Love: Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 821

You deserved it 2 776

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Same thing different taste

Lost again

By Anonymous - 31/12/2019 20:00

Today, the boy I like, came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 179

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 126

You deserved it 5 246

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 90

By brother love - 13/08/2010 05:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 752

You deserved it 3 926

By AdriBAMF - 17/10/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 313

You deserved it 7 764

By anonymouss - 21/09/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 079

You deserved it 45 322

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 12 126

Noped outta there

By SmileEveryday - 17/03/2009 20:44 - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance, which is one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I was waiting in his driveway with balloons, I saw his car reverse and go in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 041

You deserved it 20 405

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 642

You deserved it 7 226

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Run Forrest! Run!

unicornunit 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:04

sounds like ur uncle used to be in a lynch mob

Comments

wriptidez 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:23

uhhh thats not good ... he should of just told him no

lena6310 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:30

Wow... Just wow

Magic1 9

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:30

This reminds me of the angry mobs in cartoon shows

alstbv12 13

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:34

Good one. I remember when I had my first beer.

perdix 29

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:37

YDI for liking a guy with green skin and bolts coming out of his neck.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 29 September 2011 11:43

Puttin`on the Ritz by Young Frankenstein.(:

ninababe6 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:42

Sounds fake..

Bunnehs 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:42

So are you going with him still....?

surriesly 1

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:45

Who owns a pitch fork anymore?

perdix 29

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:52

Satan. Next question, please.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 14:34

Will I even get to have a pitchfork too?

MissBBGoodGirl 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 15:07

25- My family does! There's a such thing as farming and gardening, remember what that is?! OP probably lives in the country!

Enslaved 36

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:53

Who carried the torches?

NOWAYJOSE 14

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:44

Did you really mean a rake?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 107

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 4 391

The Top

Today, I shat myself, all because my little sister spent two hours trying to make a TikTok video in the one bathroom we have in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 146

Today, I was excited because I was going to get my college decisions back. I put all of the letters in order of my preference. Didn't get into my first choice. Denied from my second choice. Rejected from my third choice. Wait listed on my back-up. Accepted for a job at Target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 582

You deserved it 10 061

Today, I heard a radio ad for the new anti-bullying efforts at a local middle school. The speaker in the ad was the school counselor… who was also my bully in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 138

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 3 603

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 107

Today, I got home from hospital after being sent there for suicidal intentions because I'm poor, chronically ill and want out of my life. Five hours later, I was sent home after being given one Valium and a taxi ordered, that I had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 123

Same thing different taste

Lost again

Mixed signals

Noped outta there

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