Work: Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided...

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 287

You deserved it 3 295

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Same thing different taste

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 124

You deserved it 3 297

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 051

You deserved it 4 841

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 203

By donezo - 26/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 409

You deserved it 3 733

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 507

You deserved it 3 843

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 1 778

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 777

You deserved it 2 816

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 110

You deserved it 139

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 418

You deserved it 3 345

frozenfreeze 5

Friday 3 June 2011 8:51

That was a corny joke...

bigred7070 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:31

how did you know it was "sweet" corn. lol

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 3 June 2011 8:30

Bare-handed?

myndilou 3

Friday 3 June 2011 18:54

ur stupid if u had the option which would u pick.... bare handed or gloves? use ur brain

freddyisepic 2

Friday 3 June 2011 23:01

I guess its that time of the month again for 99...

cmwatson33 2

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:02

117 - win.

vocaloidtiger 12

Tuesday 17 April 2012 6:15

Perdix strikes again! *fades into the shadows*

Livinia 11

Friday 3 June 2011 8:31

Don't you just hate when that happens?

bigred7070 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:31

how did you know it was "sweet" corn. lol

bibit1990 2

Friday 3 June 2011 8:33

I was wondering the same thing.... ?:

lalalanono 8

Friday 3 June 2011 8:39

Came in to ask the same question... how did the OP come to the conclusion of "sweet" corn??

dookiedoo 0

Friday 3 June 2011 9:04

he tasted it

catatonicsleep 17

Friday 3 June 2011 14:43

The vegetable is called sweetcorn in England.... No need for tasting

bigred7070 0

Friday 3 June 2011 17:20

well that would explain it

MarcyMarc 4

Friday 3 June 2011 8:33

haha I wouldn't even go into the water even after you cleaned that up...

barlessprison 16

Friday 3 June 2011 8:34

I feel my lunch coming back up. Partly because my food was past it's expiry date and partly due to your unnecessary description of the contents in the kid's bowels. But mostly your description.