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FML - The follow-up
stillnotdivorced Say more :
OP here. First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support. I get a lot of face-to-face support, and I'm not sure why the support of a bunch of strangers on the Internet is so meaningful, but it is. So thanks! Second, I want to provide a bit more detail. Not much more, as I don't want to say anything that will be too identifying or potentially useful for her if we ever go to trial: Thanks to the fairness of the system here and some actions she took initially, we have had 50/50 shared parenting time with the kids since almost the beginning. So I've been able to spend a lot of time with my kids, and when they forget they are supposed to hate me, it's been great! Then they remember, and things get very, very hard. And regardless of the challenges of having her here in the complex, this move of hers *will* make things easier on the kids - they'll be able to walk from household to household on transition days instead of getting driven. Much less disruptive. So yes, there is a silver lining. I like all of the suggestions of tracking or even recording all of our interactions. I'll have to check into the legality of actually recording, but writing down what happens and is said as soon afterward as possible is a great idea, and I'm going to add it to my toolkit. I also like the idea of having witnesses around. I don't think a restraining order is a possibility without a specific action on her part. But rest assured - if she does something that warrants it (see what I did there?), I will seek one. Thanks again, everyone!
By stillnotdivorced - / Saturday 27 August 2016 01:46 / United States - Boxborough
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By  stillnotdivorced  |  1

OP here. First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support. I get a lot of face-to-face support, and I'm not sure why the support of a bunch of strangers on the Internet is so meaningful, but it is. So thanks! Second, I want to provide a bit more detail. Not much more, as I don't want to say anything that will be too identifying or potentially useful for her if we ever go to trial: Thanks to the fairness of the system here and some actions she took initially, we have had 50/50 shared parenting time with the kids since almost the beginning. So I've been able to spend a lot of time with my kids, and when they forget they are supposed to hate me, it's been great! Then they remember, and things get very, very hard. And regardless of the challenges of having her here in the complex, this move of hers *will* make things easier on the kids - they'll be able to walk from household to household on transition days instead of getting driven. Much less disruptive. So yes, there is a silver lining. I like all of the suggestions of tracking or even recording all of our interactions. I'll have to check into the legality of actually recording, but writing down what happens and is said as soon afterward as possible is a great idea, and I'm going to add it to my toolkit. I also like the idea of having witnesses around. I don't think a restraining order is a possibility without a specific action on her part. But rest assured - if she does something that warrants it (see what I did there?), I will seek one. Thanks again, everyone!

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  NereidAlbel  |  14

Won't work. That she intentionally chose to move closer to him demonstrates a lack of fear, and any attempt at getting such an order would be shut down by any lawyer capable of passing the bar exam.

By  pjsr  |  29

No divorce is simple. Hopefully you'll be closer to your kids, and they'll have an opportunity to see that you're both stable and loving.

By  xMaeLA  |  21

I know it's unfair for you to even have to consider moving, but you probably should keep a record of her behavior and still move just for your peace of mind. Get far, far, away. Far. Far. Away.

By  icefishbaby  |  14

Kind of ironic that she's trying to alienate him from his kids, but is moving them so that they can be closer to him. Maybe this could actually be a good thing - you can be super close to your kids even if your ex-wife has custody? Hoping this all works out, OP.

By  Danne696  |  12

Yes, I hate those damn glass-half-full bastards. Life sucks, you suck and you should just give up. Recognizing the good in a generally bad situation does not mean that you accept or like the situation. It sucks that OP's ex is trying to pick fights with him, but if she moves into the same apartment complex he will have a better chance of keeping in touch with his children rather than letting them stay alienated , which they would've if she moved far away with them.

By  holyshiitake  |  6

Peace be with you. I went through a horrible divorce awhile back. No kids involved, but my ex stalked me to no seemingly end. He made my life terrible. Stay where you're at. Hold your ground, and see your children.

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