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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

#19645533
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (3715)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)

GothicAngel17's comment about their FML

57- well you seem to have quite a good memory, ha. I've gotta say I'm thankful that the morning sickness has subsided so I don't have to drop everything and run for the toilet or for fresh air (except on a Saturday for some reason). Now I'm just gassy it would seem. Oh joy. And forgetful. Speaking of which I just remembered I put eggs on the stove to boil a while ago and forgot about them so now I have to go D:

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Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML

#19645415
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (1476)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:02am - health - by lubey - United States (North Carolina)

lubey's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the positive comments :) to answer som questions: yes I'm recovering well. The surgery was to fix a deviated septum. The patient before me didn't immediately respond to the pain meds that's why he was screaming. And I wrote this fml last night at 2 am after the anesthesia wore off

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Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17144) - you deserved it (4422)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) -

Leadamp's comment about their FML

We where in Spain and I was reading a book by the pool.

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Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

#19610335
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (1801)

On 05/12/2012 at 2:41am - health - by lspicknall - United States (Wisconsin)

lspicknall's comment about their FML

Sorry darling! You really do just fall asleep then you wane up you're done! Just make sure to have ice packs and lots of cold soft foods

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Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

#19581043
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (2569)

On 05/06/2012 at 7:54am - misc - by geez_wth - United States (California)

kissandcontrol01's comment about their FML

This is the OP. I actually am in my 20s and had passed out after taking a muscle relaxer. Never slept so well in the last year or so.. Until.. I woke up cold and wet ????

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Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

#19579687
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (4311)

On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)

BTM13's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, this is OP. I just wanted to tell you all that your comments were really funny and I enjoyed reading them all. Thanks everyone for making me smile. :)

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Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

#19579687
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (4311)

On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)

BTM13's comment about their FML

Of course I did. Like shopping carts, keyboard help us out a lot in life and deserve to be recognized. XD

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Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (2380)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:38am - money - by Eragons_Mommy92 - United States

Eragons_Mommy92's comment about their FML

This is mine. we did call the cops. we have to prove its our tv so now we have to find the receipt from 2 years ago. her whole family is into illegal shit. her son got arrested recently for forging the mayors signature. we intend on moving as soon as we find an available apartment.

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Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

#19572337
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (5161)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:25am - health - by CharlieOrion (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

CharlieOrion's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!

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Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

#19570232
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (28909)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

anonymous4991's comment about their FML

From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.

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Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

#19546407
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (2376)

On 04/29/2012 at 6:10am - misc - by Tashie01 - Australia

Tashie01's comment about their FML

What i'd like to know is how he got pictures of me showering without me knowing. :/

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Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (2034)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

MissMae93's comment about their FML

To everyone saying I should have called in: unfortunately my work only provides about 3 sick days, which I used when I had my wisdom teeth removed. As for management, usually only one or two people are required to run the entire store (and of course, it was just me). They require much more notice and there was no one else available for the shift. Thank you to everyone with kind words and trust me, if I could have called in, I would have.

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Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

#19519234
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (4228)

On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)

GogoTheGreat's comment about their FML

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

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