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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

#11051397
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58093) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)

Myzyri's comment about their FML

I am the original poster. Several people (not from this website) suggested I sue. For $250, I got a lawyer to write a threatening letter to my previous employer. By the way, I worked in the accounting department for a beer distributor with about 80 locations in the midwest. The lawyer kept it vague since my employment was "at will," but did mention the Civil Rights Act hoping it might scare them a little since Civil Rights violations are bad for business reputations. Basically, I'd heard my old boss telling jokes about blacks, Hispanics, Polish people, etc. With me being Polish (half-Polish, but with a "ski" name), my attorney said it was the only possibility we had so long as we could get other people to say they'd heard him tell these jokes. It would show that he was prejudiced by nationality (national origin). I knew several of my co-workers had heard his jokes before and thought they were distasteful, but I wasn't sure they'd come forward since they were still employed there. We knew it was a long-shot, but for $250, I figured we'd try anyway and maybe they'd settle quickly and easily just to make me go away. I doubted that would happen, but I was thinking it was worth it if I could at least get a little money out of them to help my family make it through if I couldn't get another job for awhile. Anyway, the VP (the owner's son) actually called me to get details on what happened. I basically told him that my boss was always snotty with me and based on his jokes, it might be because I'm a "Pollack." Apparently, when my old boss filled out the paperwork for my termination, he wrote down that he fired me because of excessive tardiness (I have NEVER been late and, in fact, I was ALWAYS 30-45 minutes early even though I was salaried). I explained the situation from my perspective and the VP said he'd get back to me. Three days later, he called me and said that he personally looked into it. The electronic access cards we use to get into the building have a database that records when people come and go. It proved I had been EARLY and hadn't missed a day of work in the last 6 months (that's as far back as the records went). He said he also talked to my co-workers about my "level of character" and my old boss. Based on everything he found out, he fired my old boss for falsifying company documents (my termination papers). In the end, since I met all the qualifications for my boss's job, the VP offered it to me. It comes with a five year contract instead of "at will" employment and even better, it's a 20% pay increase. Finally, to seal the deal, they gave me an $8,000 signing bonus. I've decided not to sue and I start again on Monday! FML Rescinded.

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Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

#11018444
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you deserved it (4782)

On 06/06/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by gixxergirl8787 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

gixxergirl8787's comment about their FML

heres the story behind the post for all you assholes who think im ugly or a bitch. really? anyway. my boyfriend of 5 years had gotten back the day before from 2 weeks in florida buying our new house. i had already left for a camping trip. He was to meet me down the next day. On his way down 'supposibly' his friend calls to tell me there has been a terrible accident and he was rushed to the hospital. My drunk ass freaks out drives an hour back home and rushes to the hospital. oh heyy.. guess what hes not there. I go to his house... and theres his car. The excuse was he didnt want to hurt my feelings by telling me he didnt want to camp in the first place... so he just lied. Its his birthday tommarrow and i will not be buying him a damn thing. there ya go :)

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Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

#9988186
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (11679)

On 04/19/2010 at 8:07am - misc - by Koubz (man) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Koubz's comment about their FML

Guys, I only posted this to make people laugh. My life does not suck, nor did that ruin my day at all.

Anyway i have allergies, and it was like 35 degrees celsius that day.

I DID have tissues on my desk (I think) but by instinct, when i don't have tissues i sneeze away from whoever i'm talking to (usually towards the ground or the opposite way)

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Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

#9442301
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61047) - you deserved it (7491)

On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)

drsyl54's comment about their FML

Just to answer a few questions... He's 18. I'm almost certain it was about the sex- I don't mind when I'm light, but at the start the cramps are unbearable, so no sex, not oral either. And he's just ignorant- he's actually a very intelligent person. This is the OP btw, not sure if the name will come up the same.

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Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

#9016142
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7302) - you deserved it (25210)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Romie1985's comment about their FML

I actually did look for my wallet, spent over 3 hours looking for it in all obvious places, tore my house apart, checked my clothing pockets several times. It wasn't in the pocket, it fell down the sleeve of my motorcycle jacket. You say I'm an idiot yet half you people can't even read. "Should of checked your pockets". It was down in the sleeve not in the pocket.

