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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

#19416665
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (2773)

On 04/06/2012 at 9:17am - animals - by rubberduckie94 (woman) - United States

rubberduckie94's comment about their FML

This is actually mine. I can not believe I finally got one published. : ). It's actually the third one we found in the house.

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Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (24916)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

darkestbarbie's comment about their FML

Who is to say that I am stupid? Just because I am young does not mean I am stupid. I am not a teen mom. I will take responsibility if I am pregnant. Not just pawn them off on someone else. It's people like you who piss me off.

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Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML

#19399944
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7120) - you deserved it (26826)

On 04/03/2012 at 7:11am - misc - by thatscreamerguy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

thatscreamerguy's comment about their FML

For anybody wondering, it was "Medieval 2 Total War" on very hard mode. I don't own a microphone, and don't play Call of Duty. Watching the Iberian peninsula falling to unstoppable Moorish hordes really tugs at the heartstrings though, y'know?

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Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

#19382758
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (6246)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

LiveLoveLys's comment about their FML

OP here. I love my boyfriend, but you wouldn't BELIEVE how lazy and unmotivated he is sometimes. I think his attitude of not giving a fuck goes back to how he's always been fed with a silver spoon and been given EVERYTHING in life. He feels as if he doesn't need to do anything, and that it's all up to everyone else. That goes for getting a job and earning money to pay the bills as well as stupid stuff like this. His attitude is "if they can figure it out, why should I care?" That doesn't make him a bad person, but it's hugely insensitive. I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people here talking crap about me are exactly the same as he is. That "your" vs "you're" thing bugs the hell out of me anyway and it's not like committing the difference to memory is a hard thing. Long rant done, thanks.

Edit: I didn't mean to reply to this comment. :S

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Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

#19373263
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (12653)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by scarletscarface (woman) - United States (California)

scarletscarface's comment about their FML

Well, when i removed the cover, I decided to try to get the pudding off all at one time. So part of it was in my mouth. When I slid it out, I did get all the pudding off, but also managed to cut my mouth :( I wont be making that mistake again...

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Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

#19362401
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12817) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/28/2012 at 7:19am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Baustigt's comment about their FML

You mean simply lie down in defeat and let the weeds destroy all that is good and green in this world? I spent all last year doing that. Today was a day for military action, and by God, there were casualties.

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Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

#19359606
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (1691)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by takhay (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

takhay's comment about their FML

I actually told a few people at the same time, and they all backed away simultaneously...

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Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

#19357141
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11239) - you deserved it (26843)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)

MattBC97's comment about their FML

DAMN IT now I got more Happy Birthday wishes on FML than my porn account... Shit.

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Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

#19353526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (2415)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:28pm - animals - by damselfly (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

damselfly's comment about their FML

OP here--had to get an FML account to comment.
To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?).

A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way.

@18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric.

@12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.

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Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

#19340961
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (34600)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:07pm - misc - by SHK519 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

SHK519's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm the OP.

For your information, my grammar was impeccable. The people correcting it were American readers "correcting" stuff such as "colour", "realise", and the usual suspects. As for calling the Pope a noob, it was joking. I was ranting about the Africa situation actually, and I said he's a noob to the real world if he thinks celibacy is going to fix it. Thanks for demonising me, though! Anyone who thinks I deserve to be threatened with eternal hellfire for writing my opinions is stupid. I've shut the thing down until I write more material, because people in general are fucking stupid.

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Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

retyi43's comment about their FML

they were nitrile gloves, not latex

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Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (4611)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Not_High's comment about their FML

For everyone wondering, there were multiple teachers who accused me. Then they proceeded to contact my parents on account of my 'strange behavior'

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Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

#19320067
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:03pm - animals - by GabisayzRAWR - United States (Missouri)

GabisayzRAWR's comment about their FML

Thank you :D we checked my dog and he was ok :)

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