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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML

#6294901
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (5161)

On 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm - love - by RedLust (man) - Bolivia (Cochabamba)

RedLust's comment about their FML

First of all I have already left (thanks for the support people), and second of course I discussed with her that that was wrong, and she thought otherwise so I had no other option to give the ultimatum. I f you want to be with me then why do you need your past? And women if you need more romance say something don’t look for it in other places, because if we men need more BJ (Just an example) or whatever you wouldn’t like us to be getting in other place right? Some things are important for some people and other things for others.

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Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

#6271893
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (4600)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by NotEnoughCleaner (woman) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

midgie's comment about their FML

Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her.

I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen.

And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...

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Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

#6263114
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (1562)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:49pm - love - by WhatWentWrong (man) - United States (Florida)

AFunnyUsername's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, this is the person who posted this. No I'm not a creepy stalker, I'm a normal person. Today, the girl who did this asked my best friend on a date. My best friend is pretty popular, so a lot of people manage to follow what he does. After she asked, he only pointed and laughed at her, at which the point where everyone proceeded to turn around and laugh at her as well. I feel better now.

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Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

#6257717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by iluvsu504 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

iluvsu504's comment about their FML

this is the poster, and i hadnt given her the ring yet but she knew i had it, which makes it douche-ier. and yeah im a lesbian, no im not the man in the relationship, im lipstick, and i told that bitch she had lost her fucking mind. and that i would be picking up my hamster next week.

btw. forever and always was not a promise, it was a like inside saying between me and her that we developed as friends. and when youre a college kid who makes less than 300 a month with bills to pay a $120 ring is expensive
so thanks.
but yes i have the ring and the hamster and that bitch is gone!

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Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

#6213583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (3676)

On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Dobby123's comment about their FML

For those who don't get it, beside my desk is a table a little bit lower than the desk. When my elbow hit that, it stopped, but my head kept on going and technically my face hit my fist, although my fist also hit my face.
Sorry couldn't put that in the story, we can only write 300 characters, so yeah. I still have no idea how I could've hit my face so hard I got a mark :(

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Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

#6194696
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (6272)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Valedictorian02's comment about their FML

It has to be one of those four, huh? Because you know of four situations so mine has to be one of those four?

I'm OP. I took the scholarship, got a B.A. in Economics with a minor in Computer Science (not quite Basket-Weaving or Art History, sorry), did analysis for a company that recently went under, started working for a start-up until I ran out of money, then took the best job I could find, which happens to involve selling french fries.

By the way, he DID want french fries. And he got them.

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Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money and a few water bottles for my friends and me for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realized my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom moved the car. It still hurts. FML

#6192125
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (3768)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by SHARIFFO (man) - Palestinian Territory

SHARIFFO's comment about their FML

I Would have wrote more to be more specific but the site doesn't allow that much words.
This is what happened:
"Imagine a car moving in front of the whole school with legs sticking out of the window..."
All My Friends laughed, my mom never knew, she never stopped, i was scared as fuck to speak so i just got half of my body out in time as she drove off. She then stopped the car & realized asap & asked if i was okay. I was like "o.O?!"

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Today, tired and hungover, I missed my bus, tried to walk to the train station, got lost, got soaked in the rain, got huge blisters, and had to be picked up because I was late for work. I got in, drenched, tired, and cold only to be told there was "nothing to be done." FML

#6105050
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22851) - you deserved it (8393)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by KenWhatIMean (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

KenWhatIMean's comment about their FML

Well I had my transportation all sorted, I checked the train and bus times before hand, and I didn't have that much to drink, but I felt horrible because I was up til about 8 in the morning, only because the person's house I was staying at didn't go home til that time. Personally I wanted to go home about 2. The only reason I missed my bus/got lost etc is because no-one would agree to walk me to the bus stop instead of just directing me towards it, and when I tried phoning someone to find out how I got to the bus stop no-one would answer because they were all still asleep.
Also I work ALL weekend. If I didn't go out when I had work the next day, I wouldn't get to go out at all:(

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Today, I am not allowed to have any of my candy because of my sister's weight problem. FML

#6101203
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (3749)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by looloogirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

looloogirl's comment about their FML

FROM THE OP:


yes, i have way more problems than this candy incident, but ironically its the only one that ever got posted. go figure.


for the record, i am not fat myself. i am 5 ft 1 and weigh 95 lbs. k?


My mother threw away the candy, so i cannot eat it. its not possible for me to do now, its in the dump.






and for all of you assholes that say "omg this site sucks because of posts like this", go to a different site. nobody is forcing you to come here.

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Today, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. I was applying because my family is REALLY tight on cash, and I need the money. He applied because I told him about the job and we thought it would be fun working together. He was hired on the spot. I was denied the job. FML

#6096905
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (5247)

On 11/01/2009 at 3:13am - work - by jamminguitarist (man) - United States (Utah)

jamminguitarist's comment about their FML

Sorry, let me clarify. There was a business opening up in our area, so there were many openings up for the jobs. We wanted to both get jobs there. They did group interviews then passed the ones they liked onto the next one. We were in the same group interview and he made it past. I wouldn't be stupid enough to tell him about a single job that was available, but I was stupid enough to think we would both be hired :P but I went job hunting afterwards and one of the places is interested and it's a better overall job so it's not an FML anymore

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Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm and I saw and smelled smoke coming under my door. My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open, threw out as many of my belongings as I could, and jumped. Turns out, the smell and noise were from my roomates cheap vacuum cleaner, not a fire. FML

#6091826
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14186) - you deserved it (20223)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by smokedetector (woman) - United States (Alabama)

smokedetector's comment about their FML

i got in a car accident the night before, which is why i was at home on halloween.
i broke my wrist, my big toe, and my brand new 3gs iphone.
then, i found out my boyfriend was cheating on me.
im back in the hospital, suffering from severe back injuries and a broken heart
but guess what?? all that wouldnt fit in my fml post, so i kept it as simple as i could.

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Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

#6024955
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - animals - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)

freylero's comment about their FML

Basically, he's had hamsters that have dies before, and we always gave them a funeral... so I didn't want to bury him in a plastic tube so my husband gave me the job of removing the hamster....

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