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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

#7353337
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (2882)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom

iKaite's comment about their FML

rofl, dont worry I told him off and sent him to bed without cake.

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Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (11005)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by indiansbaseball4 (man) - United States (Texas)

indiansbaseball4's comment about their FML

In Texas there are TONS of bars that are 18+....for all of you that claim it has been on a show, that's your own prerogative and you might need to get out more and quit watching so much TV. Just sayin'....BUT what's so bad about trying to experience an older woman while I'm still young enough to do something about it?? haha. Bad thing about the whole deal was, I never made a move on her other than dancing and I wasn't even looking at her when she started sobbing out of control! After the comment I bought her a drink, and never even glanced her way again. FYI, while I don't have a "fake," I use my brothers I.D., so as far as the bars are concerned, I'm 25..good call synchroskater

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Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

#7315336
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (1979)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:29am - misc - by chasesd (woman) - United States (California)

chasesd's comment about their FML

The situation is a bit more in depth... maybe this little addition might clear it up some. She knows it's mine, because when I was living with him, towards the end of the relationship, she had become a pseudo roommate. This'll probably up the "you deserve it" and ah well. The shirt is my favorite for the reason that it was only available at a particular booth at the San Diego Comic-con. After the end of the relationship I had literally only one day to pack for a flight, which I had to get at the last minute (we live in Oregon, my family is in California). The apartment just wasn't organized or easy to find everything that I had there. To allow myself to get over the breakup I hadn't kept contact and of course was distracted with finding a job and getting back to normalcy that when I finally got back into contact with him, and when I finally realized that the shirt was missing, there was a conveniently posted facebook photo of his new gal and him. The shirt is unmistakable, as, like I said, it's not widely available.

Oh, and I rocked that shirt like no other, the new girl looks like a reject Sinead O'Connor with man hands; why on Earth would my favorite shirt look hideous on me?

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Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

#7299218
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (28374)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by dl_zook - United States (Missouri)

dl_zook's comment about their FML

jfyi, $17 of it went into my tank. i know it was stupid to leave it unattended, i made the post so other morons, like myself, could maybe not do something so stupid. I am fully aware you are not supposed to leave a pump unattended, something i have known for the past 10 years, regardless of the fact that the gas station i was at did not have a single sign stating the obvious(i went back and checked) i was in the gas station maybe 3 minutes at most and i was prepared and willing to pay any clean up fees needed, however the 'specialized' materials this particular attendant used was kitty litter, which she took off of the shelf and opened before going outside. the only reason i feel this would remotely qualify as a FML vs YDI is that i was stupid enough to think a drink was worth leaving my car alone at the time, so really more of a FML for being an idiot type of thing.

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Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

#7273126
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (5219)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:28am - love - by TattedAsian (man) - United States (Missouri)

TattedAsian's comment about their FML

TO ALL:
believe it or not my girlfriend is older then me and I'm 22. we have one of those immature/mature relationships. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being mad, I would say I was at an honest 1. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being surprised/humor I was at an all time 10. I got the booger out of my mouth and acted like I placed it in the trash can. 5 minutes later I wiped it on her lips. Not the same but good enough for me. Ive always told her that when you go digging for gold you should always share with the towns people. So she did, lol. I cant blame her cuz I would do the same to her.

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Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3215)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

wowhoopla's comment about their FML

well if u all must know hat happened I showed him we had Betty crocker chipsahoy and Oreo but he insistead on having them all. And all I could day was I'm going to be cookie broke so he decided to share some... and so i had cookies with some random drunk who broke into my house. can't day I've done that before...

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Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (4027)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

StinkyCactus's comment about their FML

"LOL U CANT HAS PET HEDGIE ITS EVIL/FAKE FAKE FAKE/WHO HAS PET HEDGEDOG NEWAYS?"

Eat a dick. "Google." Seriously, do you people really think it's okay to just open your ignorant trap about every little thing you have a misinformed opinion about? Seriously, before you get all stupid on the internet, know what you're talking about.

