Today, the police raided my home, as they suspected I was part... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By neednudoor - 13/11/2017 22:07 - United States - Emmetsburg

Today, the police raided my home, as they suspected I was part of a string of robberies. I have an identical twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 6

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Teenagers Love Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Work Awkward Parents Relatable Health Job interview Facebook Social Media Jealousy Weird Miscellaneous Relationship advice Kids AITA Shoes Annoying Roommate Music Names Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers

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Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 622

You deserved it 34 712

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 025

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 1 088

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 373

You deserved it 2 928

Today, after spending 6 hours straight working on a project at school, I decided to call it a night. The instant I set foot out of the lab, the building started screaming. The maintenance guy had set the alarm without telling me. The police had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 998

You deserved it 252

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 604

You deserved it 4 895

Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 483

Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 534

You deserved it 14 152