Love and Intimacy: Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush...

By Anonymous - 02/09/2017 00:00 - United States

Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 807

You deserved it 3 995

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Same thing different taste

By skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 284

You deserved it 75 102

By Cassie - 21/05/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 906

You deserved it 47 280

By tbanana95 - 04/11/2009 03:17 - United States

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 082

You deserved it 11 020

Just… why?

By Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 656

You deserved it 54 123

By Gigi - 05/09/2012 04:29 - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 622

You deserved it 30 723

By Desperate_measures - 16/01/2010 12:22 - Greece

Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 14 746

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 992

When work husbands go too far

By Ashamed - 08/09/2023 04:00

Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 332

By acw2110 - 20/02/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 682

You deserved it 12 032

By donkeyd - 05/02/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 851

You deserved it 2 471

aelabed 17

Saturday 2 September 2017 6:05

Need a follow up on this

inappropes 31

Saturday 2 September 2017 6:35

At least he knows you like him(alot). Now make the move to ask him out lol.

Comments

SteelSoul5 9

Saturday 2 September 2017 9:38

Wow lol

royr7395 30

Saturday 2 September 2017 11:27

Why is your crush on speed dial tho?

buckdharma 36

Saturday 2 September 2017 13:58

If his name is Henry then you got off easy. Ask him if he wants some of your Oh Henry bar. It would also explain why you were talking about nuts and fudge, and stuff.

ajh1800 25

Saturday 2 September 2017 14:33

Tell him that you accidentally called him and when you noticed, you decided to make the most of it and turn it into a joke. Then flip it on him for how long he stayed on the phone

Regulate 21

Saturday 2 September 2017 16:23

Sure.

Hippo_Holiday 19

Saturday 2 September 2017 17:11

(Amused Tuba player in the background)

saberjpg 6

Saturday 2 September 2017 17:17

I don't buy it. I think you did it on purpose. Now you are executing the other half of the plan which is faking embarrassment and apologizing profusely. But he knows you like him, without you having to tell him. If he doesn't like you back, well, it was an accident. If he does like you back, then, well, it was a good thing that "Accident" happened.