Miscellaneous: Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her... - FML

By ugh annoying - 01/07/2011 07:41 - United States

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 189

You deserved it 3 976

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Same thing different taste

Bad influence

By BigSister - 13/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 035

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 296

You deserved it 2 620

Far out, man

By shroomda - 29/06/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 231

You deserved it 3 403

Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 116

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 3 048

By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 760

You deserved it 3 154

Jumping the gun

By just lookin out - 31/05/2023 03:00

Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 1 194

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 222

Next

Top comments

iLazy 0

Friday 1 July 2011 15:56

Blame Mario for spreading the shroom trend

YayorNay 8

Friday 1 July 2011 15:57

More like FYL, her books were trying to eat her face.

Comments

Veronika87 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:03

Why do you let your sister use drugs in the first place?

M0rt 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:17

So your saying he's expected to keep his sister on a leash? That's her parents' job.

jordanthomas 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:43

By babysitting her, she's creating an enviroment where it's okay to abuse drugs.

BeeMaddness 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:54

how the he'll is he responsible for his sister

stacianichole 2

Friday 1 July 2011 19:26

why do you think she's not responsible for her own actions in the first place?

livin_plur 0

Friday 1 July 2011 19:35

haha you guys never done shrooms before? I highly recommend it, a low dose of all caps, you'll feel more in touch with nature than you ever thought was possible, don't knock it till you try it, shrooms are one of the funnest.

corrinaswan 0

Friday 1 July 2011 20:07

she's her sister not her mom and she was trying to help

LikeaPRESIDENT 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:05

what If they were?

ciarafox9 9

Friday 1 July 2011 17:43

he'd be real sorry!

himoonkey 8

Friday 1 July 2011 18:02

then we're all ****** :/

sarcasticbitch 7

Friday 1 July 2011 16:09

The FML should say. Today, my sister ate shrooms and she did not share with me. FML

RokNRoll11 9

Friday 1 July 2011 16:12

ARE YOU @&$! kidding me, your sister does SHROOMS

ImAHomosexual 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:15

Thank you random twelve year old...

hazardoussmiles9 22

Friday 1 July 2011 17:39

No shit.

himoonkey 8

Friday 1 July 2011 17:59

are you @&$! kidding me! a ten year old on fml that can't say ****! :0

koortneyg 12

Friday 1 July 2011 20:44

you're stupid

flashback.miss 28

Friday 1 July 2011 16:13

what the,,,,,?

Person1233 12

Friday 1 July 2011 16:24

Tentacle rape...? Interesting.

fiju 15

Friday 1 July 2011 16:20

shrooms ^^

Person1233 12

Friday 1 July 2011 16:27

Your sister deserves it for not sharing.

livin_plur 0

Friday 1 July 2011 19:37

agreed, she obviously had enough to share if she had to call the cops because of her books, as far as I'm concerned, you should always remember you ate shrooms when something like that happens...

Petunia888 13

Friday 1 July 2011 16:30

This FML made my day!!! Just one question, though: if she thought the books were trying to eat her face off, what'd she think after you tackled her? =D

carameldrizzle 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:31

at least she didn't see flying turtles and venus fly traps spitting fire at her

bewbies 3

Friday 1 July 2011 21:38

is that what you experienced when you did shrooms?

carameldrizzle 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:18

someone didnt get the mario reference

gchartier90 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:33

happy canada day

icexcrystalxeyes 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:00

: ) i'm a proud Canadian !

mk58 31

Friday 1 July 2011 17:46

Anyone who thumbs down these comments is obviously not Canadian.

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The Top

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

Today, the final for a class I'm in is taught by a decrepit old man who apparently has a flunk-out reputation. He spent the entire previous class making a study guide for the final exam, emphasizing, "THIS is on the exam. Know THIS." I studied it hard. Absolutely none of it was on the exam. Everyone failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I've been engaged for 2+ years to a man who asks every day who i've spoken to and accuses me of cheating when I talk to people outside of my family. When he's home, I have to watch him talk on the phone to every person who calls. This is considered our time together. Then he wants sex. I know I'm stupid for staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 747

Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved out and left a huge mess. I found her wearable vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 307

Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 257

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 214

You deserved it 3 365

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 341

You deserved it 2 859

Today, after feeling fat and ugly and a bit depressed, I logged on to Facebook to see my boyfriend had posted "I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world!" I 'liked' it and commented "Aww thank you baby!" I logged in later to see that he commented back saying "I didn't mean you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 412

You deserved it 5 195