Love: Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive...

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 16:46 - Egypt

Today, the man I was going to dinner with got me the most expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend comes and sits with us. Somehow the subject of getting it on comes up. My date then says "expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 016

You deserved it 6 705

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Same thing different taste

By JJ_V3N0M - 03/01/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 917

You deserved it 9 392

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 104

You deserved it 3 103

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 4 125

By jkl54 - 01/04/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 865

You deserved it 6 532

By notyouraverageteenager - 10/06/2010 07:06 - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 309

You deserved it 7 321

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 3 899

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 186

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 873

You deserved it 14 058

By vintage_vogue - 17/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 222

You deserved it 7 433

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 248

You deserved it 3 694

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

purple5 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:25

Hm...I'd have said I was going to the bathroom, and then leave. You get to leave him behind and keep the necklace - score!

Comments

false_swipes 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:19

He's a keeper. Just prove him wrong. :)

JohnFR33M4N 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:20

Well you better not make him miss his flight.

Amandaisdreaming 7

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Now would be a good time to tell him about your recent vow of celibacy...

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

Well... did it work?

soccerfreak878 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 12:36

haha #6 was epic!

brydeec 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:21

What a ******* douche.

ohhboyy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

#1 I didn't know FML made it all the way to Egypt!

lame16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

...i don't get it =(

B00_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:22

I'd "lose" the necklace and HIM real fast.

vanityinsanity 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:23

haha well its true...

ambersayshii123 17

Thursday 5 July 2018 10:21

for some women, not all

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The Top

Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 78

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 844

You deserved it 48 282

Today, I noticed that my two cats have been urinating on my Christmas tree skirt more frequently than in their litter box. I've tried to get them to stop, but I don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 091

You deserved it 1 070

Today, I’ve been abroad for three years, but flew home to visit. My parents had a surprise: my baby sister, who they kept secret from me so they could film my reaction. She’s so cute but they’re upset that I’m angry at them. Sorry, but sane people don’t keep a baby a fucking secret from its sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 177

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 415

You deserved it 3 719

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 358

You deserved it 51 819

Today, I was victim to not one but two narcissists. I'd totally thought that these people were my friends, but everyone warned me that, "They’re only your friends when they need something from you.” I should’ve listened. I constantly felt like they were just using me. A "Thank you" goes a long way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 246

Same thing different taste

Wait, what?

Great date night

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