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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

#19359606
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (1689)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by takhay (man) - Japan (Tokyo)

takhay's comment about their FML

I actually told a few people at the same time, and they all backed away simultaneously...

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Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

#19357141
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (26775)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by MattBC97 - United States (Illinois)

MattBC97's comment about their FML

DAMN IT now I got more Happy Birthday wishes on FML than my porn account... Shit.

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Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

#19353526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (2407)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:28pm - animals - by damselfly (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

damselfly's comment about their FML

OP here--had to get an FML account to comment.
To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?).

A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way.

@18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric.

@12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.

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Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

#19340961
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8008) - you deserved it (34487)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:07pm - misc - by SHK519 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

SHK519's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm the OP.

For your information, my grammar was impeccable. The people correcting it were American readers "correcting" stuff such as "colour", "realise", and the usual suspects. As for calling the Pope a noob, it was joking. I was ranting about the Africa situation actually, and I said he's a noob to the real world if he thinks celibacy is going to fix it. Thanks for demonising me, though! Anyone who thinks I deserve to be threatened with eternal hellfire for writing my opinions is stupid. I've shut the thing down until I write more material, because people in general are fucking stupid.

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Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

retyi43's comment about their FML

they were nitrile gloves, not latex

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Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (4600)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Not_High's comment about their FML

For everyone wondering, there were multiple teachers who accused me. Then they proceeded to contact my parents on account of my 'strange behavior'

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Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

#19320067
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (2291)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:03pm - animals - by GabisayzRAWR - United States (Missouri)

GabisayzRAWR's comment about their FML

Thank you :D we checked my dog and he was ok :)

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Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

#19307699
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (1929)

On 03/19/2012 at 3:20pm - health - by Shleebs (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Shleebs's comment about their FML

I actually threw up in her room and in her bathroom. She had to clean it up. I think justice was served.

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Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

#19298369
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (2749)

On 03/18/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by jamboooy (man) - United States (California)

jamboooy's comment about their FML

My old friends brother.

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Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

#19283430
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (9211)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:44pm - love - by W45T3D_Y0UTH (woman) - Canada

W45T3D_Y0UTH's comment about their FML

Nothing that makes me look like a prostitute. Makes one wonder how one could get mistaken for one at noon. In front of a cop car, no less.

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (2099)

On 03/15/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Teh_dw33bin4tor (man) - Australia

Teh_dw33bin4tor's comment about their FML

Hey, I am kind of astounded this made the front page, but I also realized that I wasn't logged in when I created and submitted this.

I'm the OP. I should have phrased this better, but I was running out of room to create the FML. The actual story is that she flat-out broke up with me, and then went around and told all my friends, which happen to also be her friends too, that it was a mutual break-up, but it was my decision for the most part that split us apart, which effectively framed me as the "bad-guy". When I confronted her on it, she first denied telling her (our) friends this, then changed her story to "she couldn't think of what to say". All this while her new "boyfriend" (of 1 day) was helping her move out of my apartment.

Sorry for the confusion in the phrasing.

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Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

#19270951
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (3370)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm - work - by lovefortoday (woman) - United States (Indiana)

lovefortoday's comment about their FML

It was the one on my left wrist of a butterfly and flowers. The other one is a dolphin and flowers. I was unaware that butterflies and dolphins where evil. They were for my Mom and Step-Mom.

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Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (2249)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:12pm - money - by bowser_rawr16 (woman) - Canada

bowser_rawr16's comment about their FML

OP here. Thanks lol. That's actually exactly what I was doing. I'm only 21, and I work in a very professional office, and I always need to look my best. I can't afford new shoes at the time, so that's why I sharpied them.

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