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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

#18170638
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (16036)

On 11/06/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

XxFA1LxX's comment about their FML

It was a deflection. It's not like I was stupid enough to purposely shoot on my own net.

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Today, I watched Change-Up with my dad. He made us leave half-way through the movie, because he thought I was too young to watch a movie this explicit. I'm 25. FML

#18167613
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2804)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by mimiani (woman) - Nigeria

mimiani's comment about their FML

I am a woman and it was really awkward watching it with my dad.

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Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

#18155533
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10667) - you deserved it (28813)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:32am - work - by psychteacher - United States (North Dakota)

sharkey131313131's comment about their FML

this is the original poster. yeah...i was having an off day. in my defense, normally there's a small little power button on the top of the projector and that's all i've ever needed to use. someone must have messed with it though, because evidently there's a bigger power button on the side, and that's the one i missed. i felt like an idiot :( and i'm a graduate school TA...

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Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

#18155186
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (2517)

On 11/04/2011 at 7:59am - health - by sakura_girl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

sakura_girl's comment about their FML

Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.

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Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

#18147886
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (5768)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by peonypiney (woman) - United States (Florida)

peonypiney's comment about their FML

This is my FML. YES, she is extremely blonde and believe it or not, a straight A student. I have never noticed she said it that way before until she had it written down. I've never caught it because we usually say "Book Bag". Her older brother finally convinced her through mockery and laughter.

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Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

#18130570
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:05pm - work - by 9726 - Canada (Ontario)

9726's comment about their FML

In Canada you need a gun licence to own firearms. To actually carry one you need to qualify annually with your company and they apply for your ATC (authorization to carry) I requalified in August and reminded my manager in September. He forgot to apply for my ATC. Nothing I could do to prevent this.

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Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

#18118715
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/31/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by Mister_Triangle - United States

Mister_Triangle's comment about their FML

Well I've been out of high school for over a year now and my other sister (who knew for some reason) let it slip while we were discussing valentines day.

I played it off like I already knew, but I secretly died a little inside.

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Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

#18075018
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (3575)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:02pm - health - by izzy54149 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

izzy54149's comment about their FML

I really can't buy my own detergent, I can't drive yet. I would walk to the store and buy it there, but all of the roads have no sidewalks and the cars don't stop. I do my own laundry, but have to use the soap, and when it gets on my hands it's like instant rash.

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Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

#18031231
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (4981)

On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States

BoopADoop's comment about their FML

It was only like two seconds later

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Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

#18012218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7875) - you deserved it (41689)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)

HMarchr's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here. Thanks to everyone who commented, even those who were less than courteous, but especially to those who weren't. What happened is that I, living at home while job hunting after graduating from college (with an engineering degree--I know, I had NO EXCUSE for this screw up! But I could tell#30 and #95 more than you care to know about motor oil and gasoline ) went to do a two-person job alone and left empty-handed. I never did mention it to my Dad. He'd never let me hear the end of it :-D Ironically, his Suburban could have towed my car, had he sprung for the towing package when he bought it, but alas, no. I didn't car-leapfrog because it was along the side of the highway and you're not supposed to run along there, and it was just more expedient to wait and get my Dad. I suppose I could have asked a friend to drive out and help me, but to anyone who suggests that, YDI too. #91, that sounds great, but I don't know of anyone in the area that offers that kind of service. #107, fifteen minutes driving is hardly the same as fifteen walking.

I'll check back here some time soonish, see what other gems of wit, consolation, and mockery you folks leave me. Cheers, everyone!

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Today, I went to a concert. I got into a fist fight with a drunk girl. My older brother tried to pull me away from her by holding both my arms back. I spent the last half of the concert in the hospital because I couldn't shield my face. FML

#18005874
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (7114)

On 10/17/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by alliegator_13 - United States

alliegator_13's comment about their FML

I'm a girl and yes my name is Allie. I tried to push him off of me but army dudes are tough. He was trained to fight and he still got his sister beat up. Haha. It's ok, I'll get even.

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Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

#17993103
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (17648)

On 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm - misc - by cristina_laila (woman) - United States (California)

cristina_laila's comment about their FML

I saw a man wearing a bike helmet, flailing his arms and following the little girls around. I kept jogging and saw a woman sitting on a park bench texting. She was completely out of site of the girls. I kindly asked her if she was their mother. When she replied 'yes', I told her that I saw a man talking to her daughters and that he looked like a weirdo...that's when she told me that the 'weirdo' was her disabled brother. I apologized to her and took off. I'm not a judgmental person; I was acting on my instincts as a woman to protect these young girls. Believe me, I'm mortified!!!

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