Intimacy: Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in...

By Anonymous - 29/08/2012 21:37 - United States

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 7 838

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 40 938

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 35 565

Kinda sus

By kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 137

You deserved it 14 355

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 678

You deserved it 7 812

By anonymous - 03/06/2013 04:41 - United States - Banner Elk

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 922

You deserved it 18 291

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 710

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 030

You deserved it 45 816

By fuck my arse - 08/08/2013 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 495

You deserved it 19 554

By limecat - 06/10/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 305

You deserved it 36 999

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 214

Kriyptic 8

Thursday 30 August 2012 8:45

At least the cop walked away and you didn't get arrested. Congrats on getting married though OP. Hopefully you have a great marriage.

Sunkissedgal 6

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:00

Now I see who wears the pants in the relationship.

Comments

Alchemax96 1

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:01

Yea...sure "wife"

xXUND3ADcityXx 0

Thursday 30 August 2012 10:12

What??

howdeedoo 22

Thursday 30 August 2012 16:22

11-Yes, she was his wife.

rivaraven 35

Thursday 30 August 2012 17:07

And why exactly would you think that she wasn't his wife?

tournamentdecide 33

Wednesday 16 April 2014 4:25

This confuses me.. why isn't she his wife..?

annie_nk 22

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:11

Good thing it was a cop with a sense of humor.

Llama_Face89 33

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:39

I'd hate to have someone laugh at me while my pants are at my knees...pretty emasculating...

erikshiz 5

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:44

pretty cool cop. i want him in my city!

xNiiiiiCKx 4

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:51

This is an FML? you didnt even get in trouble!

Kallian_fml 21

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:56

At least you weren't trying to wear your sweater as pants... That was incredibly awkward...

itwouldbetoday 2

Thursday 30 August 2012 9:57

Classic (: that is just to adorable

VaGino432 0

Thursday 30 August 2012 10:12

Once the cops in the picture you're screwed anyways, No pun intended Might as well finish up,

perdix 29

Thursday 30 August 2012 10:14

Cops don't usually tolerate guys who are too big for their britches. I guess he made an exception because they really were your bitch's britches.

AholeCop 11

Thursday 30 August 2012 15:30

The wife probably looked like Bruce Banner wearing Hulk's shorts.

skittlesmeep 4

Thursday 30 August 2012 10:26

Were they hot pants? xD

gc327072 30

Thursday 30 August 2012 16:56

Well then I guess OP was *lowers glasses* in the hot seat. YYEEAAHHHH!!

Keywords

Love Music Cute Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Animals Health Insects Money Insurance Plumbing Farts

The Top

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 103

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 65

The Top

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 643

You deserved it 211 353

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 607

You deserved it 2 462

Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 082

You deserved it 2 899

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 351

You deserved it 6 001

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 293

You deserved it 4 542

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 883

You deserved it 10 582

Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

Caught red-handed

Night on the tiles

Top comments

Comments