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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (6405)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

jesifairy's comment about their FML

:-D

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Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

#19456007
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Ameel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Ameel's comment about their FML

It's from the original series. Not one of the films. /nerd

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Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

#19442280
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (3254)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)

kayadd33's comment about their FML

She's 13 and perfectly normal in every other way...

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Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

#19441776
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3341)

On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Baustigt's comment about their FML

My bulldog is not a possessed monster, Red! I mean, sure, she has tried to gouge the netting from the trampoline and she likes to eat the eyes from stuffed animals and sometimes she'll crush the skulls of heretics and devour the life-fluid from...

Oh.

Okay, carry on.

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Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

#19429779
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (6388)

On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)

dcort's comment about their FML

Yes, but it wasn't strong enough to suck the spiders in, so instead they all got scared and ran out....

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Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

#19428896
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (2253)

On 04/08/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by psychoticbiatch - Australia (Western Australia)

psychoticbiatch's comment about their FML

No, it wasn't at either of our houses it was at my brothers house, so no, I'm the only 30yr old "thing" there

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Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

#19428414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (1879)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:55am - health - by GPemTGM (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

GPemTGM's comment about their FML

At #24. I know my grandfather better than anyone. He remembered me when he saw me and asked if my brother was my husband, I told him he wasn't and he smiled. Then later when I told him I was his grand-daughter, that's when he looked disappointed. I love him more than anything it broke my heart.

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Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

#19422966
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (6996)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by anniemeece (woman) - United States (California)

anniemeece's comment about their FML

Wow, I can't believe this actually got published! :O
Okay, most of the questions are how: it's a sports bra. I hooked it in the back, and as I was adjusting the front so that it, ahem, fully encompassed everything and that the straps weren't twisted, my hand slipped as I was pulling up the front, and with the power of the elastic, hit myself in the mouth.
I know, it was pretty silly.

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Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

#19420119
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2180)

On 04/06/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)

GothicAngel17's comment about their FML

That's why I drink tea instead, unfortunately coffee isn't something I can avoid all of the time D:

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Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

#19420119
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2180)

On 04/06/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)

GothicAngel17's comment about their FML

Seems like the best solution so far. I think I might actually try that when everything opens again.

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Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

#19416665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (2776)

On 04/06/2012 at 9:17am - animals - by rubberduckie94 (woman) - United States

rubberduckie94's comment about their FML

This is actually mine. I can not believe I finally got one published. : ). It's actually the third one we found in the house.

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Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (25462)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

darkestbarbie's comment about their FML

Who is to say that I am stupid? Just because I am young does not mean I am stupid. I am not a teen mom. I will take responsibility if I am pregnant. Not just pawn them off on someone else. It's people like you who piss me off.

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Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7127) - you deserved it (26888)

On 04/03/2012 at 7:11am - misc - by thatscreamerguy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

thatscreamerguy's comment about their FML

For anybody wondering, it was "Medieval 2 Total War" on very hard mode. I don't own a microphone, and don't play Call of Duty. Watching the Iberian peninsula falling to unstoppable Moorish hordes really tugs at the heartstrings though, y'know?

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