Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

#13277299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:26pm - health - by unojo08 - United States (Florida)

unojo08's comment about their FML

Thank you for your opinion, but I never said that I was attacked by the dog, I just said that I had been chased by him. I live in a part of town where its a little bit ghetto, and I didn't want to take the chance that the dog may or not be friendly, seeing as how it was chasing me. For your further information, my sister has a pit bull and it is a very loving dog that wouldnt hurt a fly. So before you cast judgement on someone for telling it how it is, please get your facts straight.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

#13252819
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8958) - you deserved it (43528)

On 09/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by ragass_mctree (man) - United Kingdom (London)

ragass_mctree's comment about their FML

dude im young, sensible and i hardly ever drink. it was my best friend's birthday party and she's leaving the country in a couple of weeks. i couldnt stand the pain of dealing with her not being here anymore so, and i agree it was stupid, drank on an empty stomach but accidentaly drank too much. dont lecture me if u dont know shit about what the situation was please

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

#13173888
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:49pm - misc - by lovedontlivehere (woman) - United States (Florida)

lovedontliveher's comment about their FML

hey guys OP here. it was at the Hard Rock Live show in orlando. the kick off of the lady antebellum need you now tour. i handed my cd to dave haywood, who gave it to hillary scott, who gave it to charles kelley who then tossed it into the crowd. and by front row i meant i was in the 'front' since it was gen admission. believe me it really happened, i would have never in a million years thought up this.

See all the comments

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

#13083024
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (38822)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

dblac74's comment about their FML

Hey guys, im the OP lol. To clarify: Insanely hot chick next to me haha. Also I had a button up shirt, and initialy it was small enough not to matter, but the effin thing didnt stop growing haha. And for those who suggested it: No. Didnt get laid. Got a nickname at work though, "Jack in the box".

...once more for the record, FML.

See all the comments

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

#13063170
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45160) - you deserved it (2977)

On 09/15/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Dioxin01 - Canada (Quebec)

Dioxin01's comment about their FML

Hey everyone,
This happened while I was driving in the United States. Also if I hadn't helped him, there would be no chance of him being alive today.

See all the comments

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

#13058940
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (7982)

On 09/15/2010 at 5:45am - health - by msyaz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

msyaz's comment about their FML

To everyone who commented on this FML...I was the one who posted it. Given that I only had 300 characters to write my FML, didn't really get to explain it properly and the way it is worded does make it sound like my fault.

Basically, the whole story goes like this. I left 40 mins early for the appointment that was only maximum 20 mins away from my house. I looked up parking costs on the hospitals website before, and it said it would cost me $4 max for any amount of time. I got there, only to find that parking was actually $7, which I didn't have on me. I had to find a free park, which ended up being about a 10 mins walk up the street. Hence, I was late. Then when I got there, I explained what had happened, asked them if I was still on the list and they said yes, it was all fine and that the wait was usually long. Hence, I didn't think anything of it when I was waiting for quite a while.

So yes, I should have been on time, but techinically the rest was not my fault.

Thanks for all the comments though :)

See all the comments

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

#13043301
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/14/2010 at 12:15am - work - by lifeguardlechery (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

lifeguardlechery's comment about their FML

To be fair, I did scream "OMG NO! GTF OFFAME!" at the time. It's just that there was no one around but him and me to hear it (it was really early). After that point in time he switched to verbal sexual harassment. =_=

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

#12888356
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (12578)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:37pm - misc - by maimay234 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

maimay234's comment about their FML

By the way, it was my first time using a bristled curling iron. I thought if you just rolled it up like a regular one, it would come right out. Looks like that didn't quite work out, judging from my hair cut. I thought I just unrolled it the wrong way so I spent 5 minutes trying to roll it out. Then I yanked the plug and started burning my fingers trying to get the hair out. Yes it smelled. Yes I know it was stupid of me to try it out hot the first time. But hey, we all have senior moments, right?

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

#12865324
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30667) - you deserved it (14755)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by ItsObamasFault - United States

Giulii's comment about their FML

I'm the OP, I posted this from my phone and that's why it
says that I live in the USA when I am from Panama and I live here in Panama. I have a teacher that definitely HATES Obama because she's more than sure that he's a muslim (ignorant, much?) and that's why me and my friends took the picture in the first place. Btw I'm sixteen and a girl, I know it was something dumb to do, but still my parents had no right to ground me based on how I 'misuse Facebook' .-.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

#12823481
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (11002)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

shelbs61's comment about their FML

K, so this is Shelby, the person who wrote the FML. To whoever it may concern: When this guy asked me whether the rock was alive, I thought he was being sarcastic so I replied, "YES!! Haha." Then he wrote something down in his notebook and I asked if he was kidding. He looked up and said, "Just tell me the answer, I wanna finish my homework." Then he asked me if pasta was alive.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. After I left his house, I realized that my cell phone had fallen out of my pocket and onto his couch, where I had forgotten it. FML

#12783944
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (16541)

On 08/28/2010 at 4:41am - misc - by averagepromedio (woman) - United States (Colorado)

averagepromedio's comment about their FML

Okay people, I guess I forgot to add at the end, "The wait at his front door while he got it for me was extremely awkward." Sheesh. And yes, I am very thankful that a couple of 18 year olds can actually be mature enough to handle a breakup well. I did it in person, and when I forgot my phone, he didn't mess with it, and I went back myself to get it. I found the situation more humorous than anything, so this post wasn't really like whining, just kind of like "Hmm, of all times something like this could happen, it just so happened to be the time I broke up with him. That sort of sucks, but it's a good story."

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

#12781520
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8137) - you deserved it (47368)

On 08/28/2010 at 1:14am - misc - by Lozza111 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Lozza111's comment about their FML

well all the other headphones that I have broke in like the first week and those ones had lasted 2 years so I wanted to keep them, plus, it's old superglue and I had let them dry for a couple of hours, although that doesn't mean I wasn't stupid to put them in my ears without checking. they didn't actually get stuck in there, it was just sticky and gross, the FML was that I was dumb enough to stick them in my ears without checking. =P

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (19083)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:46am - misc - by CrushAdrenaline - Canada (Ontario)

CrushAdrenaline's comment about their FML

:D My FML actually got posted. Is it bad that I feel proud?

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: