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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

#20052545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by merissa22 - United States (Illinois)

merissa22's comment about their FML

nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help

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Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (1504)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

iliveintexas's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, in case you're wondering, I have NOT sprayed the nests yet (my dad has informed me there are around 10 nests), but I will be sure to record it, because I am an idiot.

PS: Thank you all for the helpful comments, I am aware that I should wear long pants and a long shirt. However (for my favorite comment), in Texas, it is hard to find a cheap steel-forged suit of armor, as well as to craft one.

More soon, David (iliveintexas, and author of this FML)

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Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

#20050167
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (5293)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)

Geckosrock99's comment about their FML

OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.)

The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good.

I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.

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Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

#20047374
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (1679)

On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

SuzyTurquoiseBlu's comment about their FML

Well, they aren't really liked in the family and I think that its both really rude and sad of them to try and piggy-back their special occasions with mine.
My sister in-law and her fiancee got engaged in the waiting room while I was in ACTIVE labour with my daughter and got pissed off that everyone wasn't falling over themselves to congratulate them.

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Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

#20045602
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (1794)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

calivianya's comment about their FML

Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!

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Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

#20040473
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21747) - you deserved it (2668)

On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

coolcocoxxx's comment about their FML

For anyone wondering, he didn't get the cookies. And it was before he started flirting with me... His birthday was coming up soo

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Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

#20036992
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6297) - you deserved it (27457)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:54am - money - by chrisbravo - United States

chrisbravo's comment about their FML

OP replies:

It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

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Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

#20033420
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18791) - you deserved it (1165)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - misc - by ByronJess - United States

ByronJess's comment about their FML

Thank you, DocBastard.

Also, I'm not one of those crazy Americans portrayed on television who feels the need to sue for everything.

First off, maintenance is admitting the fixed something wrong.

Second, I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life too.

Third, I'd rather not put the apartment complex whet I live in any financial turmoil, I like it here and I need a place to live.

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Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

#20027534
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58410) - you deserved it (3034)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)

Just_Me_88's comment about their FML

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex.

Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol)

My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.

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Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

#20025586
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (6693)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)

SquishFish's comment about their FML

Haha I'm OP. Well our door is solid so i couldn't see him. He was supposed to be there soon, so naturally I thought it was him. The mailman looked flustered for a moment (he was an awesome old guy) and then he smiled saying "Wow someone is excited about getting the mail!"

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Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

#20022484
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20171) - you deserved it (3204)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by larSON5 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

larSON5's comment about their FML

No none. The boring fact is they're just friends, we have a coffee after work now and then, and sometimes go to the bars for a few drinks. My girlfriend usually comes along, but when she doesn't because she's busy, and I still go anyway, it's like WW2.

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Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughingstock of my social circle. FML

#20020640
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12417) - you deserved it (21183)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by luvonsarah - United States (Oregon)

luvonsarah's comment about their FML

Hey there! I am the OP. A few things I'd like to address:

I was only visiting my parents. I do have my own place. I stayed out a little later than I thought I would and they got worried.

The bar (in which we were drinking) is in the same parking lot as Safeway. We stepped out to grab some vitamin water and smoke a cigarette.

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Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

#20016806
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16732) - you deserved it (2931)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by jfc519 (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

jfc519's comment about their FML

Software development company. Not gonna put the name out there though, cause I like having a job. I got into this job expecting peace and quiet all day, but I quickly found out the bosses don't give a shit, and people can get away with anything but murder if they kiss enough arse afterward. You could pop round to HR to complain about pretty much anything, and they'd still tell you to get fucked. Sometimes I wonder if they even do anything beside play tetris all day. :|

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