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By feiedbutter - / Saturday 7 December 2013 14:55 / Canada - Ottawa
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it sounds like the wife is desperate for her husband to stop being lazy and it's a pretty good scheme; maybe she's not so crazy after all. He could verywell be a useless husband who just sits around playing X box and expects sex

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148-- you said it yourself, "scheme". If she would like him to do these things, maybe she should talk to him like an adult. Right now, she is treating him like a 5 year old. That chart has to be degrading and patronizing.

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#187, maybe she has tried to have an adult conversation with OP, and it didn't work. Sure, the wife is kinda grasping at straws here, but maybe she's desperate to get OP's help.

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197-- that is still no excuse to use sex as a weapon. He is going to end up resenting her for this. Bribery and bitterness is not the way to have a relationship.

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I know that when my husband doesn't help out I get annoyed, which means I don't want sex. I ask, but I have to nag to get it done, which I hate, so I just do it. We both work the same hours, so maybe some kind of chart would help him see how much more I do at home. Not that I would withhold sex; maybe some kind of competition--winner chooses weekend activity.

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She seems to be a very economically inclined person. I think that she's hanging onto the phrase "if you do something well, don't do it for free" pretty tightly. If she's willing to go down that path, OP must be pretty unambitious. Or really pathetic.

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Personally I agree with 61... It says that he isn't gaining points so his wife us going to sleep alone... According to OPs sorry, he gets points by doing chores, and he isn't getting points because he isn't doing anything, and this was his wife's way to get him to finally do some chores, and he still failed at doing chores, even for sex.

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99 - You know nothing about their marriage, so how can you make all these assumptions? The woman very may well have not tried talking things out. Women often think that guys can read their mind and always know what's wrong without us guys being told what's wrong. And what if he's constantly working to support the both of them, so he has no time for chores? What if his job takes up more energy than chores? You can't just assume that OP is lazy when you have no idea what he does.

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In a sense, I agree with 98 when they said it takes two to have a successful marriage, but it was wrong to assume they'd tried everything else. Also, I think it's pretty fucked up his wife is trying to be so in control of his own sex life.

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Good points all. But I think it shows desperation to resort to a sex chart. It's my assumption yes. but doubt a sex chart would be the first solution she tried. If she is willing to move to the guestroom means that is being going on for a bit. Would love to hear what the OP had to say in his defense.

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176- the wife is being controlling of his sex life? It's only his? The wife somehow never participates? Unless they agreed to have an open relationship, I'm guessing that once they became a committed couple that it was agreed upon that they would only have sex with each other. So it's their sex life. Not just his, not just hers, but their sex life together. OP, see this as an opportunity to get your marriage what it needs, help. Obviously something is not working here communication wise. Either your wife was communicating hers needs/wants to have you help more around the house and you weren't listening or taking it seriously, or your wife was just expecting you to help more and since you aren't she's resorted to doing this sex chart thing. I think you'd be better going to marriage counseling together to work on this. It's probably the only way for the sex chart to go away and for you to understand why your wife made it to begin with. She seems pretty desperate for resorting to withholding sex just to get help around the house.

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Don't you know #360? the sex life is always and completely controlled by the man! Women have no say since they're a less valuable kind of being. Good for nothing but keeping the house in order, popping out babies, and being used for a man's pleasure. Seriously though, all these people talking about "his" sex life and how it's the WORST thing ever to go without sex for awhile. Please! There's obviously something worse lacking than the sex in this marriage. They need to work on their communication.

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doesnt anyone realize how wrong it is for a wife to withhold sex? its very disrespectful to the man and as you can see she is taking advantage of him due to his need. this is why divorce is so damn popular...

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So is out fair for to the wife to have a job and do all the chores around the house. including cleaning the garage and mowing the lawn? women need sex too. It's not just him that's being punished. If he was helping her out I don't think she would have to resort to the chart

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#25 And using sex as a bribe to do more around the house is better? They should both act like fucking adults and talk about it instead of her treating him like a child. If he's not doing his part, then it goes without saying that he needs to do better. But we don't know that for a fact.

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Depends on how many points he gets for chores. If 50 points is many weeks worth of cooking and cleaning this program is just a way to keep op around as a servant while she looks for/enjoys new sexual partners. If it's 2-3 days, it's just punishment for some perceived slight in his part in the past.

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