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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

#19572337
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5087)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:25am - health - by CharlieOrion (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

CharlieOrion's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm OP- and I'm really not that fat! I've just gained weight quickly, cause I'm stressed about exams... This didn't really help much!

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Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

#19570232
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9888) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

anonymous4991's comment about their FML

From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.

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Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

#19546407
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/29/2012 at 6:10am - misc - by Tashie01 - Australia

Tashie01's comment about their FML

What i'd like to know is how he got pictures of me showering without me knowing. :/

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Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (2027)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

MissMae93's comment about their FML

To everyone saying I should have called in: unfortunately my work only provides about 3 sick days, which I used when I had my wisdom teeth removed. As for management, usually only one or two people are required to run the entire store (and of course, it was just me). They require much more notice and there was no one else available for the shift. Thank you to everyone with kind words and trust me, if I could have called in, I would have.

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Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

#19519234
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (4122)

On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)

GogoTheGreat's comment about their FML

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

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Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

#19510205
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (3202)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Capteen's comment about their FML

OP here! I definitely have a new mattress, and the frames been well cleaned as it was in storage for a while. To the people saying get over it - I'm not upset or creeped out too much, I just thought it was FML worthy.

And no, I have no intention of 'repeating the cycle' to my children as such - I need to finish my studies before even considering children!

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Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15512) - you deserved it (3400)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

metalwolf's comment about their FML

The problem isn't really organizing my time. Ideally I would like to get to sleep right when I get home and wake up in the early afternoon, but usually I fall asleep in the afternoon and wake up just a bit before I need to go to work again. Speaking of, I should be asleep right now.

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Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

#19494402
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (1811)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)

MI3's comment about their FML

Hey OP here to clarify because FML doesn't let you make long posts. I'm not calling him a racist at all. I'd call him stubborn. There are studies that show lactose intolerance is more prevalent among African Americans. What upset me was that when I tried to explain to him that 75% is not everybody he didn't believe me. The only reason he half believes me now is because he's convinced himself I'm mixed. Well, that's it. Have a nice day everyone!

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Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

#19491835
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (1993)

On 04/18/2012 at 7:51pm - work - by mitchell904 - United Kingdom (Newport)

mitchell904's comment about their FML

I will definitely be fighting it! There's no way I'll pay it. The reason I got the fine is because the car park management is outsourced to another company, and they've just switched to an automated system which identifies the registration number of the cars when entering and leaving. Whilst I have a little permit sticker on my windscreen - which has been fine for the past 2 years - the system doesn't see it. Needless to say I'll be going in to speak to someone today... And walking.

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Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

#19489790
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (3341)

On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)

caitlinz5's comment about their FML

You're a terrible advertisement for the bi community then. I'm upset because he hasn't got any romantic feelings for me and my love for him has always been unrequited. Don't you call ME a rude bitch. I've got NOTHING against gay and bi folks and neither do lots of people commenting. Sad to say they might get a bad impression of them with people like you attacking people for no reason.

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Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20269) - you deserved it (6392)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

jesifairy's comment about their FML

:-D

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