Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island.... - FML

By Oze - 18/02/2010 09:48 - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 698

You deserved it 2 870

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

One man and his dog

By This alarm clock can go fuck itself - 11/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my roommate switched jobs and now goes to work in the morning. His dog has declared that going on a barking frenzy right after he leaves is a great thing to do. Earplugs don't work - I move too much and they fall out too easily. Only 30 more days until he moves out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 82

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 495

You deserved it 2 857

Noise

By wide awake - 31/07/2020 14:01

Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 218

Great solution

By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 888

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 760

You deserved it 3 413

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 217

You deserved it 4 332

Noisy boys

By Help - 01/02/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my roommate's dogs dictate where I sleep. When my roommate doesn't work, I get to stay in my bedroom. When he does work, I have to go into the living room because they will bark at me simply because I exist until he comes back. I'm already an insomniac; loud dogs are a little overkill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 150

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 303

You deserved it 1 221

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/06/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 483

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 16:32 - Argentina

Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 450

You deserved it 3 904

Next

Top comments

Vehicle 1

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:12

This FML is dumb. lol.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:17

Wait, can someone re-read this for me, I think I missed the part that makes this an FML...

Comments

ashylarry 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:29

this is an awful fml. it's not even a ydi....it just sucks

f_alltheirlives 3

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:34

Hmm... we see you have boom-boom sticks... bye bye.

KurouTenshi 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:37

MUPPETS~ IN~ SPACE~!!!

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:49

Is it strange that I would actually Gonzo someone's Rizzo before? (cues Statler and Waldorf) Statler - "Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show." Waldorf - "Who's a fool? You watched it."

angrynegro7 16

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:51

How is this an FML? Haven't you heard of earplugs? :/

BlueBomber 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:53

Hahaha, you win the Internets on this one, sir.

zuuzuu_fml 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 16:57

steal it off him!! and kill the evil movie!!

mylifeisaverage9 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:09

Yes, you're life sucks because you have to watch the Muppets... Seriously, get over yourself. This doesn't belong on FML...

Osakhomen 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:11

Invest in some earplugs. Best thing ever. I go to sleep early some nights, and the walls are really thin in my apartment... so when my roommates friends come over, even if they're talking in a normal tone, it's pretty loud, so I just put in some earplugs... and there's silence! Also use them because my room's near a recycling bin for glass and cans, so when they pick it up it gets pretty loud. Also, tell him to invest in some earphones...

sirbrickrock1 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 17:15

oh well, atleast you don't see curmet the frog in your dreams

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Cute Health Music Love Coworkers TMI Gross Work Money Parents Racism Customers Scary Kids Technology Gamers Geek Intimacy Sex Poopoo peepee Anxiety Stressed out Mental health Neighbours Miscellaneous Garden Relatable Transportation Ableism Disability

The Top

Today, I walked by the boys' locker room to surprise my best friend when he came out for his soccer game. I heard a voice shout from inside, “If I score today, I'll get to score with Jenna!” followed by a bunch of men’s hoots. I’ve known him since we were freshmen and I see this guy as a brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 151

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 256

You deserved it 1 045

The Top

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 12 193

Today, my 46 year-old brother-in-law came to visit. He is uniquely gifted. His talent? Behaving like a teenager and sexualising everything. Even my lip blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 125

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 2 456

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 2 708

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 259

You deserved it 16 586

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 356

You deserved it 7 464