Kids: Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I...

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 4 730

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Same thing different taste

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 538

You deserved it 722

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 218

By mjayne17 - 21/03/2009 19:04 - Canada

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 018

You deserved it 22 267

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 619

You deserved it 18 546

This is fine

By TheywearintheDIRTYlaundrybasket! - 26/03/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 552

You deserved it 214

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 379

You deserved it 103 182

By wnrz - 18/02/2012 20:26 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 831

You deserved it 4 833

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 3 495

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 984

You deserved it 23 319

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 228

You deserved it 3 802

Nyx_fml 23

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:05

There's nothing like condom talk with your mother.

tanekdrachonae 19

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:12

It's ok, I was an accident too. We should be friends.

Comments

golden_warrior 23

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:22

Lol, lot of us are born because of broken condoms. You shouldn't worry about that.

Wizardo 33

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:24

Well like a Trojan virus you were downloaded unexpectedly...

monnanon 13

Sunday 25 August 2013 10:53

more like a trojan horse as he snuck in without anyone noticing.

corocoro 30

Sunday 25 August 2013 15:35

Facebook instead of Homer, eh?

Enslaved 36

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:27

Hey, what do you know? I'm a condom baby too. All though, I was probably born though a Ramses condom. Apparently they're not reliable. What can you expect, the Pharaoh did have around 100 children. :P

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:28

Lol that's rough

jasmine2301 25

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:34

Don't look at it as an... insult, but more of advice! Better that you heard it from someone experienced than learning the hard way.

Reesienpiper 4

Sunday 25 August 2013 3:37

For being nosey... "And that's why we're pregnant cause the durex split..." Throw in a YOLO afterward.

j_cat187 19

Sunday 25 August 2013 6:17

YOU WILL BURN IN A PIT OF FIRE FOR THE VULGAR USE OF THE WORD "YOLO"!

8born8 18

Sunday 25 August 2013 9:36

Anyone that uses YOLO is not old enough to comprehend any serious consequences because they believe that YOLO is an acceptable scapegoat option. Broaden your horizons and read a book instead of being such a delinquent.