What Better Day To Read All The FMLs Than On National 'Could Have/Should Have' Day? Here Are The 15 Most Regrettable FMLs
1. Wellp. At least she isn't cheating?
2. That's the point, bud.
Today, a guy in a coffee shop was trying to chat me up, when he noticed a ring on my finger and asked if I was married. In a stroke of regrettable honesty, I told him no, the ring was my mother's, who died when I was young. He said I probably shouldn't wear it because "men'll just get confused." FML
3. Sick in love.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML
4. If he was indeed a cocksucking bastard, then he deserved it.
Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML
5. Yeesh this one is rough.
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
6. Maybe 3 is a little too young.
7. Did he think he was going to find some super special meaning behind that name?
Today, I've been calling my pet snake "Mr. Snake" for two years now. I decided to look up the name, and boy do I regret it. It turns out Mr. Snake is a porn site. I've named my snake after porn and have been introducing him to family with that name for two years. FML
8. If you think I wouldn't back the hell out either way....
Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML
9. He saved your number, and you were saved from eternal damnation.
10. lol ok I'm just gonna dial 911 real quick
Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML
11. Ah, the classic move.
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
12. I think by 'roomate' she meant 'my new boyfriend.'
Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML
13. So romantic!
14. The main regret should be the way OP spelled "learned"
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
15. *Eating popcorn* OH SHIT
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML