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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/15/2009 at 5:45pm - misc - by jellyfish_ftw (woman) - United States (Illinois)

jellyfish_ftw's comment about their FML

OP, replying.
this is my big explanation, so pay attention.
the whole situation came about because my boyfriend was trying to keep the breakup friendly since they had a kid together, and he wants to stay in his daughter's life. therefore, he hadn't really made a fuss about making her give back everything of his/take everything of hers. this was also because he didn't fully realize how crazy she was.
the ex hated my guts already and we all knew it, and she had made threats to my boyfriend saying things like, "she'd better hope she doesn't come across me anywhere, or i'll kick her ass."
the morning of the incident, he had left early for work 45 minutes away, leaving me to sleep in. his ex called him at work telling him she needed to get something from the apartment, which he usually leaves unlocked because we live in a small town. he told her it was locked and that i was there and he didn't want her going over there......which made her insanely angry, obviously. she came over with her old key and her sister (in the sister's van) and started flipping shit.
i was asleep, and i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm extremely disoriented and out of it when i first wake up. so all i could really do was stare blearily at her while she yelled and tore blankets off. when she grabbed the bed, i woke up enough to get out of it.
she took off with the bed, which was a double-size box-spring and mattress, and dragged it to her sister's van which was waiting outside, and they drove off.
when my boyfriend came home and found out the situation, he bitched her out and told her he would do something about it if she ever came in without asking/him being there again.
there you go, FML. full story.

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Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (17951)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

RoadGoesOn4Ever's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. I originally moved away from him to finish my degree/get my Masters. We've been on and off because he runs private security for the government and spends the majority of his time overseas. I signed a 13 month lease because I wanted to live in a house and I have two big dogs. He was all for me moving out here.

Long story short, IMO: the situation blows, we're over and done with, and I have an awesome new house/job in Vegas.

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Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (5773)

On 12/11/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by CrapFeet (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

CrapFeet's comment about their FML

OP here. Well of course I cleaned it up before typing, any idiot would do that. FYI, yes I did deserve it because I would normally remove all personal belongings before leaving but for this once, I left my shirt on the hook behind the door because I was rushing for time and I just showered so I needed time to fix my hair, wear my contacts etc before leaving and I simply forgot to take it :(

The stench wasn't there, no idea why. Need details? lol ok, maybe because the outer part of the turd hardened, leaving the inner part slightly soft and moist, thus 'locking' the smell in perhaps? And yes, I did clean the friggin wall..the bathroom was shared between me and two other girls. I know the girls won't clean it, so...

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Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (4362)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Inner5YearOld (woman) - United States (New York)

inner5yearold's comment about their FML

all the people saying that we were doing drugs or other illegal activities, we werent. we were just college students who had a lot of stress, and wanted to relax by acting like five year olds in the park, swinging on swings, playing on the see-saw, going down slides, monkey bars etcetera. we did not know the park closed after dark, there were no signs by the entrances, and there were no gates. anyone can walk in there at any time of day, and they would not know. the weathered sign, we found it the next day, and it was at the back of the park, no where near any lights or anything. we were just chilling there because we didnt want to go back to our rooms because of annoying roommates. there was even an overhead light shining into the park, giving the impression that it was open after dark. the police didnt even ask if we were doing anything illegal, or asked to see what was in our pockets or anything. two of us didnt even have any ID because we didnt want to lose it on the swings. new ro police are entirely retarded. period.

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Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:30am - money - by solarecliptic (man) - United States (Virginia)

solarecliptic's comment about their FML

We are to notify the secretary of extended leave of absence - not the boss. The day or two after I made this post, the Boss gave me my old job back. Thankfully the new guy hadn't actually started working yet - so he was apologized to and did not start working. My boss hasn't filled his secretary position and I don't think he intends to. The company gave me a 10k/yr raise due to the circumstances.

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Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

flying_vegan's comment about their FML

This was in Hoxton, in London...

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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:21pm - love - by silverlocket (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

silverlocket's comment about their FML

Yikes guys! ... in reply to some of you.. A proposal I was expecting cause we've been together for oh well.. just 2 and a half little years and he had only mentioned it like 250 times in the past 5 months.. so yes, I was expecting it at any moment!
The ring was indeed beautiful - not a family heirloom - and it was expensive.. I actually would have preferred a plastic ring that girls use to play barbie as long as it was OURS and not.. recycled..
But in the end, taking it to a jewelers and having it turned into a charm for a necklace wasn't that bad..

No we aren't together, and of course, he hid his relationship with this.. ex.. very very well for two whole years .. funny part ? she was engaged living with someone else as well!
Oh well, one moves on :)

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Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6453) - you deserved it (35590)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by MitchellSully (man) - United States (Oregon)

MitchellSully's comment about their FML

You can't return allot of climbing equipment, it's against safety regulations because the gear is so fine tuned to make sure that it can hold even 8000lbs. The only gear that I had bought that I could return was the shoes and the chalk bag, but I still couldn't do that because I filled the bag with chalk and wore the shoes already. I didn't find my gear until I was done climbing for the night.

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Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/01/2009 at 3:22am - love - by loveletterbullcrap09 (woman) - United States

Phoenix0614's comment about their FML

I'm the one who wrote this FML. I was organizing the drawer because I was trying to find our passports. I confronted him, and he admitted to TWO affairs. A few months ago, when I got sick out of town and had emergency surgery (acute cholecystectomy), I was stuck there almost 2 weeks. He never visited me once, because of "work", even though it's less than 3 hours away. I looked at our bank account--day of my surgery, he was buying sushi for two, and then breakfast the next morning. Oh yeah, he also bought a trip for two to Vegas over Xmas break. A week ago, he told me, via text message, he filed for divorce. So yeah, FML, several times over.

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Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (3942)

On 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm - kids - by w0rstdayever - United States (New York)

w0rstdayever's comment about their FML

OK, maybe it wasn't terrible. Except for the fact that this is what the site is for. It still sucks even if my life isn't fucked to shit.

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Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (32814)

On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)

TinyDancer22's comment about their FML

Yes I have a towel in my car. I bring my dog to the beach all the time and use towels to cover the seats.

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Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (3820)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

OpenWide's comment about their FML

I actually laughed at the time. Probably because I didn't know what to say. I can take a joke so I went out with him a few more times but the forwardness continued so I ended it... And he never got to find out just how big my mouth really is

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Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (5909)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States

OnlyIfYouLoveMe's comment about their FML

thanx guys! 8D he is a jerk, glad you agree. And to RyeBreadBoy, I do have smart views on politics ( wow that sentence does not sound right, oh well). I'm just as smart as you, and I have intellegent ideas.

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