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Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22850) - you deserved it (5314)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

EpicUsername's comment about their FML

OP here, I had to create an account in order to comment. Anyways, I probably should have stated in the OP that I've only had my dog for 2 months, and upon receiving him, he was immediately signed up for obedience training. In fact, he graduated last Monday.

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Today, I found out that my mom is not only reading my mail, but she is also withholding letters from my bank, college, and insurance company. Why? Because "they could be inappropriate" for me to read. I'm 25. FML

#8942410
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24142) - you deserved it (2901)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by xele (man) - Poland (Katowice)

xele's comment about their FML

Oh yeah, I am from Poland and its very UNcommon to NOT live with your parents even at the age of 30 and having your own family. People here have family houses and we dont move out like ppl in US. Houses are passed down on younger generations who takes responsibility for it and their older parents at the same time.

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Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

#8886558
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (1581)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

crimson28's comment about their FML

It was my middle name, which wasn't programmed into his phone and isn't spelled a 100 different ways, at the most 4 different ways.

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Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

#8886558
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (1581)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

crimson28's comment about their FML

Like I said, he doesn't have any sort of disease, he was calling to make sure that the form he was sending in had my name on it the exact same why my license has my name, and he said, " ______ is spelled with one L?"

Also, he's not an idiot and is the best father anyone could ask for.
He just wasn't thinking and I was having a fairly crappy day in the first place. So it made it a bit more noticeable.

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Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

#8884162
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (9343)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Bruised (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Perpexel's comment about their FML

Holy crap! you guys came up with crazy ideas. The truck driver drove VERY close to me to scare me and then he honked his horn which made me jump and smack into the side of the truck. i was NOT raped or hit by the truck. hope that clears up some things

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Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

#8876563
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:21pm - love - by Living_Loving (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Living_Loving's comment about their FML

Hey OP here, my boyfriend is a full time University student who works three nights a week and is currently trying to pay off his $20,000 degree. Yes it was the first time I had met his mother, and obviously if she was home I wouldn't have stayed over if she didn't want me to. Give me some credit. And oath it was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. -.-

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Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

#8847652
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (1511)

On 03/05/2010 at 5:02pm - animals - by FsuesLife - United Kingdom (Essex)

FsuesLife's comment about their FML

yer, I'd like to confirm that its 'soccer' ball sized
my Mum knew i was allergic, but didnt realise it was that bad
to #28 the Kattery is outside, theres a flood, and cats cant swim...
to #17 the cats were kept on the ground floor of the house only, the cats seemed to swarm to my nice comfy bedroom, out of preference compared to the bathroom, the empty living room (re-decorating) and the locked laundry room

hope this clears up any confusion/fakery claims

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Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

#8846091
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1736)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by murphx3x (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

murphx3x's comment about their FML

hey im the one who did this post..
so to explain all of this,
i wasn't in pennsylvania at the time. thats just where i live now. my grandma lives in alaska. she lives in like a really isolated cabin area. it doesn't even have running water. she likes it out there. and 3 hours is a exageration. its actually two hours. yet again with my grandma's really beat up car and well, her slow driving, it takes us about 3 hours. and yes its safee for her to live out there by herself (and my grandpa) because they are both very very healthy. and not that old. she's a little over 50 and my grandpa is only 40 cause he just got married to her. and for everyone who's wondering, I WAS ASLEEEP. i woke up due to the terrible smell. my grandma made me stay in a serperate room and my plane ride was on monday morning and i had some trouble with the plane ride and getting through security. i had to put a huge plastic bag over it and lets just say, THANK YA FEBREEZE. but in the end, i came home and my first stop was the hospital. i hope everyone got a good kick out of it though. cause i didn't. not to mention cell phone service was real bad out there, and my mom made me stay to keep my grandparents company (she thinks its bad that they are so isolated.) oh and you have to go to the doctors to get the cast off. theres no way that smell is gonna get out. although i wish i had known about the vinegar trick before. and for anyone who doesn't have a cat, STFU. it smells like death. ughh it was prettty bad, and also thank the lord for nose plugs.

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