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Before circa 1970/1980 is was believed that it was better not to tell a child that he was adopted. So probably OP's mother never told him/her when he/she still lived at home, and after that had trouble finding the right moment for it.

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well I guess now u cant feel so bad besides it's 2 late for hard feelings anyway.. fyl indeed but atleast u grew up with a family!! be grateful to that

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She may have been ashamed. Some people of that generation were either afraid the children wouldn't be accepted as family or embarrassed that they could not have children of their own. If she was a good mother, forgive her. If you are inclined, it is not too late to search for your biological family. Are you and your sister biologically related? Good luck to both of you.

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It'd be interesting to see some more of these mature FMLs. Surely adults have way more fucked up lives than 'us kids'. "Of course we do, and don't call me Shirley"

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@ 2 - Absolutely agreed. I hate it when the people who go through all the pain, stress, expense and effort of raising a child suddenly get relegated to the back seat when the biological parents waltz back into a person's life (after the hard work is done by somebody else) expecting that the fact that they dumped the kid like a broken tv will not matter because they are the "real" parents. Hate to break it to them, but they are not the parent of that child in any shape or form other tha

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Yes, the parents that have spent the majority of the childs' life raising them and loving them are important, but the biological parents are also important. A child should know where they come from, they should know about the family that left them behind, and had things been a little different, the family that they would be a part of. None of us know the OPs biological parents' circumstances, so we shouldn't be so quick to assume the worst. If the new guys suck, the kid can get closure, and if n

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yeah I agree #2 you really shouldn't care if you were adopted, maybe check for family history of diseases but other than that who cares

By  RR05

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If OP is 45, then her parents are in their mid to late 60's at best. They could theoretically be dead now. If she was given notice sooner then she had a better chance...

So what? You didn't suspect it, which means you probably had a pretty good childhood. Consider yourself lucky, many people who were raised by their biological parents couldn't say the same.

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Pure psychology. There are always signs which may raise suspicion of adoption, such as different eye/hair color compared to both parents (I know this is possible with biological children too, but with ~25% probability), some facial feature not found at any parent, neither at the sister, different blood type than both parents, etc... But these tend to be overlooked if the behavior of the parents doesn't raise any suspicion.

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I fail to see how the death of a mother is ever a good thing unless she is a deadbeat mom or beats her kids or something. All parents lie. She probably thought it was for the best.

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Maybe the mom was delusional/suffering from dementia or something like that? I don't think she should die as MrMaD says she should, but maybe she wasn't fully competent when she said that?

i don't see how can that be true, wouldn't you need your birth cert at some piont in your life and wouldn't that show up (can't make a fake one), or I mean there had to be clues along the way I mean all thoses years.. so I higly doubt it is true, unless she was unsulting you and disowning type of way

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that's a good point. I'm only 14 and I have seen my birth certificate when I was going to high school, getting a job, and even going to the doctors. how did you make it 40 plus years without ever seeing it?

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Actually, this isn't the case. More states than not have "blind", "double blind", or "closed" adoptions--this essentially means the adoptive parents' names are put on the birth certificate and no actual record of the birth parents' names are on any legal birth certificate. Texas--where I was born, and adopted--is this way. My (adoptive) folks' names are on my birth cert. I have no record at ALL of my sperm & egg donor's names. I believe only 10 or 12 states DO

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No -- adopted people, in 44 states in the US anyway -- are issued a fake birth certificate (called an "amended birth certificate") to make it look like the adoptive parents are the biological parents. So yes, they have a birth certificate, but it's not the original one. That is sealed away in Arizona and in 43 other states.

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I got the job first when I was 13 so I didn't need it, but now that I am 14 I am doing it legit-ly... I only threw in the part about being 13 when I first got it because the one person asked where you could get a job at such a young age.

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Sometimes the adoptive parent and child look enough alike that they can pass for relatives. My best friend and my cousin are both adopted and they both look like thier adoptive parents.

So, you had a really nasty bringing up? This mom must have beaten you and left you in a dark basement? Yeah it's out of the blue and sudden and you might feel lost but it's not FML worthy

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