Kids: Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she...

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 931

You deserved it 10 131

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By pl. - 03/06/2021 21:59

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 152

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 129

You deserved it 6 494

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 3 418

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 084

You deserved it 445

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 927

You deserved it 8 876

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 2 771

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 181

You deserved it 597

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 138

You deserved it 1 293

Rozza17 29

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:08

Well she did listen...in ways

sleepyglowstar 32

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:09

that really sucks. unfortunately small children can be rather literal!

Comments

Indianboy9321 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:24

Ah...these are the moments you'll cherish later to parental-blackmail your kid when they're older... Haha but in all due seriousness, teach her that "poop" and "pee" belong in the toilet and not on the floor.

jellybeens_fml 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:25

Time to take out the belt.. ;D

drizzy11 18

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:40

Violence is never the answer.

StompinOnCrayons 15

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:43

Time to take out the mop and bucket / scrubbing brush

dachayke 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:14

Sorry, jellybeens, but do you ever make comments that don't get downvoted?

EdenCrystal 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 17:15

#25, it reminds me of those bleach commercials

soragirlfriend 8

Monday 27 January 2014 22:36

Pretty sure he's a troll. edit: That was for stompinoncrayons

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:44

She is a three year old and they can be very amusing. I hope that you didn't have carpet to clean.

chuka81 27

Sunday 26 January 2014 11:46

Time to go to my shelf of over-used phrases. Thats a shitty situation, I guess kids do the darndest things.

AhouKaho 11

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:07

Can't really argue with that logic though hehe

shhhaaarrron 12

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:10

Touché

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:25

Close enough. The logic of kids that age is amusing.

Anata_fml 10

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:38

A lot of clean work!!

DaggNabbit 8

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:40

Better out than in.

StompinOnCrayons 15

Sunday 26 January 2014 19:02

*shrek voice * That's what I always say !

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 13:03

Kids are the best. I did something similar when I was a kid.

dachayke 16

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:56

When I was a kid, I stuck my hand in my diaper and showed it to my dad to tell him that I needed it changed. He wasn't paying attention, so he kissed it, thinking i was telling him I hurt my finger. After he realized, the mouthwash bottle was used up quicker than Usain Bolt with a Mario star. So I think we've pretty much all done something like that.