"I AM TEH HEDGEHAWG OWNUR GOD AND UR DOIN IT WRONG!"

Yes, it was a mistake for her to get into the cat's litter, but other than that, she is very well taken care of and very happy. I have done a lot of research about the kind of hedgehog she is and how to take care of her, so rest assured, she is in good hands, so please, pull your head out of your ass. Again- know what you're talking about before you judge.

"HOW I GETZ HOG? PLZ TELL MEEEEEEEEE"

Google. Seriously! That's how I did. I heard people had them as pets, so, I started researching. I drove 3 hours to find a qualified breeder to pick up my baby hedgie, but only before I spent a good week reading literature and reading articles by owners and breeders about their health and what to expect. DO NOT go get a hedgie on a random whim- AGAIN- know what you're doing before taking on a pet, of any kind. If you think you're ready, and can legally own one, look up your local breeder and set it up.

Thank you for everyone with pleasant comments and/or at least civil ones if you disagree with hedgehog ownership.

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Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

#7187535
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (1835)

On 01/06/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by VictimofLaw (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

VictimofLaw's comment about their FML

Usually they do use Astras, or they also have some police 4 x 4 they use for the stroud valley area in which I live, also they have a newer batch of focus estates.
I was very near my own home, I was not "driving irresponsibly" at all. I was in second gear doing 10 mph down my street which -granted- is a slope and is bendy, but I know the road, i've driven in snow here before.
Ive got a mk6 golf which has a clearly visible crack in the lower grate and also paintwork damage on the front of the bonnet and bumper.
I did take the time to lecture them on road-condition awareness and also have got details so their insurance will be repairing my car. It's the general inconvenience tbh which pisses me off and the hypocrisy.

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Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML

#7162635
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (2444)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:32am - money - by MelMayle (woman) - United States

MelMayle's comment about their FML

I recently graduated from college and moved in this brand new unit / my first
apartment, which is in a different state. I figured the rates were just low and the apartment was energy efficient. Come to find out, my bills actually exceeded $100 and $200 some months... I just don't understand how the customer service reps at the utility company, nor the complex--who was paying my actual bill the entire time--did not catch it sooner, especially considering they would be more familiar with how the rates run. But my biggest problem: They taking so long to catch it, drove my bill up. Had I been aware of my actual usage, I could have easily reduced my usage.

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Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

#7101847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21330) - you deserved it (4197)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:46am - work - by ducky2721 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

ducky2721's comment about their FML

I work at a treatment center for abused children.

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Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

#7088120
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19464) - you deserved it (5864)

On 01/01/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Jadwee96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Jadwee96's comment about their FML

okay i am just going to further explain what happened..
I was driving a friend's car that has a custom safety feature,
so whenever you close the driver's door, it automatically locks.
I didn't know this at the time as my friend forgot to tell me.
And yes, I did manage to get out you smart alecks,
meaning someone finally drove by after an hour standing in the cold.
I didn't want to break his window since the car cost a lot of money because it is custom all of the parts are hard to get.

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Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

#7036542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (3112)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

atomicgirl's comment about their FML

OMG! I am the person who posted it! My husband isn't an asshole! Well not ususally! LOL We went to the doctors immediately when i did it and they thought it was just a sprain. I could NOT walk on it for 4 days, and the results just came back yesterday. I was helping around the house, but I was limping. He was making fun of me because he thought it was just a sprain. Yes, I make him sandwiches! And he makes me them too! I have a picture if you want to see it, so you'll know I'm not faking!!!!

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Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

#7032364
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:22am - animals - by Stinkybedroom (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Thebozman's comment about their FML

Yeah I'm OP, just to clear things up...I am English and 'sick' is a fairly acceptable synonym for vomit (the noun). My cat is NOT stuck in my radiator, it just puked in it, I'm 16, is it so unacceptable to have a family cat in the city? Oh, and yes, I was being sarcastic :P

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