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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML

#19610335
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (1798)

On 05/12/2012 at 2:41am - health - by lspicknall - United States (Wisconsin)

lspicknall's comment about their FML

Sorry darling! You really do just fall asleep then you wane up you're done! Just make sure to have ice packs and lots of cold soft foods

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Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

#19581043
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21793) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/06/2012 at 7:54am - misc - by geez_wth - United States (California)

kissandcontrol01's comment about their FML

This is the OP. I actually am in my 20s and had passed out after taking a muscle relaxer. Never slept so well in the last year or so.. Until.. I woke up cold and wet ????

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Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

#19579687
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17674) - you deserved it (4211)

On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)

BTM13's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, this is OP. I just wanted to tell you all that your comments were really funny and I enjoyed reading them all. Thanks everyone for making me smile. :)

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Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

#19579687
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17674) - you deserved it (4211)

On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)

BTM13's comment about their FML

Of course I did. Like shopping carts, keyboard help us out a lot in life and deserve to be recognized. XD

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Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (2374)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:38am - money - by Eragons_Mommy92 - United States

Eragons_Mommy92's comment about their FML

This is mine. we did call the cops. we have to prove its our tv so now we have to find the receipt from 2 years ago. her whole family is into illegal shit. her son got arrested recently for forging the mayors signature. we intend on moving as soon as we find an available apartment.

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Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

#19572337
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (5154)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:25am - health - by CharlieOrion (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

CharlieOrion's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!

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Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

#19570232
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (28856)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

anonymous4991's comment about their FML

From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.

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Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

#19546407
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/29/2012 at 6:10am - misc - by Tashie01 - Australia

Tashie01's comment about their FML

What i'd like to know is how he got pictures of me showering without me knowing. :/

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Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (2029)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

MissMae93's comment about their FML

To everyone saying I should have called in: unfortunately my work only provides about 3 sick days, which I used when I had my wisdom teeth removed. As for management, usually only one or two people are required to run the entire store (and of course, it was just me). They require much more notice and there was no one else available for the shift. Thank you to everyone with kind words and trust me, if I could have called in, I would have.

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Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

#19519234
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (4126)

On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)

GogoTheGreat's comment about their FML

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

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Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

#19510205
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Capteen's comment about their FML

OP here! I definitely have a new mattress, and the frames been well cleaned as it was in storage for a while. To the people saying get over it - I'm not upset or creeped out too much, I just thought it was FML worthy.

And no, I have no intention of 'repeating the cycle' to my children as such - I need to finish my studies before even considering children!

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Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15775) - you deserved it (3425)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

metalwolf's comment about their FML

The problem isn't really organizing my time. Ideally I would like to get to sleep right when I get home and wake up in the early afternoon, but usually I fall asleep in the afternoon and wake up just a bit before I need to go to work again. Speaking of, I should be asleep right now.

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Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

#19494402
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (1811)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)

MI3's comment about their FML

Hey OP here to clarify because FML doesn't let you make long posts. I'm not calling him a racist at all. I'd call him stubborn. There are studies that show lactose intolerance is more prevalent among African Americans. What upset me was that when I tried to explain to him that 75% is not everybody he didn't believe me. The only reason he half believes me now is because he's convinced himself I'm mixed. Well, that's it. Have a nice day everyone!

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