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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

#20541933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by KK3137 (woman) - France

KK3137's comment about their FML

Actually, I'm 5 foot 1, so that explains the heels, and my brother was supposed to drive me, which is why I set out later in the first place.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40750) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

OptimusVader's comment about their FML

Well I did mention it was rickety. It rocked while I dusted and it was just poorly made, overall. It tilted forward, the drawer slid out and I couldn't catch it in time. Then BAM! Sudden singing light show from an old woman's rabbit.

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Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (5320)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

ShadowBox's comment about their FML

I still tend to have weird dreams like these occasionally, except now they're less Romantic-Comedy, more Saw. -_-

On the bright side, I did meet someone a few weeks ago ^.^ Nothing official but we're getting there.

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Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

#20539688
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (3321)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)

Sir_ND_Pity's comment about their FML

I know the wording makes it a bit confusing, but, yes, someone somehow spit into my bowl from the second floor :-/ unfortunately, I didn't see who did it so I wasn't able to even so much as confront them about it. I guess you could say I'm an unfortunate cookie!

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Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

#20539225
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (14466)

On 03/11/2013 at 4:37am - kids - by MissShei (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

MissShei's comment about their FML

OP here. She has recently been having nightmares and keeping us up half the night. We were both exhausted so we said fine. I got up to go pee and when I came back, she had thrown my pillow on the floor and completely took over my side of the bed. If I moved her, she would've started screaming again and I just wanted sleep. I let her father deal with her at that point! I did sleep well for the rest of the night :)

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

#20538070
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59023) - you deserved it (7095)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by themouseman1212 - United States

themouseman1212's comment about their FML

I'm trying to. It's been a long time. But I'm still hopeful. Just trying to be the best husband and father I can be. Thanks for the support.

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Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

#20537944
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47767) - you deserved it (8949)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)

cremyfrozentreat's comment about their FML

You're right, I did not plug his nose. I was too busy laughing at the whole situation. He shoved his nose into my boob while he held my nose closed. I don't know how he managed to keep erect with everything.

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Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

#20530966
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (6861)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States

claytwin's comment about their FML

My first FML to get published and I am not proud of this moment but I did waddle back to my dorm to take a shower, and then I continued on with my life.

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Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (45602)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia

DEATHBYEX1LE's comment about their FML

I know the difference, I just made a simple mistake....

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Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28796) - you deserved it (4008)

On 03/01/2013 at 12:21am - love - by thenewgirl29 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

thenewgirl29's comment about their FML

I am OP. I have known the guy for 7 years and the pic was something my son and I drew for him. haha just seemed like an odd response

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Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56486) - you deserved it (4147)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

n3ov's comment about their FML

oh she is

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Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

sniperkit's comment about their FML

Or, y'know, my roommate's simply batshit insane and no longer my roommate.

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions



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