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The illustrated FMLs

Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML

By ballnchain - / Tuesday 30 March 2010 16:04 / United States
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By  aqua10  |  0

of course this is only from your point of view. for all we know, you could have cheated on her in the past with one of those friends during a lunch date and you're just calling her "insanely jealous" to get people on your side.

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  maryammonib  |  0

agreed. leave her

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  sam411411  |  0

YDI if she said this anywhere but her territory. (AKA the kitchen)

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  mistershlong  |  0

you need to take control. tell her you'll do whatever you want and then make her get back in the kitchen and make you a sandwich

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  KurouTenshi  |  0

fail, 25 it's sammich. you should really press to get that right.

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sam411 said it. she better be in the damn kitchen

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  look_its_me  |  0

well they shouldn't be going out to lunch at all. they should be making you lunch, in the kitchen.

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  PsychoMerk  |  0

I'm a pretty jealous person too :T I don't like that stuff, but I wouldn't call it cheating 0_O then again, I have my man on a tight leash; he spends time with ME. -_- heehee :3 luckily for him, I play video games, eat like a piggy, and play heavy contact sports. :)

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  imbatman_fml  |  0

Your response " unless you be making me sammiches to eat, I find them elsewhere."

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  swagga0n1oo  |  0

Hey OP, your name doesn't happen to be Stu is it? Just this guy I know Stu, his wife cheated on him with a bartender on a cruise ship...but he didn't Cum inside her so don't worry...but hey...if you wanna continue to be pussy whipped...go ahead. Your friend, Phil!

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people, please! I'm a girl and I used to think the sammich jokes were hilarious. but seriously, they are WAY over-used. get creative, think outside the box (or kitchen). say.... make him a bean burrito with a side of guacamole.... or something....

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  sublimaze  |  6

most spouses don't get "insanely jealous" and "flip out" for no reason. the wife is seemingly overbearing and controlling most likely because of prior infidelity. if OP has truly never cheated on her nor given her reason her think so, he should consider that SHE has cheated on him, feels guilty and wants to keep him on a tight leash

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  aeliz  |  0

I have a feeling that there is more to this FML than meets the eye. No one would be that unreasonable, unless the OP isn't telling the whole truth, and he was actually being inappropriate... Or maybe he's cheated in the past. It doesn't add up for me. @74... Same here ! Except I don't care about my man's female friends unless they are extremely flirty. Then I show them who's man he is.

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  ManUpFucker  |  0

I think your treatment of your husband is kinda backwards .You married him, why not trust him. Spending time with other females is not a problem if he is trusting. But if you can't trust, you can't be trusted.

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  LeverPuller  |  5

Wow 74. Your views are kind of warped. "I play video games, eat a lot, and play shit like football. So he doesn't need any friends!" I'm not sure if you should break up with your boyfriend because you don't trust him, or if HE should break up with YOU because you are crazy. Hm.

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  relyo  |  0

I have bad news for you. When anyone is that paranoid about you cheating, that means she's already cheating. Close ALL your joint accounts and credit cards you have with her. Then head to the nearest divorce lawyer. Your marriage is over.

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  humorizer  |  14

No, it doesn't suck. Why would you be showing fondness towards other women or eating alone with them if you're married? You already have a female friend for intimacy (including eating alone and touching), so stay away from the others. Just like you would be paranoid if she went alone to eat with some guy, it should apply to you too. People these days then wonder why cheating is so commonplace.

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  urface132  |  0

slap her and tell her to make you a sammich

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  Giorgio272  |  2

yikes dump the clingy bitch for sure. Tell her that when she hangs around with her friends you think she is a lesbian and cheating. Back to the kitchen bitch and make me a sammich!!

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  DarkJoy_fml  |  5

I think I am going to agree with this comment. I was thinking perhaps his "female friends" are maybe his ex-girlfriends and I think I would be irritated to. That is the first option. The second option is she is a psycho bitch that you need to get rid of. The third is she is cheating on you and thus accusing you of cheating. Lastly, she could just have a bad past and is used to be cheated on by her exes and thus she thinks you are going to be the same. (I went through that terrible phase after I was cheated on--not saying it is good just saying it makes sense to me). If it is anything than the first option though OP FYL. It seems to me that you guys do not have a good relationship if it's not built on trust and obviously she is psycho or there's no trust. Dump her and find someone that is secure and trusts you or stop lying on FML and blaming your wife for your marriage issues.

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  cyked  |  0

it really worries me how many people think breaking up is the solution to every problem. show a bit of respect to ur wife nd acknowledge the fact that she probably has some deep insecurities to feel the need to say that. fyl for saying this was an fml.

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  rohosoccer08  |  0

I am a somewhat jealous person but I usually don't let it show because I know how dumb it is. but my husband isn't a jealous person at all... I am friends with all my exes and he's friends with them too, even the guy I broke up with him to date before we got back together. I can hang out with them whenever I want, even alone, it doesn't bother him cuz he trusts me. the people saying that it's inappropriate to hug members of the opposite sex are dumb, hugs are ok!

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  LeverPuller  |  5

#339- Shit, as in a synonym for 'stuff'. I didn't say 'a shitty sport like football'. lrn2reed? Football's only standable when there's a room full of drunk people watching it, anyways. ;9

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  Ajojetzt  |  0

I wonder why people these days think it's totally normal to think that it's a 100% sure that your own husband will cheat on you, every time he can get near a woman, i mean wtf? Shouldn't she trust him, that he wont do anything and therefor not care with whom he's having lunch? If I have to control my bf like that, then a) there's something wrong with me and b) with my relationship.

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  hedgehog5  |  0

wtf, 242: There's no rule saying you can't have meaningful opposite-sex friendships when married, and there's no psychologically healthy person who can't handle having their significant other enjoy the company of others without being present to referee each social gesture. I've been with someone for over a year and having opposite-sex friends has never been a commitment issue because neither of us are overbearing, judgmental morons. Get a grip. There's three ways I see the situation as far as the deserving goes: 1. In the case of poor communication, it is the OP's fault for not telling his wife he was hanging out/hugging other women. YDI 2. In the case of pure jealousy/suspicion for no obvious reason, it is the OP's fault for marrying someone who obviously has very poor social skills and has no understanding of normal, healthy relationships. YDI 3. In the case of pure jealousy/suspicion with the OP's history of infidelity triggering the jealousy/suspicion, it is the OP's fault for tarnishing his reputation by being unfaithful to begin with. YDI Y. D. I. QED.

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  mike1921  |  0

#242 Yes, ofcourse, because people aren't supposed to have more than one friend. Who the fuck said he would be paranoid if she was eating with some guy?

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  Rashkavar  |  0

Hugging isn't necessarily inappropriate. Cuddling is romantic, simply hugging is just body language that means anything from hello/goodbye to "I understand."

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  kybabyy  |  4

Tell her you heard she was bisexual in college, and that she is no longer allowed to hug or go anywhere with her male OR female friends. She'll get so sick of you, she'll beg you to go to lunch with your other friends ;) On a serious note, it seems like you two have some intense communication issues. Get off FML and work them out with your wife.

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  Idc666  |  0

I don't think eating like a piggy is a turn on, but I hate those girls that only ever order a salad or just poke at their food. Lighten up! Just eat normal.

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Please tell me you're kidding????? You freak out over your guy hugging girls??? Am I the only girlfriend in the world who's NOT insecure???? I feel really bad for your boyfriend seriously.

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  justlikeme79  |  9

Why are people thumbing this up? "You have a wife, you don't need friends." Sorry, not a chance in hell. If you're okay with letting your wife control you like that then enjoy your marriage. My fiancée and I would never do this to each other. Trust is a nice thing. Hell I almost thought you were being sarcastic.

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  FarscapeSDC  |  9

So being married means you're not allowed to have any friends of the opposite gender? What if OP is bisexual? does that mean that he shouldn't be allowed to have any friends at all? Saying "You already have a wife so you can't have dinner with any (Female) friend of yours" is insane. Any woman who believes that is completely paranoid. How is it cheating to maintain a friendship with someone? (Also, I'm willing to bet that OP's wife still hugs her male friends, and has dinner with them)

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  CaroAurelia  |  12

WHAT?! No! Would you want to be told you can't be even remotely friendly with somebody of the gender(s) you're attracted to? I hope to GOD I never find myself in a relationship with you or anyone who thinks like you!

