By disappointed dad - 19/05/2013 07:35 - United States

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 827
You deserved it 4 893

Same thing different taste

Top comments

jw90 18

Well now you know. And you can send it back to get a new one.

Comments

Well good thing your son found out before you got to use it!

challan 19

Sounds like a good place to work...

12- Lmao! Yes, we all wish we could work somewhere that we could ********** on the merchandise! Dream job right there! ;)

16- Well, maybe not the guy that sells high speed ventilation fans, the facial back splatter may discourage some... :p

perdix 29

#16 and #22, they say that talking to yourself in not necessarily a sign of mental illness. However, when you start arguing with yourself, . . .

perdix 29

#27, "to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice, young men in their clean, white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-ha!"

knotcool 15

On the bright side, you haven't sat on it yet...right?

We can't be that optimistic. Nobody buys a couch without sit-testing it first. :(

Maybe your son fell in love with the couch and tried to make beautiful couch babies, which went terribly wrong and now he blames the previous owners. Or he hated the couch and tried to get rid of it.

iammeorami 25

Humans + couch does not equal couch babies. It makes recliners duh!

Try to contact the seller and confront him/her with this disgusting find. If that doesn't work, get some alcohol and sterilize/wash the stains out.

Don't tell me it was that "interview" couch from Craigslist...

Sounds like the delivery guys had a fun truck stop before heading to your home. Hope you sent it back. No discount price would be worth-- god knows what's on there!

19- Well, the only two things I can think of that react under a Wood's lamp is Club Soda, and semen.....so.....you Could guess what it is, with at least a 50/50 shot at getting it right. You a betting girl? Then ignore it and have a seat. ;P

I wonder how true it is that semen shows up under a backlight. I know Vaseline does :P I'm getting different info trying to look it up. Almost tempted to go out and get a bulb at this very moment and do further research.

#30 I know you can see blood and semen

Actually it's tonic water that reacts under UV light, not club soda. The quinine is what does it. There's a reason I love to order G&T's or Tequila Tonic in a bar, and the glowing drink is exactly why.

Sounds like you found the elusive "Casting" Couch!

perdix 29

It's no contest: Having your son discover that your "new" couch has been used as a cum-dumpster is worse. His use of the back light shows resourcefulness and that should make you proud. You are lucky that he doesn't know how to collect DNA samples to figure out how many different guys were in the gang-bang that happened on your "new" couch.

A black light doesn't only find semen; it can detect blood and urine too, which I guess isn't much better.

26- Yes, I definitely want the couch that's been pissed, bled, and not Just jizzed on, it sounds absolutely lovely. :P

perdix 29

#26, gosh, I hope my landlord doesn't read FML!!!

DarkHelmet 10