By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Spicy
Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML
I agree, your life sucks 564
You deserved it 35

Top comments

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Get revenge. **** in his milk.

DarkHelmet 10

that deserves an ass whoopin!!

Comments

Salaminizer 0

Now you need to one-up him. Come out of the bathroom with his playboy and a 'used' bag of his doritos (or other food item of your choosing.) Then 'accidentally' light his playboy on fire. You win.

Salaminizer 0

Better yet, 'use' his playboy. Make an effort to see that all the pages get stuck together. Even more win for you.

Get stuck together with what, exactly...? Anyone, anyone?

Kristen_Nichole 0

****! Ahaha, sorry, I just had to...

Wow your fat and nasty #176. I guess thats why your in the sex section of FML so much cause no one would touch you with someone elses dick. GO ON A DIET FATASS

You are amazing! I need you to think up all my revenge schemes for me!

If you don't know what they'd be stuck with you need to find a new, more age appropriate FML to read

scubadiver8888 0

yea I'd get new roommate I own my own house so I'd kick his ass to the curb and get few hot girl roommates

Ha! Just make sure you lock up your electric toothbrush.

hahahahaha wasn't there an fml where the op said that they heard their sister using a vibrator, then saw the sister leaving their room with the op's electric toothbrush?

Yup, that was the reference! I think there might've been another similar one too, with a roommate instead of a sister.

now IF he was masturbating, why would he use a condom? he afraid hes gonna get his hand pregant?FYL dude, seriously

Hey! HAND PREGNANCY IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER hahaha

TaylorTotsYumm 10

No, his hand will impregnate him. It is actually quite common.

FooFighterXC 0

Dangg, next time hide all of his socks and condoms. It doesn't really sound like he needs the condoms anyway.

#2 your picture is lol. I hope that's not you. LOL

perdix 29

Doritos? Sour cream and testicles flavor, perhaps? Who masturbates to Playboy anymore? You have to be an idiot to spank the money by spending a fortune looking at a few boringly tasteful pics of air-brushed women when there's plenty of hardcore filth on the Internet for FREE!

Maybe all the ads of "grow your penis" turn him off. Then again, mags are even worse for ads than the internet.

purplemnm 9

perdix, I do not find playboy photos to be tasteful at all, but they aren't as inappropriate as Internet ****.  and OP, you should be able to rest in peace knowing that your father doesn't jerk it to your Delias magazines!!!! 

DanielleTheOne 3

128, what do u mean 'not as inappropriate'?? its ****!!! since when does port have to be appropriate? and apropriate for what? for getting off? im sorry but i just found that to be a weird thing to say :S

nintendomagic1 0

#32's got a point. God i hope u didnt eat those doritos but if u did hell at least u got some dip, for free too

killerbee54 0

that's great XD well, yeah, your roomate doesn't seem to have the best of manners, but this is a good story to tell later on (in front of him). lol. word of advice, don't eat from that Doritoes bag. mark it, just so you know. lol