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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I found out that just because you express mail something, it doesn't mean the post office won't still lose it. What did they lose? My signed marriage license. We spent all that time and money to get married on the day of our choosing, and our marriage isn't even valid. FML

#20009775
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24115) - you deserved it (2176)

On 08/08/2012 at 3:26pm - love - by mishkaroni (woman) - United States (California)

mishkaroni's comment about their FML

Thank you for your kind words. People don't understand that we did everything to get it there on time and backed it up with express mail which is overnight delivery to ensure or very important document was received on time. The sad thing is, those employed at the post office just don't care.

See all the comments including 12 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

#20008585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (1800)

On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)

MellyBee's comment about their FML

I'm happy to inform you #23 that the popsicles survived the accident, and many of them are already in my belly! ;-)

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Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

#19994470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (1859)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

mac_miller55's comment about their FML

I posted this and I am a girl

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Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

#19985337
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (13567)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm - health - by memphis201 - United States (Kentucky)

memphis201's comment about their FML

Just for clarification, I always wash my hands before I use a tampon, but in this case it was an emergency, if you get what I mean by that. I also didn't have the kind that uses an applicator available so I had to actually put my hands up there for the tampon to function properly.

See all the comments including 8 other original poster's reactions

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (33408)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Infiltrator4444's comment about their FML

I told my father that it's something all guys do at least once, and that he probably did too, to which he replied, "Son, I don't have enough to measure."

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Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

#19983521
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (2722)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Itstrickyyxx's comment about their FML

Hey guys. OP here. He's not a truck driver, he has a pretty damn good paying construction job. There ARE other jobs besides truck driving that require long times away!!
Also, it will be for at least 2 years :(

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

#19983521
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (2722)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Itstrickyyxx's comment about their FML

OP here again. Wow i haven't been on this site in forever. I can't even see him every month now, I see him every few months, and of course, ALWAYS ON MY PERIOD. That's life I suppose. And no I can't do birth control to EVERYONE who said it, all kinds effected me badly! :)

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Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

#19982662
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (52179)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)

xd3box's comment about their FML

I don't usually see people coming back to comment on their own FMLs, but I wanted to see what people had to say. 136, I don't make a habit of walking by smokers. I've just had a few too many family members diagnosed with lung cancer from what should be called a lethal drug. I wasn't trying to be condescending with my remarks. I was simply giving a harsh reality in a way that could possibly cause him
To put the cigarette down. To add on I'll ask a question to everyone: How angry would you be if you found out you had lung cancer or emphysema some second-hand smoke?

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Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

#19981850
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:25pm - misc - by Gremlinswife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Gremlinswife's comment about their FML

I charge them rent but also pay them to babysit. They have a pretty sweet deal. My Husband works out of province i'm essentially a single mother 2 week of each month and my youngest son has special needs. Laundry is very low on my list of things to do in my kids waking hours lol

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Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

#19981153
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/24/2012 at 6:26am - misc - by mightymart - Canada (Quebec)

mightymart's comment about their FML

I would have stayed awake if she would have called before, not like it happens often

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Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

#19957731
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24317) - you deserved it (2393)

On 07/19/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by alaskaintexas - United States (Texas)

alaskaintexas's comment about their FML

Her maid of honor is already married, and she's not getting married for the second time. I just married her brother. And btw, I'm planning her wedding with her mother, not her.

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Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6489) - you deserved it (42746)

On 07/16/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by AlbertEinstein_ (woman) - Ireland

AlbertEinstein_'s comment about their FML

This is my FML, i had to make an acc to comment!
I know, people, this was so incredibly stupid!! I have no idea why the hell I thought that would be a good idea, I think I wanted to check if there was salt in it before I left the kitchen (no idea how smelling it would clarify) so that I wouldn't have to get back up! I totally deserved this one, and I will surely never, ever do this again! My original FML had "And yes, it is possible to be this stupid" at the end, but that must've been edited out :( And I put the name Albert Einstein cause it was ironic or something, I don't know. But I certainly didn't think I was smart or anything....And my eyes still hurt :(

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Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

#19921865
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (2405)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:04am - kids - by rkbkate - United States (Alabama)

rkbkate's comment about their FML

This was my post thanks for all the comments guys Haha my brother has a rude awakening coming soon Haha and he is no longer able to touch my keys.

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