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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Truan's comment about their FML

OP here

I'll clear a few things. First off, no I'm not that dude who got a comment from his girl's grandfather. Although that would be great, it's not me.
Second...as for our inability to do it...well I didn't have a clear view. and I couldn't get a good grip on the ball because I fingerbanged her prior, so my hand was...well you get it
her hands were lubed up, so same problem. I couldn't see them well enough to unhook them, and she couldn't do a damn thing with them either. It took about 5 minutes before we decided to call anyone.
My brother and dad weren't in the house, and obviously if I called a friend, my mom would have to show them in

I got the tongue ring for my 18th birthday (2 weeks ago), so obviously moving out isn't going to be an instant thing.

Oh and my mom's a nurse, so she just looked at us both staring at her awkwardly, laughed, and undid it.
We haven't spoke about it since.

Honestly, I think it's pretty funny. What's really funny is those of you idiots who don't understand the exhilaration of a piercing.

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Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

#570917
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60353) - you deserved it (14705)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Kuu (man) - United States (Florida)

KuuKuso's comment about their FML

Original poster here. Just wanted to clear up a few things:

I'm really not upset about it. It kind of got to me when it happened but I got over it pretty quickly. The only thing that upset me was the fact that I told him that if he wasn't interested, I'd still like to be friends and he completely disregarded that. Ultimately, I just wanted to make my first FML, lol.

#17, #18 - He had already seen two of my pictures, but a 3rd one was slightly more revealing, and that was what did me in!

#13 - Ouch! That must have been AWKWARD to say the least. :/

#12 and #15 - I don't mind if you think that way. It's a free country, we're entitled to our opinions, after all. But you know what they say... usually the loudest homophobes are closet cases themselves! ;)

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Today, I was going to a concert. I left my wallet at home because I was afraid it would get stolen, or lost or something. After an awesome night, I came back home to find that my house had been broken into, and every dollar that was in my wallet got stolen. FML

#570186
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75804) - you deserved it (6426)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Mkester - United States (California)

Mkester's comment about their FML

To clarify, they went through pretty much every drawer in the house, so I would have had to lock it in a safe or something, I suppose.

And, it was Metallica :P

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Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (151471)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)

Mason_Jayson's comment about their FML

This is my FML. In my UNDESERVED defense...I do have a little OCD, I work in healthcare and automatically want to help when I see something like that, and there may have been a few beers involved. I'm not a pervert and have never done anything like that before (and you had better believe since). And for those who are curious: the mole was on her shoulder and the hair I touched was down by her shoulderbladeish area. This sucker was LONG.

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Today, I started Lifeguard Training and we had the fitness test you had to pass to continue. I work out everyday and I start on our football team. It's spring break and i've worked everyday (construction). I'm fit. Time comes to take the test, I finished last, beat by a 44 year old woman. FML

#502383
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49468) - you deserved it (16022)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by bron92 - United States (Texas)

bron92's comment about their FML

Thanks everyone, haters and all. Let me clear some things up for yall.
1) i did pass, but when i was out of the pool i was GASSED
2) the woman was in pretty damn good shape. I didnt mean to be sexist or ageist.
3) my football team was 11-2. The Ennis Lions, if you wanna check im #64. We were 1 game short of state (loss to rockwall heath)
4) Im not the typical "athlete". I had a pink mohawk in the summer, I listen to no rap and all alternative, I HAVE PINK AND BLACK VANS FOR GODS SAKE.
5) This will surprise you. I'm 6'2 and 230lbs (6% body fat). An offensive lineman, thats why i had some problems.

I didn't mean to come off as a jerk, or a "dumb jock",and I actually did somewhat prepare for this test. I had a friend who is a lifeguard teach me and have me swim but I guess it wasn't enough. And, yes, I RESPECT ALL YOU SWIMMERS NOW! haha I learned the hard way

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Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

#460898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69795) - you deserved it (3471)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by GracelandDave (man) - United States (California)

GracelandDave's comment about their FML

Okay, just made my profile. One of you asked what my degree will be in. Right now I'm working on a B.S. in Animal Science and will be trying to get my DVM after that. Also, my brother is a male model and has done a lot of work, but tried college for 1 year. All of you who think this is fake, it WAS exaggerated but what he truthfully said was insinuating that my brother is successful and I am a waste of air until I get my degree. My dad isn't an asshole, but my brother does seem to be his golden child. Honestly, I am not bothered by the comment my dad made, I just found it to be funny when he said it. It is true that male models and Chippendales dancers can make a TON of money, but my brother is not at that level exactly. He is doing a stage production of Chippendales (www.herecometheboys.com). I'm very proud of him, and as for the ladies wanting his number, I'm sorry, he's married. Thanks for the remorse, the empathy, and the doubt. This site is fun, right?!

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Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

#433810
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78601) - you deserved it (9808)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)

lemonjuice's comment about their FML

There are very few Chinese restaurant areas, this was definitely the best for your dollar. Yeah I did try to explain myself but the manager as well as her mother and son came out to yell at me. I just couldn't deal with that while I had a migraine, I shouldn't have been there anyways, MSG often gives me migraines, so FML again.

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Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (65342)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Jaeda's comment about their FML

I'm twenty years old, and my boss never leaves me enough work, but I'm expected to stay a full day so that I can answer the phones during all business hours. Sometimes my days are very slow, so I have to entertain myself. Don't hate on me and my goofiness because you're square. :)

I forgot about the mustache because it was small and had been there for a good 3 hours when he showed up. And yes.. I had met him before and I will see him again. We're going to be doing some building for the nearby base. I work for a construction company.

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Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

#280969
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8877) - you deserved it (67527)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by xnj319 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

xnj319's comment about their FML

There aren't enough words allotted to tell a complete story...

My sinuses are fucked in the morning, I can't smell anything until I go blow my nose.

It was the neighbour's house across the street, which I can't see from my bedroom.

And no, I heard no sirens. I live in a bad neighbourhood and have gotten used to sirens all night long, to the point where they no longer wake me.

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Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

#263431
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54506) - you deserved it (10630)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by fannylovesfelix (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

fannylovesfelix's comment about their FML

Hiii...

My bathroom is insanely tiny. Think airplane bathroom small; I can lean over from the toilet to reach the sink/trash can, so...I was leaning over from the toilet. Fail, I know. Lesson learned. Also, my door doesn't completely shut so he can pry it open. Ehh, or he cries and well...I feel bad. I've given up on keeping him out. :\

On a lighter note, it doesn't hurt anymore. Also, he's cute enough that I forgive him. :)

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Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML

#250644
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (47661)

On 03/09/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by DumbDinosaur (woman) - United States (New York)

DumbDinosaur's comment about their FML

The machine was in my dorm building and was your generic industrial washer - no OFF switch, no fancy doors, etc. Once the cycle's on, it's on for the duration. Since it was linked up to 9 other machines, had I pulled the plug, I would've not only flooded out the laundry room but would have had 9 very unhappy residents on my back..heh. Oh, and never mind the happy ending - the iPod never bounced back to life. Serves me right, I guess.

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Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

#240748
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67005) - you deserved it (7932)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:14am - intimacy - by JP (man) - United States (Louisiana)

jpshotstar's comment about their FML

Yeah so the part of the story I had to leave out (due to the number of characters allowed) was that when I showed my girlfriend, she swore that she was telling the truth, and got really upset when I didn't believe her. So I told her i believed her. Anyway, FML for a few hours.

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