Miscellaneous: Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 22:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 131

You deserved it 36 441

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Same thing different taste

By BlueMouth - 16/12/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 30 298

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 034

You deserved it 706

By akieferr - 03/09/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 794

You deserved it 14 754

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 17 413

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 208

You deserved it 30 426

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 135

By FGum - 30/07/2009 05:56 - United States

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 463

You deserved it 87 831

By goodmorning - 07/09/2014 13:45 - United States - Nashville

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 690

You deserved it 4 455

Taint

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 389

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 843

You deserved it 16 295

Next

Top comments

Markovski 18

Thursday 16 April 2015 10:29

Don't throw random shit in your mouth YDI

Devildrake 19

Thursday 16 April 2015 10:28

Who has a random gum ball or even a random paint ball on their desk?

Comments

Psychosys 16

Thursday 16 April 2015 10:38

LMAO @ you

pooldude 24

Thursday 16 April 2015 10:45

do u often eat random stuff that's lying around? YDI

keiNan_fml 35

Thursday 16 April 2015 10:48

being curious is okay but not being stupid.

hedgedcats 19

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:02

Sorry if I'm wrong but, aren't paint balls harder? Anyways YDI for putting stray things into your mouth.

mikbrooke 25

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:13

paintballs i've felt are kinda squishy. gumballs would be harder, considering its more of a solid, whereas paint is liquid.

gte225 11

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:08

As that old PSA song said "Don't you put it in your mouth".

abNormal62 23

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:08

Give it to Milkey. He hates everything

bdsmslave 18

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:14

If that ever happened to me I would totally hide behind a couch and jump out at random family members when they walk past. Paint dripping from my mouth, eyes rolled back in their sockets, tattered clothes... That's how homemade horror movies are started, my friend.

xXxGraveStonexXx 20

Saturday 18 April 2015 16:37

Made my day c':

Headcrab 29

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:15

No worries. Paintballs are edible.

MattStro 23

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:20

I mean YDI for putting it in your mouth without looking, that's quite careless

abbyade 21

Thursday 16 April 2015 11:39

Lol greedy. You deserved it.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

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You deserved it 85

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 1 942

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I agree, your life sucks 10 257

You deserved it 1 045

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I agree, your life sucks 31 508

You deserved it 2 290

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I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 154

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 3 428

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 178