By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 226
You deserved it 24 979
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

gunmania0 12

Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.

131 17

Comments

Im2Handsom 1

Well then. *turns head back to **** and continues*

88 11
Rachelrock21 6

Dude lol the thing is that she obviously said no. Just play the whole thing over in your mind: You- Masturbating Wife: comes in like wtf y r u doing this I Mean come on u have a wife You: wanna have sex? Wife: NO! I'm not gonna do that right now! It's obvious the only thing u want right now is pleasure. You don't care about what I have to say!!!!!!!.

65 25
sakforduc 0

Ummm obviously if he's jacking off all he's thinking about is pleasure. Why should he care about what she has to say if she doesn't care about his pleasure.

15 20
IfTheKeyFits 3

Why? For providing pleasure his wife wouldn't give him?

4 1
mrbendystraw 0

Scumbag wife- "You must not get sexual pleasure from anyone else but me." Doesn't have sex with him.

6 0
Ferretface 13

Talking like Yoda #28 is.

2 0
ekarjala 0

I think I will include this in my dissertation on the absence of logic in the female gender.

29 36
locaaaa 4

Or the absence of logic in the male gender, rather. Even if I was in the mood, if I caught my husband jacking off to **** I would be instantly turned off. Of course she didn't want to have sex with him. Men are ridiculous sometimes in the way they think.

46 21
TheDrummingResul 0

The best thing a wife can do is.... not freak the **** out at every little thing! Especially ****, I don't know where it was decided that watching **** is cheating..

23 13
locaaaa 4

I didn't say it was cheating, it's a turn off.

18 9
ikickgingers 15

Meh... Really? I have a little **** stash ... Its really not a big deal. And it's not a turn off for everyone. **** comes in different forms. My friend kept telling me to read the 'in death' series by JD Robb err Nora Roberts. Yeah if that isn't **** I don't know wtf is. It's not as obvious ... I tried reading the first book and I felt dirty...So so so dirty. To each their own.

6 3
TraceCase_ 19

ikick, so true...there's a group of women at my work who trade those books like Pokemon cards. I wonder how many of those women leaving "shame on you" comments to the OP have a habit of tossing a "romance novel" in the grocery cart every week?

9 4
WutzButz 3

locaaaa: Oh, are we back to the "one is all"-game? I want to play too: All women are prudes who get pissed off if their men has a sexuality he doesn't need to pressure their wifes/girlfriends for. How was that?

1 6
underguarded 20

Tell her to either put out or stop her bitching. A guy has to get his rocks off some how.If the woman isn't putting out, It's either **** or cheating. Take your pick because blue balls are not something a guy should live with.

28 43
flootershy 7

Cheating isn't bad, in fact, it is a natural thing for humans to do.

1 14
rhysfucker 24

Dear OP, You might want to make advances towards your wife, like a shoulder rub and then neck kissing to set the mood. If wifey then declines after you have made a romantic / caring advance, I would then advise her that you need some relief and are going to take care of yourself. Good luck. Ladies, Sometimes men just need pressure relief, like an overinflated balloon. It's not a slight against you...

86 4
asherah14 7

Dammit! I accidentally hit thumbs down but I wanted thumbs up! This is very true. Everyone in a relationship should make effort to set the mood for their partner and have complete freedom to take care of their own pleasure when the partner isn't in the mood. I feel bad for OP since he's got a stupid selfish wife.

14 4
theonlybassist 8

Maybe he did though. Maybe he has been trying all week and she still declined.

3 5
FreckleFace9 1

Can someone tell me what OP means? I'm a retard and can't figure out anything for myself

0 4
Lmickey 3

Someone needs to calm her **** and get on your dick...

19 38