Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

#14505950
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25752) - you deserved it (2462)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:16am - health - by anon7113 (woman) - United States (Washington)

anon7113's comment about their FML

One, I do take an enzyme to help me break down food. It's called Similase. Both acidophilus (sp?) and lactaid don't work for me at all. I've tried.
Two, even if yogurt doesn't have lactose in it, it doesn't change the fact that it gives me very painful gas.
Three, my mother won't take me to get soy yogurt.
Four, I would have asked the pharmacist for a substitute, had I been the one picking up my medication. Unfortunately, my mother didn't realize the problem when the pharmacist was explaining the "eat some yogurt to help with diarrhea side effects" part.
Five, whoever said to get a different pill is obviously not good in this area. Most antibiotics can cause diarrhea and the only way to get rid of the strep bacteria is to take antibiotics. So really, I don't have much choice about the pill.

Just some clarifications. Thanks. :)

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

#14495263
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10405) - you deserved it (39960)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)

Melime88's comment about their FML

I must say it's a bit amusing how serious you guys took it. I'm the one who did this FML and it was mostly meant to be amusing and funny. At first I took it as an insult, but it is really a compliment. I'm proud of my butt!

See all the comments

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

#14357041
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49144) - you deserved it (3847)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

RebelBorn89's comment about their FML

To every one that thinks i'm British, I'm not. I am an American military member serving in the UK

See all the comments

Today, on my way home from a Christmas party, the cab I was in was hit in the side. After making sure everyone was okay, the cab driver informed me that I'd still have to pay the cab fare, which he'd kept running. FML

#14296882
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (2168)

On 12/22/2010 at 10:23am - money - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

elizabethcas's comment about their FML

he kept the fare running for the fifteen minutes I was standing there bent over in pain from having my ribs near broken, it cost me more than it would have to go home, I then had to pay for the hospital bill, all because he ran a red light.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

#14224790
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (6498)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Olive14 - United States (North Carolina)

Olive14's comment about their FML

Haha, alright, I'm gonna try to clear this up. It wasn't my car. We were with two guys and it was the guy she was hooking up with's car. I was sitting in the front seat talking with the other guy (you know, 'cause I kinda have this thing where I DON'T hook up with guys I've just met), when we heard sounds from the back and realized they were fucking. It's freezing here this time of year, so there was nowhere to go and it was wayyyy too cold to get out of the car. Most. Awkward. Moment. Of. My. Life.

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

#14212180
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (5871)

On 12/15/2010 at 11:34am - misc - by hotride -

jd7546's comment about their FML

I had just started restoring it when I got it, and nobody would insure it when I got it. it looked like a junkyard heap of shit, I just got it back the day before I broke up with her. still have the burnt up shell in my drive way that I have to dispose of :(

See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10403) - you deserved it (30373)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

wtfson's comment about their FML

To everyone asking, how could I have possibly prepared for this? I can't just teach my son not to through pee bottles and other things out the window. That will give him ideas... But rest assured, no more "grenades" will be tossed :)

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

#14176839
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/12/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by Doortje (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Doortje's comment about their FML

It was a mistake, normally the music goes out when the mall closes. It was just something that'll likely not happen again but was really frustrating at that moment.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

#14153684
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39996) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

broken_tibia's comment about their FML

clarification: I was wearing a shin-gaurd (clearly not a very good one...), the kick had enough force to break my leg anyways. Also, I only know about the loud crack because people told me about it, I didn't hear it myself (I was too busy writhing in agony to register much of anything really).

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12035) - you deserved it (36726)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

479firefighter's comment about their FML

um I have a degree in firefighting I'm 26 and the tree was too big to start with and it was fake. plus we have a open fire place. so I put the tree in the best possible spot. my bad I put it out b4 it hurt any of the house.... no more tree tho

See all the comments

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML

#14118560
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (4885)

On 12/07/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

molly_runner's comment about their FML

for all you guys that dont understand this, its a SIDEWALK plow .

See all the comments

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML

#14106377
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/06/2010 at 10:42am - health - by iceicebaby (woman) - United States (Ohio)

pere's comment about their FML

there's a few treatments that help stop the vasoconstriction, but most have side effects (of course!) so a first course of action is just to bundle up...which believe me, doesn't work nearly as optimally as it should! And yup, purple/grey feet when they warm up! Some people have really severe cases where open ulcers + gangrene can occur and yes, they really do lose fingers and toes :(

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

#13969398
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16288) - you deserved it (24507)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

justgracexD's comment about their FML

Didn't have an account when I first posted this fml. But I wanted to clarify a few things.

1. I was wearing mittens because it was below freezing and my car was still cold.
2. Washington doesn't believe in salting the roads or doing anything to ease winter driving mainly because we rarely ever get snow. People here also freak out whenever some crack like substance falls from the sky and driving in poor weather conditions becomes a problem.
3. Said idiot driver was previously tailing my car before he passed me and the cars in front of me.
4. I actually didn't think this would become an approved post. I just copied and pasted my facebook status. xD I'm glad that some of you found this amusing though.

See all the comments



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: