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FML - The follow-up

Today, my live-in girlfriend and I broke up. She told me she can't leave because she has nowhere to go. I'm stuck with her until she finds a job and an apartment. FML

skizpow7 Say more :
It is my apartment, and we broke up mutually. she moved here from 50 miles away to live here and we'd been together two years. we just recently figured out that our relationship was great... right up until she moved in. we simply can't live together. and I'm not gonna kick her out, totally rude. she gave up her life in her town to come live here, I don't expect her to be able to up and leave. she's only been here a month and doesn't know anyone close and her parents live 4 states away. it'll just be super awkward. FML
By skizpow7 / Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:53 / United States
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By  smokergirl420  |  9

It sucks that you guys weren't able to live together, and I really respect you for not kicking her out. I know how it is to not have anyone else to rely on other than my bf. Things will be awkward but since it sounds like the two of you didn't have a terrible nasty breakup and it was a mutual agreement then I don't think it will be too too awkward. Good luck to both of you.

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u guys are probably gonna get back together or else you woulda kicked her out. the FML here would be the time next week when she brings a different dude to your apartment to drive you crazy.

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  Avenger_fml  |  6

well, I think you're nice for letting her stay, other people wouldve kicked her out or (like other people are saying. -.-) make her their slave. but no, not you, I hope. but yeah, she should at least pay you for letting her stay after she gets a job

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  fylx100  |  5

138- He and his girlfriend just broke up. I'm sure he still cares for her so he probably doesn't have the heart to just throw her out with no place, food, and money. It's easier said than done.

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  letmeinplease  |  5

No- at some point he must have made an explicit or implicit decision that she could live with him as a couple, and that (I'm guessing, since she has no job) he would support her. If he totally removed any incentive for her to earn her own money, then he bears at least a temporary responsibility to keep it up (if it is soley his flat, which he doesn't say). Before all the idiots pounce on this, he chose to date her and live with her. He also gave her a very short deadline to leave. All I'm suggesting is that he give her at least two weeks or a months grace to get back on her feet. Either that or not be such a silly douche and live with people he doesn't care about enough to help.

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  Cinn_fml  |  5

I've missed your sensible comments, letmeinplease. Letmeinplease is right, they made the decision to move in. And either the OP moved in with her knowing she had no job, or she's recently been made redundant/fired and so needs time to find another. So the OP does have some responsibility in how this ends. Also, they could both treat this like responsible and mature adults for the duration. Though I suppose it depends on why they broke up, but I'm guessing it's not a seriously horrible thing, otherwise that would be the FML not the fact that he still has to live with her...

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  turkey1_2_3  |  5

No, if she planned on breaking up with him she should have made plans to find an apartment and a job ahead of time. She's decided that she doesn't want to go out with him anymore, that's fine, but she can't have it both ways. It's no longer the OP's responsibility to support her. She should have considered this before breaking up with him.

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  smokergirl420  |  5

It never said she broke up with him. Plus even though they're not together anymore he is still responsible for her. He let her move in and he chose to support her so he can't just throw her out. Especially since she has nowhere else to go.

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  Intoxicunt  |  5

This reminds me of my parents. My mom was married to my dad for 23 years. They had two kids. But their marriage steadily declined. Anyway, she was furious. Hated him, in fact. But she knew she was going to leave. So she made him get a job. Not sure how, but she was so insistent, he did it. THEN she left. Granted, he kept the house, but he had to pay for it, so he would've been homeless had she not waited for him to get a job. My point is that when you tell someone (or imply) that you'll take care of them and support them, even if they are a rotten ass, you don't just kick them out with nothing. This is why alimony exists (even though it's abused 90% of the time by greedy, vengeful people.) Edit: And he could tell her that she owes him rent for the time she stays once she gets a job. They could even have that in writing.

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  alexFYL  |  5

Also in situations like these she's probably either on the lease, or if she has an ID and/or mail (bills etc) sent there there, she's technically a tenant and you cannot just kick a tenant out without 2-4 weeks of written notice otherwise she can sue you for improper/unlawful eviction.

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technically he has no responsibility to take care for her anymore. she could have a job, but she doesnt. the fml implies it's his apartment. not hers! therefore since there not married, it doesn't matter what he told her or didn't tell her, whatever he pays for is his under canadian law unless there together for more than 10 years. I mention Canadian law because I'm from Canada but anyways, she's a dumb bitch for not preparing ahead and he's dumb for letting her play him unless he still thinks there's a chance they could get back together.

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  turkey1_2_3  |  5

okay, sorry, i guess i misunderstood it as her breaking up with him. so technically he doesn't have to support her anymore, but it would be kind to let her stay a little while while she finds a job/place to live, as you all said

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  Cinn_fml  |  5

@turkey1_2_3 (#52) - That is the difference between moral and legal repsonsibility. Legally, if the gf was not on the lease then the OP has no repsonibility and can tell her to get out. However morally he should look at what could be expected of her to do and give her a chance to get back on her feet before she moves out. Just thought I'd point that out.

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  letmeinplease  |  5

^^I was going to say that. It's the difference between being a douche and not being a douche were my terms though :D Depending of course on the reasons for breakup... If it's any consolation OP, you sound like a good guy- especially as you're giving up your imediate new free bachelor stage to let her stay in (presumably) your apartment.

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  ricosan  |  5

Alot of states have conditions regarding shared domiciles. In Maryland, for instance, if a person is living in your home, whether they pay rent or not, they are allowed 30 days to find an alternative dwelling. All they need to prove this is that they have their mail delivered to the shared adress. Oh, and having to go through this myself, you legally cannot destroy their mail so you have to hold it and they are allowed to come and pick it up.

By  lets_be_ian  |  12

Been There... this is a rough situation. However it usually turns out in two ways so be prepared 1) you get back together after a while (it was a silly breakup anyway.. .a fight over soap or something) 2) You grow to detest one another... really not a good thing if you have to continue the situation for any length of time. good luck with this!

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