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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

#18075018
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (3582)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:02pm - health - by izzy54149 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

izzy54149's comment about their FML

I really can't buy my own detergent, I can't drive yet. I would walk to the store and buy it there, but all of the roads have no sidewalks and the cars don't stop. I do my own laundry, but have to use the soap, and when it gets on my hands it's like instant rash.

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Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

#18031231
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42696) - you deserved it (4988)

On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States

BoopADoop's comment about their FML

It was only like two seconds later

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Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

#18012218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (41749)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)

HMarchr's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here. Thanks to everyone who commented, even those who were less than courteous, but especially to those who weren't. What happened is that I, living at home while job hunting after graduating from college (with an engineering degree--I know, I had NO EXCUSE for this screw up! But I could tell#30 and #95 more than you care to know about motor oil and gasoline ) went to do a two-person job alone and left empty-handed. I never did mention it to my Dad. He'd never let me hear the end of it :-D Ironically, his Suburban could have towed my car, had he sprung for the towing package when he bought it, but alas, no. I didn't car-leapfrog because it was along the side of the highway and you're not supposed to run along there, and it was just more expedient to wait and get my Dad. I suppose I could have asked a friend to drive out and help me, but to anyone who suggests that, YDI too. #91, that sounds great, but I don't know of anyone in the area that offers that kind of service. #107, fifteen minutes driving is hardly the same as fifteen walking.

I'll check back here some time soonish, see what other gems of wit, consolation, and mockery you folks leave me. Cheers, everyone!

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Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

#18005874
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (7120)

On 10/17/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by alliegator_13 - United States

alliegator_13's comment about their FML

I'm a girl and yes my name is Allie. I tried to push him off of me but army dudes are tough. He was trained to fight and he still got his sister beat up. Haha. It's ok, I'll get even.

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Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

#17993103
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (17664)

On 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm - misc - by cristina_laila (woman) - United States (California)

cristina_laila's comment about their FML

I saw a man wearing a bike helmet, flailing his arms and following the little girls around. I kept jogging and saw a woman sitting on a park bench texting. She was completely out of site of the girls. I kindly asked her if she was their mother. When she replied 'yes', I told her that I saw a man talking to her daughters and that he looked like a weirdo...that's when she told me that the 'weirdo' was her disabled brother. I apologized to her and took off. I'm not a judgmental person; I was acting on my instincts as a woman to protect these young girls. Believe me, I'm mortified!!!

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Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML

#17974798
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13294) - you deserved it (33797)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by dust1535538 (man) - United States (Virginia)

dust1535538's comment about their FML

First off, this is my FML. Second, I was on a road that just so happened to not have a posted speed limit. So I just assumed the speed limit to be 45, unfortunatly according to the law here on a unposted road the limit is 35. No I didn't pass.

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Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

#17959220
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (7423)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by lollymay13 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

lollymay13's comment about their FML

Just so you all know, I am not afraid of my pet snake. The FML was a mixture of a) the snake had been in an obvious hiding place, a dark enclosed space, all along. And b) because anything that falls on your bloody head outside is going to give you a fright! He is healthy and happy, he didn't die, and has not escaped since! :) And as for all the St.Patrick comments.... 'driving the snakes out of Ireland' was a metaphor for the Catholics driving all of the Pagans out of Ireland. Of course there are real snakes here.... actually pagans too. Well there ya go! lol :) x

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Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

#17918212
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (4172)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by kemando - Canada (Alberta)

kemando's comment about their FML

Damn straight. His name's rascal.

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Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

#17918191
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:11am - misc - by kansah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

kansah's comment about their FML

I am just going to make it clear, if the covers were decent I would be able to tolerate them and give my mum credit for having such excellent taste in music, however the covers are utterly horrible.

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Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

#17909341
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (2993)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:23am - love - by princesspuffypan (woman) - South Africa

princesspuffypan's comment about their FML

This is my FML... yes I am married now and no the cops didn't catch him. The reason he was best man in the first place was due to family politics. We managed to have a small wedding shortly after but we still had to pay cost of cancellation.

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Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

#17883689
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (3685)

On 10/02/2011 at 1:15am - work - by katt_is_here (woman) - United States (Colorado)

katt_is_here's comment about their FML

Clarification time I guess. The wig was still in the bag as it was at the store. The pimp cane was another item sold at the store. I chose brevity in the FML for impact. No pun intended.

I should add that I was dressed as zombie Amy Winehouse at the time so I had a horrible beehive wig on. It was a very interesting evening.

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Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

#17876409
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (60196)

On 10/01/2011 at 2:48am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Avalanches's comment about their FML

I cried.

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