Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7475) - you deserved it (24568)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

keighty's comment about their FML

This is my post. I agree with most of you. Total dumbass thing. I admit it. It didn't ruin my computer, just made my keys sticky for awhile and there are permanent smear marks on my screen.

I did turn my head, ended up sneezing into my arm but it splashed down onto my computer. There just wasn't enough space to explain it.

I decided to pay it before i spit cause i was trying to save time and only had to press a couple of buttons. Made sense at the time. Seemed like a waste to just stand there for 30 seconds and do nothing. Lesson learned.

I had to pay it before I left for work because it was due that day by 3 and by the time i got home it would have been too late.

Carry on the mocking :)

See all the comments including another original poster's reaction

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (3674)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:00am - animals - by km0064 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

km0064's comment about their FML

Okay, so I'm the 1 who wrote this FML, and i would just like to inform everyone that 1.) yes, i do own a dog..3 actually, so i can complete the food chain. 2.) this is not cat decapatates animals and leaves the body parts laying around outside, 3.) I have more hamsters :) and 4.) The hamster that was killed was previously being attacked by my other hamsters, so i had to seperate him from the rest and put him in a bucket until we got a new cage. so he was in the bathroom, in a bucket with the door closed. then some dumb ass kid opened the door and took out the hamster and it got away.

See all the comments

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (2156)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

skittlesftw's comment about their FML

I'm the op (just made an account)
I bought the car with my money, and since they drove the car as well they paid for some maintance and insurance. They decided to sell the car without talking to me first, but said that I would be able to drive the new car they were going to buy.
Turns out the insurance would be too expensve with me on it, hence the FML.
Not all bad though, they feel guilty so they are sorting me out with a car once i finish uni. (only just found this bit out)

See all the comments

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8562) - you deserved it (23005)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)

lendahandmanda's comment about their FML

Not only was he a pretty muscular guy, but his arms were pinning mine down to a point, and i had no leverage laying in the position I was in. To those of you saying I should have just waited til he woke up, he was sort of choking me, his head was under my chin pressed against my neck, and I felt like I was being suffocated, and his body on top of mine was making it difficult for me to breathe. It might have just been anxiety though. I probably could have stuck through it.

See all the comments including 10 other original poster's reactions

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)

ughno's comment about their FML

wow this has just turned into a bug argument over who's state it better hahaha

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (3196)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

L0lCney's comment about their FML

He accidently pushed me, its not like he ment to do it.
I hugged him, my leg was caught behind the arm rest on my chair, And I fell onto the arm rest, & hit my head on the wall, HARD.
He grabbed my head saying sorry, then pushed me onto the couch & "fake raped" me cause all my friends were laughing. I think he was just trying to make the situation better, it didn't though. At all. I haven't talked to him since. :/

See all the comments

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15072) - you deserved it (9569)

On 02/16/2010 at 4:16pm - work - by sacredsilence29 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

sacredsilence29's comment about their FML

LOL. WoW. It's amazing how much peoples opinions change. Let's see to anwser a few remarks. No I didnt get fired, the car is getting fixed and paid for so the customer pays nothing, and when I told him he asked me to have them touch up all the other spots while they had the paint mixed. The snow bank was only a few inches so it wasnt like I was trying to drive up a mountain with an M5 and telling him that I did it was the respectful thing to do, thanks. That's part of my job is moving cars around and when it snows shit happens! That's what insurance is for....

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:32am - kids - by Mers (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Mers's comment about their FML

Well, after my parents got married, my dad's dad convinced my dad that my mom was a gold digger and so they divorced when I was one year old and had my brothers three years later. They've lived together the past 16 years as a divorced couple and have fought constantly. My dad forced my mom to go thousands of dollars into debt because he wouldn't give her any money for a year. During that time my mom couldn't get a job anywhere and she had to buy groceries for us three and her two kids from before the failed marriage. My brothers and I live with my mom now and it's much better without him trying to control us.

See all the comments including 5 other original poster's reactions

Today, I was going out to my car with my sister's birthday present. I slipped on some ice and the present fell to the ground. I spent an hour wrapping it. I could hear the present break. I had gotten her $200 wine glasses. I then had to run to the nearest store and get her a CD instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (2939)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by GymnasticsQueen (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

GymnasticsQueen's comment about their FML

Ok, first of all you don't know me so you have no right to criticize me. You don't know how much pain I am in. I twisted my wrist when I fell. I am really good at gymnastics so don't say ANYTHING about that, but now I can't go to practice until my wrist is better. I was putting her present in the passenger seat, I wouldn't get out on the passenger side if I was driving so I had no way to know there was ice there. I'm not rich and neither is the rest of my family. My sister has been wanting these wine glasses since the Christmas of 2008. I couldn't find them anywhere. I have money set aside for gifts and things like that so I don't have to worry about making sure I have enough money; I have been setting money aside like that since I was 16.

See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36948) - you deserved it (17584)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm - money - by Vastu (man) - Nepal

Vastu's comment about their FML

well. the maid cant pay because we give her 15$ PER month. and we cant deduct it because... IN rural places of Nepal , where my servant comes from, one family consists of 9/10 sons or daughters .. so that 15$ directly goes to her HUGE family.

See all the comments including 11 other original poster's reactions

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15644) - you deserved it (30205)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:20am - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

mf09's comment about their FML

I happen to be the OP and to the folks who think I am mean because I didn't let him go to the scouting event: it is a SPECIAL event. He's not out of scouts. He just needed a really serious wake up call. To the folks who think I am mean because I punished him for being a smart ass: The reality is this was a compound offense. He got into trouble for not doing what I asked and got a minor punishment (chores). He got mouthy about the chores and lost his special event. To the folks who think I need to paddle him more: you may be right but he's getting too old for that. To the folks who think I shouldn't let him throw the tantrum: Awesome idea, beyond smacking him as suggested and grounding him as done, what's the methodology for that? He stayed in his room to howl and holler. I ignored it and posted my FML. Special event at school next week will be cancelled too if he keeps it up. Love my boy. Tough love today.

See all the comments

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (2005)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm - misc - by mollymaykitty - Sent from mobile version

mollymaykitty's comment about their FML

I've had this ulcer for over a two months. I randomly get sick from it when food has too much spices on it. The lunch today was spicy though you couldn't see the spices on the outside. I took one bite of it, threw the rest away, and within a few hours I got sick.

See all the comments including 4 other original poster's reactions

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you deserved it (1973)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:49am - money - by dani1104 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

dani1104's comment about their FML

So I'm not lying. The window repairman came today (after I paid $130) and said that some spring or something in the window frame was worn out. Boston had some very strong winds the day the window fell out, which pushed it out of the frame. I was on the floor doing a puzzle of Fenway Park if you needed to know.

See all the comments

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: