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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

#7574289
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/25/2010 at 7:41pm - work - by ironorr (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

ironorr's comment about their FML

I moved because my lease was ending, and my landlord decided to jack up my rent if I decided to renew. I could no longer afford the rent, so I moved back to the area where I grew up since rent is way cheaper being so far from a city. Also, I have a potential job opportunity in the spring in this area. There were many factors leading me to make the decision to move, and all signs were pointing to the aforementioned company never actually giving me a job. But you're right. I'm a horrible person, so I totally deserve to have unfortunate things happen to me.

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Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

#7506482
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (4293)

On 01/22/2010 at 8:01pm - animals - by HOLYCOW (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

OverTheJump's comment about their FML

Ok, my horse is a freaking rescue horse. He panics at the drop of a pin, I rescued him just a month ago from near death because of all the abuse he's been through. I'm currenty rehabilitating him and helping him through this rough patch.

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Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

#7463527
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (3366)

On 01/20/2010 at 9:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

30Degrees_Below0's comment about their FML

This is actually my post... I hadn't made a FML before this. But yeah, no matter what I do for my constipation, it's like nothing helps. I also have ovarian cysts which makes it very painful.

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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

#7453024
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5579) - you deserved it (14444)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by Tattooed_Blonde - Australia (Victoria)

Tattooed_Blonde's comment about their FML

Okay guys settle down. We were caught up in the moment and we figure at first they were only peeking over the fence, and then started jumping. Oh gosh, don't be such prudes :D

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Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

#7383623
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3248) - you deserved it (44861)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:16pm - work - by bdk_2020 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

bdk_2020's comment about their FML

Thanks all for calling me an asshole, but I would like to explain what actually happened. This website only allows you to type 300 characters, so I couldn't fully tell the story.

Firstly, you guys have no idea about 'how' I said what I said. I didn't say it maliciously, or in a taunting manner. I said it as minor tease, after he began laughing TO HIMSELF because he couldn't open them. I only said it because of that reason. I then said "I guess it's because all us men are useless at packing, right?". After I knew his situation, I apologised over and over, and I DID offer to pack all his shopping for him.

I know it was stupid of me to say it, but that's the reason why I'm on this website. I honestly wasn't trying to make fun of him or be cruel.... It was just a spur of the moment stupid comment,

Anyways, just wanted clear it up before I start getting death threats...

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Today, whilst working at the supermarket, a man came through my checkout who couldn't open the plastic bags. I thought it would be a laugh to make fun of him because of it, saying "Come on! What's wrong with you?". Turns out he has arthritis. And Parkinson's Disease. He left, more than angry. FML

#7383623
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3248) - you deserved it (44861)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:16pm - work - by bdk_2020 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

bdk_2020's comment about their FML

Ok. I've tried explaining why I did what I did, but I'm still getting the death threats and a lot of the word 'cunt' being used to show your disdain. I would like to tell you what really happened, not because I want you on my side or I'm trying to defend what I did. I just want you to see that what happened was based on simple stupidity and not because I'm the spawn of satan. So here's you some of the stuff you've all assumed that I would like to put right: -

1. This man was not at all elderly. He must have been 45-50 years old. You don't have to be elderly to have Parkinson's Disease. See Michael J. Fox for proof of that.
2. I offered to pack for him before he started struggling himself. He was alone, so I felt I should help him. He declined. That's why I thought he could do it himself.
3. I had no idea he was suffering from arthritis or Parkinson's Disease. I'd never met him before. He was struggling to open the bags, like myself and most people do, and so I made the very stupid comment based on that.
4. No, I didn't notice the shaking associated with Parkinson's Disease. I know that people think Cashier's are all idiots, wasters and the job is really easy, but you do have to focus on the screen in front of you to check the identity and the price of the item is correct. Therefore, I was barely focusing on his movements or his mannerisms. I was just doing what I'm paid to do.
5. As soon as he told me what was wrong, and I then focused on him properly, I then noticed he had a mild tremor in his hands.
6. I immediately apologised for what I said, feeling terrible. I then opened all the bags for him and offered to pack. He declined because, like you, he thought I had made fun of him because of his disability. I tried to explain, but he didn't want to hear.
7. If I knew he was struggling because he had a medical reason for not being able to open the bags, I would never had said it and would have made him let me pack. I would hate it if I saw someone who clearly had a disability not being able to do something and I'm just standing there ignoring it - That IS evil.
8. He left angry and hurt. I was left feeling horrible and guilty for being so stupid.
9. I wanted to post the FML not to get sympathy. As I said, I felt terrbile for upsetting him, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. I wanted to show people how much of an ass I'd been that day.
10. FML is all about bad things that have happened to you or that you have done. I felt that my stupidity for saying that to a man I didn't know was an FML moment.

