Miscellaneous: Today, my passport arrived in the mail today. They got my birthday...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By CastBoundPit - 27/04/2016 03:04 - United States - Arlington

Today, my passport arrived in the mail today. They got my birthday wrong. I scavenged for my birth certificate that I sent with it. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years.

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 7

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Love Music Cute Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Farts

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Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 65

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 960

You deserved it 931

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Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 328

Today, I found out some of my colleagues made a Teams group named “WHPJ” Which stands for “We Hate (My first initial) (My last initial)." They post candid photos of me that were taken without my consent, and make jokes about me. These people pretend to be nice to me at work everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 113

Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 727

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 614

You deserved it 2 454

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 50 913

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 12 335