Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

#17701146
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18400) - you deserved it (43155)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)

Not_you17's comment about their FML

Ok so here is an update, they canceled my $147 fine because I was using 100% legal us tender. However in order to pay off the $35 in pennies they had to either be rolled by the bank or I had to count them 1 by 1, so I rolled 'em.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

#17688487
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (12168)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:37pm - work - by seriously? - United States

LittlexSparrow's comment about their FML

Did it say the bird died? Lol

See all the comments

Today, my roommate got completely wasted. He was so drunk he thought the fridge was talking. He decided to make it stop by unplugging it. Most of our food is basically ruined now. FML

#17677805
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/06/2011 at 1:56am - misc - by Mattador - United States (Georgia)

Mattador's comment about their FML

And by basically I mean completely ruined.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17649584
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42689) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)

Bloothebawss's comment about their FML

It's illegal where I live. And yeah, I'm working in the new friends thing.

See all the comments

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

#17637406
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (6745)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm - misc - by Why_Not31 - United States (Wisconsin)

Why_Not31's comment about their FML

It was one of those knee-high single wire barbed fences they use to keep deer/horses and stuff away from certain places like roads...I think. I don't really know what those fences do, except trip people and hurt a lot. At least it wasn't electric.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

#17634976
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (3329)

On 09/01/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by ScottishLad1 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

ScottishLad1's comment about their FML

This was mine, just made this account to explain. I was walking home at about 2 in the morning from a night out, and these three guys just walked up demanding everything. I had been drinking so I wasn't going to say yes, and you know the rest. Thank God no one was there.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

#17620892
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (2173)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Zolesz96 (man) - Hungary (Jasz-Nagykun-Szolnok)

Zolesz96's comment about their FML

It was a bit of awkward.
The girl was a twenty-something and her boyfriend was over thirty.
Jó látni a magyar kommenteket.

See all the comments

Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML

#17610887
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:17am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Utrecht)

happymum's comment about their FML

He got my point in THE end. Took me a while though!

See all the comments including 9 other original poster's reactions

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

#17585772
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (2544)

On 08/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

scooterr14's comment about their FML

im OP.and the break was bad enough that the scholarship was revoked. im not gonna be able to play volleyball for a few years due to ligament damage. im an outside hitter and i wont be able to jump. i could switch to libero but i wouldnt even manage to red shirt. my grades are not high enough for academic entrance

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

#17547030
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (5263)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)

wags34's comment about their FML

Well, I've done everything from asking nicely to letting my dog go in his yard. We live outside the city and you really can't sue for something like this. It's just gonna be one of those neighborhood wars I guess. It's just whenever something so stupid like this goes on you can't help but think FML.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my girlfriend of two years confessed that she'd gotten married. But not to worry: she only did it for "tax reasons." FML

#17531154
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/20/2011 at 6:20pm - love - by The_Taxman (man) - United States (Indiana)

The_Taxman's comment about their FML

I was the one who submitted this FML. She was a full-time girlfriend that I was committed very deeply to and had every intent of spending the rest of my life with. Then she sprang the whole "getting married to some other guy to help out with taxes" thing.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

#17518257
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (5669)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)

nerofirst's comment about their FML

She wanted to wear lingerie but it came with a cape

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

#17515135
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (3479)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ms_nothing (woman) - United States (Ohio)

ms_nothing's comment about their FML

My mom went to college in her 30s. She got pregnant with me her senior year in high school, and waited til she was in her 30s to go to college. I plan on proving her wrong. I've never done anything to make her say something like that.

See all the comments including 6 other original poster's reactions



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: