Animals: Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick...

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 641

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 299

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 121

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 652

You deserved it 5 477

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 6 933

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 38 028

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 334

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 549

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 135

By Mr Pippin - 09/09/2018 22:00

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 326

Slippin' and a slidin'

By Imnotfromhere - 05/03/2022 04:00

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 107

Frabens 1

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:25

To anybody who wondered how chocolate frogs were made in Harry Potter... You now know.

mohamed_H 21

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:08

*incoming overused pun in 3 2 1* That must have been a shitty situation hehe, i'll show myself out :(

Comments

SOILEDIT 51

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:05

What a great way to start off your morning with a little bit of poop frog!

mohamed_H 21

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:08

*incoming overused pun in 3 2 1* That must have been a shitty situation hehe, i'll show myself out :(

Frabens 1

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:23

Why would you say it's an overused pun then use it?

mohamed_H 21

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:26

Because... why not?

Qandol 26

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:23

I wouldn't just skip breakfast, but all meal after that.

Zanquis 22

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:25

Your doggy is a epic prakster, but if OP thinks he had a FML think about how that must have been a shitty way for the frog to wake up.

gatorclay97 28

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:45

Thanks now I'm skipping breakfast as well.

mssileas 25

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:48

I just screamed out of sympathy! Gross, gross, scary, gross... ah the joys of owning a dog...

Pro_Bender_fml 1

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:15

This is actually hilarious

Frabens 1

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:25

To anybody who wondered how chocolate frogs were made in Harry Potter... You now know.

allforfun 23

Wednesday 21 December 2016 18:34

I thought it was funny lol

Kattsu 0

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:36

Today, after a long night of bar hopping, I fell asleep on a nice pad of grass. I was later woken up to a heavy wet object dropping onto my back. In shock, I hopped onto a nearby branch, to be thrown off into the air, and splat on the ground. FML. -The Frog.