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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (24134)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:47am - misc - by MissDQ - Australia (Western Australia)

MissDQ's comment about their FML

I've been dying my hair since I was 14, so know what I'm doing. I just now live in a tiny house with a tiny bathroom and my hair is just shy of my butt.
I usually use a mirror to make sure I'm ok, but because of the length of my hair I have to do it upside down over the bathtub. It got on my arms while doing the main body of my hair, ears and forehead are a no brainier and I had a couple of spots drip down the gloves while I was doing the ends.
I managed to get it off my face thankfully because I had to go out in public. The box said to use a wet towel with shampoo on it when you rinse it out, which I did and it didn't seem to be working so I attacked my face with exfoliating gloves and it did the job. I've now got to work out how to scrub the purple off the vanity and in the bathtub. I do wipe it straight away but it stains right away too.
It's a super dark mahogany since I have to use 2 bottles. Looks blackish in the shade and red in the sun. Came out far better than I expected and I've never gone dark before so it's a nice change. Adds to the 'new me' thing I've got going.

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Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37340) - you deserved it (4853)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Fortunato_18 (woman) - United States

Fortunato_18's comment about their FML

Just a couple of points I wanna touch on:

1) the shag rug: haha not my choice! It came with my apartment, where the rug is one of the least awful things about it.

2) I know I should have had the nail polish out of reach, but we were planning on painting my daughters nails as soon as one of us got the chance. She's never done anything like that before so I didn't think to lock it up. We did have a chat about it though, and it hasn't been an issue since (this happened a few weeks ago)

3)Thank you for the removal tips! Hopefully I can find one that works :)

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Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60030) - you deserved it (5492)

On 12/01/2013 at 10:16am - love - by ali456 - United Kingdom (Dudley)

ali456's comment about their FML

For those who are saying what he did was 'quite fishy', I have to agree.
His excuse was, and I quote, "I only realised I had to pick you up half way through the journey, and there was no point turning back".
I'm currently not speaking to him, for pretty obvious reasons, and he's now staying at his parents house.
The reason I 'normally wouldn't have minded' is because if I wasn't pregnant, and if it wasn't raining, I easily could've caught the bus or walked home and sorted him out afterwards! He is also friends with his ex, and I've met her and spoken to her on quite casual terms before.
And for the people who called me a 'chump' and said that I 'shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place', thank you - I'll keep it in mind for next time!

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Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (5065)

On 11/30/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by MissDQ (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

MissDQ's comment about their FML

OP here.
Someone else pointed it out to the attendant that I'd been in there for a while and since I'm 'a kid' I MUST have been trying to steal something. The attendant just quietly asked if they could check my bags and stuff the same way they do if you leave the store without buying but have bags in your hands.
I'm not big, but I do have big boobs. Some clothes go on fine but when you go to take them off they won't go over them and you start to panic.
I'm a fairly standard size and I do often go one size up, but this was one of those sheer tops with the singlet underneath and those suckers don't stretch and it's hard for anyone to get them off if they're lucky enough to work out where their arms are supposed to go and can get the thing on. Heck, my mum is tiny and there's been plenty of times I've had to help her pull something over her head because she's stuck.
It's not normally a store I shop at but was out with my family which I haven't done in a long time as I lived away till recently and they had a great deal, so why not ? I'm not going to sue them, there's no point ? The store didn't accuse me, some asshole who can't mind their business did.
To top it off, I went through the self serve checkouts and the alarm went off as I walked out and the attendant pulled all the bras I bought out of the bag in the doorway to make sure they didn't have any of those big plastic security tags on them. I did have a DVD for another store in my bag and we put it down to that.

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Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (75609)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:35am - love - by Ashamed_Sister (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Ashamed_Sister's comment about their FML

He just asked me if he can have something to eat. When I finished the sandwich I realized the irony.

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Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (28535)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:22am - health - by Cian_1 (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Cian_1's comment about their FML

What else am I to call something that keeps saluting me? ;D

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Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (5083)

On 11/24/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by midnightsun1143 (woman) - United States (Texas)

midnightsun1143's comment about their FML

OP here! The ring had always been so tight that I couldn't get it off, but I guess loosing baby weight combined with the cold weather, my finger shrunk enough. I agree with commenters... I found it extremely odd that I didn't notice... Maybe a case of missing limb syndrome but with a ring? Anyhow, after spending a morning raking the leaves in freezing rain, I FOUND IT! An FML win! (Oh, and #55 sleet does freeze leaves when you live in Texas and the ground is warm enough to melt the sleet but the wind cold enough to re-freeze it. But we can compromise and say we are both right because it has been alternating between freezing rain and sleet for a little while now). WIN!

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Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47150) - you deserved it (2826)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:56pm - health - by lauren_crewd - United States (Alabama)

lauren_crewd's comment about their FML

This is the OP here, my parents are incredibly worried about me taking the medicine because two of my three brothers are recovering drug addicts. I was visiting a friend who called my brother to come pick me up because I kept falling asleep mid-conversation as a side-effect to the medication. My parents assumed I was abusing them because of their past experiences with my brothers. They're incredibly understanding about the pain, but they're just scared.

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Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (6601)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:48am - misc - by meesmees - United States (Maryland)

meesmees's comment about their FML

Though Ed, the homeless man, was actually very nice to talk to, I'd rather not be felt up

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Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by Thors_Hammer9999 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Thors_Hammer9999's comment about their FML

Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.

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Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53232) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/20/2013 at 3:05pm - work - by georgiaswish (woman) - United Kingdom

georgiaswish's comment about their FML

Just to clarify, when I say he 'cut the phone line', I don't mean he stopped paying (I pay for it myself), I mean he physically CUT the lines leading to my phone. And yes, I do have a mobile phone, but I can't use it too much or I'd get a massive bill at the end of it. And I've just started the process of legal action but, as my ex-boyfriend never tired of telling me, they're 'just a bit of paper'

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Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63492) - you deserved it (22728)

On 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by clodius (man) - United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire)

clodius's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here.
I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go.
Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily.
I didn't notice the huge bump because
1) I was shitfaced
2) She hid it extremely well.
Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad.
I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.

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