In retrospect, I realise that the way I worded the FML sounds like I was being cruel. I can understand why you are all upset. But to say I deserve to die or have all this offensive language thrown in my direction was ok? You know nothing about me. To assume that I always behave like this, that I'm this evil, vindictive bastard, based on one stupid comment... Well, I really don't know. Furthermore, why would I post this as an FML moment if I enjoy being horrible to people? It's because I hate myself for being so stupid that I posted this.

Again, I really am sorry if I offended anyone. The last thing I wanted was all of this, so I just hope this post will clears it all up.

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Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

#7372852
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (19156)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:26am - misc - by ObeseCaveDweller (man) - United States (Connecticut)

ObeseCaveDweller's comment about their FML

This sounds strangely familiar. Oh, that's right, it was me that this happened to

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Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

#7353337
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom

iKaite's comment about their FML

rofl, dont worry I told him off and sent him to bed without cake.

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Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (10531)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by indiansbaseball4 (man) - United States (Texas)

indiansbaseball4's comment about their FML

In Texas there are TONS of bars that are 18+....for all of you that claim it has been on a show, that's your own prerogative and you might need to get out more and quit watching so much TV. Just sayin'....BUT what's so bad about trying to experience an older woman while I'm still young enough to do something about it?? haha. Bad thing about the whole deal was, I never made a move on her other than dancing and I wasn't even looking at her when she started sobbing out of control! After the comment I bought her a drink, and never even glanced her way again. FYI, while I don't have a "fake," I use my brothers I.D., so as far as the bars are concerned, I'm 25..good call synchroskater

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Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

#7315336
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (1805)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:29am - misc - by chasesd (woman) - United States (California)

chasesd's comment about their FML

The situation is a bit more in depth... maybe this little addition might clear it up some. She knows it's mine, because when I was living with him, towards the end of the relationship, she had become a pseudo roommate. This'll probably up the "you deserve it" and ah well. The shirt is my favorite for the reason that it was only available at a particular booth at the San Diego Comic-con. After the end of the relationship I had literally only one day to pack for a flight, which I had to get at the last minute (we live in Oregon, my family is in California). The apartment just wasn't organized or easy to find everything that I had there. To allow myself to get over the breakup I hadn't kept contact and of course was distracted with finding a job and getting back to normalcy that when I finally got back into contact with him, and when I finally realized that the shirt was missing, there was a conveniently posted facebook photo of his new gal and him. The shirt is unmistakable, as, like I said, it's not widely available.

Oh, and I rocked that shirt like no other, the new girl looks like a reject Sinead O'Connor with man hands; why on Earth would my favorite shirt look hideous on me?

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Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

#7299218
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9681) - you deserved it (25357)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by dl_zook - United States (Missouri)

dl_zook's comment about their FML

jfyi, $17 of it went into my tank. i know it was stupid to leave it unattended, i made the post so other morons, like myself, could maybe not do something so stupid. I am fully aware you are not supposed to leave a pump unattended, something i have known for the past 10 years, regardless of the fact that the gas station i was at did not have a single sign stating the obvious(i went back and checked) i was in the gas station maybe 3 minutes at most and i was prepared and willing to pay any clean up fees needed, however the 'specialized' materials this particular attendant used was kitty litter, which she took off of the shelf and opened before going outside. the only reason i feel this would remotely qualify as a FML vs YDI is that i was stupid enough to think a drink was worth leaving my car alone at the time, so really more of a FML for being an idiot type of thing.

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Today, my girlfriend asked for me to come to her. Then move my head in close to her and close my eyes. Expecting a sweet and romantic kiss I positioned my lips for my surprise. My surprise wasn't a kiss, instead it was a nice crunchy booger she placed in my mouth with her finger. FML

#7273126
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41720) - you deserved it (4965)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:28am - love - by TattedAsian (man) - United States (Missouri)

TattedAsian's comment about their FML

TO ALL:
believe it or not my girlfriend is older then me and I'm 22. we have one of those immature/mature relationships. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being mad, I would say I was at an honest 1. on a scale of 1 to 10 of being surprised/humor I was at an all time 10. I got the booger out of my mouth and acted like I placed it in the trash can. 5 minutes later I wiped it on her lips. Not the same but good enough for me. Ive always told her that when you go digging for gold you should always share with the towns people. So she did, lol. I cant blame her cuz I would do the same to her.

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Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

wowhoopla's comment about their FML

well if u all must know hat happened I showed him we had Betty crocker chipsahoy and Oreo but he insistead on having them all. And all I could day was I'm going to be cookie broke so he decided to share some... and so i had cookies with some random drunk who broke into my house. can't day I've done that before...

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