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  Monikabug  |  9

She is insane. I wouldn't even make a boyfriend promise that, but a husband? Really? You don't marry someone you don't trust, and your wife obviously does not trust you... OP, your wife is completely off her rocker. FYL!

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  letmeinplease  |  0

I'm wondering how much this is down to the OP. True, jealous behaviour is insane and annoying, but on that it's normally down to long-seated fears that the OP must've known about if he's a half-decent husband. He just dismisses her as 'insanely jealous', which is a really cruel way to dismiss someone who obviusly cares about him if you think about it. I used to be quite freaked out about my boyfriends friendship with the last girl he pulled before me, especially as she definitely stil was interested in him. It was a blend of insecurity (because it took us a long time to become 'official'), definite reasons (she's one of those bloody annoying 'touchy feely' people, and flirted with him openly) and genuine mad jealousy. But my boyfriend didn't treat me like I was some kind of mad whore for feeling that way, cause he knew it was because I loved him, and I got over it. I think there's more behind this FML. The OP definitely oughtn't to be married to this girl if he disregards her feelings so much and regards her so callously as inconvenient.

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  katmandont  |  0

Sometimes the jealousy has nothing to do with the other partner, but with previous relationships and expectation that "every cheats, so you can't trust them". I agree that this is something that OP should have seen a mile off, but sometimes men can be clueless, especially when they're being lead by their dicks. This relationship is just a bad trainwreck waiting to happen. If the OP legitimately has female friends that he hangs out with in a non-cheating manner, then he shouldn't give that up. But he should decide whether its worth loosing his wife over it. Don't want to spend the entire marriage sleeping with one eye open and a gun under the pillow.

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  jellybean120  |  10

my boyfriend is crazy jealous! I moved to another state to be with him and he wont let me go visit my family during the weekend because I might go to a club with my friends and dance with other guys. I'm starting to regret moving in with him.

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  imbatman_fml  |  0

you should always escape controlling relationships with jealous people. they're insecure, you will never be able to fix it and it will only get worse even violent.

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  abyssal_angel  |  6

seriously? He married her. Suck it up and deal with it. He knew what he was in for. And if he didn't know, then he's a moron who got married too soon and he deserves what he gets.

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  kybabyy  |  4

Anytime i see someone use the words "won't let me" it screams abusive relationship to me. If he's trying to alienate you from your friends and family, please please please, get out. =/

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  drayloon  |  49

I dated a girl in high school who pulled the same shit with me. When I told her to do the same thing if I had to do it, she started a big argument that ended with us breaking up. Good riddance, crazy bitch...

By  hedgerow  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  BlueMedusa  |  21

Tell me, would YOU want a wife/husband who wouldn't let you hug or interact with any of your opposite gender friends, but most likely refuses to abide by that 'rule'?

By  aqua10  |  0

of course this is only from your point of view. for all we know, you could have cheated on her in the past with one of those friends during a lunch date and you're just calling her "insanely jealous" to get people on your side.

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  mike1921  |  0

....I read that as "I don't need my fiance eating out other women" the first time. Also, while it is true that he doesn't really NEED to do it, is there really anything wrong with eating with friends? And even if there is, his wife considers that to be full on cheating, don't you think that's a little extreme?

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of course, I would never equate going out to eat with cheating. My fiancé and I spend alot of time together and eat almost every meal together, so there really wouldn't even be an opportunity for him to have lunch with another woman. I also don't have a problem with the hugging, but I do think it's one thing to accept an offer for a hug or lunch and quite another to be initiating those things and seeking them out

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  usnwife  |  18

my husband has sever friends that are girls, I don't mind if he hangs out with them at all. I know he loves me and if he ever does cheat he's gone. he knows it too, and doesn't want to lose me. he let's me hang out with guy friends, too. you can't truly love someone if there is no trust at all...

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