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Caligirl1996 Say more :
OP here. Yes, there is more to the situation that I could not explain with so few characters. Him and I go to college together, and we have been dating for close to three months. I left for summer, but he stayed on campus because he is taking a summer course; therefore, we talked about me coming to his dorm, on our campus, for a visit because we missed each other. I do admit that I should have recognized that he was not mature enough to maintain a long distance relationship but we all make mistakes right?
By Caligirl1996 - / Tuesday 9 June 2015 06:10 / United States - Long Beach
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  tormcn  |  26

I wouldn't want to share cookies in the first place.

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  ohjoy15  |  32

Yeah exactly like (speaking as a person who has had a similar situation hahahaha) don't just go home and take off all of your makeup and cry yourself to sleep. Eat those cookies with someone else, go for a drive, buy your friends some drinks, etc. Honestly eventually you start to realize how irrelevant to your life this person actually is. "The earth would keep spinning even if he wasn't on it" was the best advice I've ever gotten so there.

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  piinksock  |  17

I feel like there's more going on here. Like he obviously never wanted her to come and she couldn't or wouldn't pick up on the signs. I'd put money on OP being socially oblivious and the guy being too nice to forcefully tell her no before the cookie door slamming debacle.

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  Aimeejasmine  |  15

Really 63? Victim blaming? Really?

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  a1_z9  |  10

I think calling that victim blaming is a bit of an exaggeration, I mean you'd usually use that phrase for people who have been victim of harrassment rather than someone being ignored by some bloke. It's unclear if he was even properly dating her.

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

How is that victim blaming? What is she a victim of, other than rudeness? It's not like she was lead on, or at least not for a long time. I don't think it's completely unreasonable to consider that she was too selfish/unable to understand social signals/whatever kept her from seeing the actual signs. In that possibility, it could sound like she was told not to come but wanted to "surprise" him, and he was just shocked that she came anyways so he panicked and acted cowardly. It doesn't sound too far off from a very possible situation. However, if this is entirely the guy's fault, fuck him and OP shouldn't waste time crying over him because he isn't worth it.

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  niallo  |  23

Two things. One/ In this case she was wronged and is being held as the bad guy with no other info. You don't have to be slapped silly to be a victim. Two/ It sounds like she surprised him and he had someone in the room with him. That's why he slammed the door in her face and the text. I could be reading this wrong, but I don't think so. I think OP was lucky and got out of the relationship early. It was going to happen anyway.

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

How can she be wronged and the victim if she decided to surprise a guy who lives three hours away? If he had someone at his place already and she decided to randomly show up, that makes him sound more like the victim of a clingy girl than anything. And the fact that she didn't say "boyfriend" or even indicated that they agreed on being exclusive means that she has no right to feel like a victim of such circumstances if this is the case. It just doesn't make sense that he would invite her over, but dickishly change his mind AND still be stupid enough to open the door around the time he would expect her to get there.

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  Brandi_Faith  |  33

First, 63, even if that was the case, he could've had the decency to tell her in plain terms that he wasn't interested, that the relationship would not go anywhere, and he would appreciate her not coming to see him anymore, with an added "I hope you find someone else that will give you what I can't" type thing, as oppose to just slamming the door in her face. And 91, obviously she couldn't be victim blamed if she was semi-stalking the guy and showing up at his place unannounced and so on; but we have no real reason to believe that was the case. It sounds to me like the guy was a jerk, met some other woman, brought her back to his house and that's why he slammed the door in her face and text her. Either that or there was no girl in the house and he just lacked the balls to tell her to her face and didn't feel like dealing with her. Either way, it was a pretty dick move in my opinion. He could've had a little more compassion & respect.

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  Caligirl1996  |  9

OP here. Yes, there is more to the situation that I could not explain with so few characters. Him and I go to college together, and we have been dating for close to three months. I left for summer, but he stayed on campus because he is taking a summer course; therefore, we talked about me coming to his dorm, on our campus, for a visit because we missed each other. I do admit that I should have recognized that he was not mature enough to maintain a long distance relationship but we all make mistakes right?

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  Caligirl1996  |  9

Unfortunately, he did lead me on. There were no "social signals" for me to pick up on, and if there were I assure you I would have picked up on them and ended it. He bought me flowers after talking to me for one week, so he actually made me think that he was really into me. -OP

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  AninOnin  |  24

I'm sorry, OP. Long-distance sucks, particularly when the other person isn't quite ready to make that commitment. I'm sorry you had to drive all the way out there, and I hope it wasn't a completely wasted trip and that you were able to hang out with friends or visit some old haunts. The way things are right now, he isn't worth your time. Maybe that will change, maybe not, but you'll find someone who is mature enough to make time for you.

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