hadn't really made a fuss about making her give back everything of his/take everything of hers. this was also because he didn't fully realize how crazy she was.
the ex hated my guts already and we all knew it, and she had made threats to my boyfriend saying things like, "she'd better hope she doesn't come across me anywhere, or i'll kick her ass."
the morning of the incident, he had left early for work 45 minutes away, leaving me to sleep in. his ex called him at work telling him she needed to get something from the apartment, which he usually leaves unlocked because we live in a small town. he told her it was locked and that i was there and he didn't want her going over there......which made her insanely angry, obviously. she came over with her old key and her sister (in the sister's van) and started flipping shit.
i was asleep, and i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm extremely disoriented and out of it when i first wake up. so all i could really do was stare blearily at her while she yelled and tore blankets off. when she grabbed the bed, i woke up enough to get out of it.
she took off with the bed, which was a double-size box-spring and mattress, and dragged it to her sister's van which was waiting outside, and they drove off.
when my boyfriend came home and found out the situation, he bitched her out and told her he would do something about it if she ever came in without asking/him being there again.
there you go, FML. full story.
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