Miscellaneous: Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless...

By BerkeleyBiker - 19/04/2011 08:23 - United States

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 348

You deserved it 3 732

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Same thing different taste

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 856

You deserved it 3 315

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 6 805

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 291

You deserved it 3 224

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 3 920

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 007

You deserved it 6 014

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 4 347

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 085

You deserved it 2 877

By militarywife2b - 14/12/2009 20:23 - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 2 177

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 842

You deserved it 771

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:54

wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:55

It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.

Comments

I_Iz_Emo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:09

He gave you his dinner, that is the highest reward from the homeless

I_Iz_Emo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:15

Are you 5? IT is not scary

I_Iz_Emo 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:15

Are you 5? IT is not scary

SeasonedLemur 5

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:21

Hey the homeless have gotta entertain themselves somehow, I personally thought that was helarious if I was drunk I'd join in with his madness!

clownman 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:22

the new FML app rocks!

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:25

Boogers give great cushiony support! :D

sarapsosis 1

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:32

lolol

margokle 1

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:29

But it's so much fun

techweed 12

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:32

well, at least he's got a sense of humor

simply_improper 1

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:34

lmao @ #5

CasualZombie 6

Tuesday 19 April 2011 12:39

well where else is he supposed to put them?

ryrywakaka 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 14:13

lol can you see?

MissBunny25 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 17:02

can you?

CasualZombie 6

Wednesday 20 April 2011 0:08

yeah I can see just fine. Jesus what is it with people. always askin if I can see. yeah I have 20/20 vision. it's very possible to see through hair.

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 679

You deserved it 11 187

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 560

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 588

You deserved it 7 337

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 801

You deserved it 11 914

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 2 388

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 157

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 646

You deserved it 2 502

Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 88

Same thing different taste

Basic communication

PTSD

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