Intimacy: Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!"...

By -____- - 05/10/2013 21:28 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 332

You deserved it 7 416

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 996

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 065

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 934

You deserved it 7 083

Who taught him

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 366

Hey there!

By LadyLola - 25/11/2013 05:22 - United States - Dayton

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 843

You deserved it 6 641

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 101

You deserved it 6 491

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 757

You deserved it 5 145

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 887

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 379

You deserved it 11 781

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 039

You deserved it 16 158

thatonetree 9

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:26

That is a pretty impressive skill. You gotta give it to him

ABillOnFire 15

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:27

it's reasons like this we were placed on this planet

Comments

narkill 13

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:30

Well damn. Atleast give him Some credit! That's unheard of!

botanistjessica 24

Sunday 6 October 2013 7:20

Oops. Ignore.

BntyHntrSeattle 30

Sunday 6 October 2013 18:40

Unhead of* ;)

dogpfcorn 11

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:31

Americas got talent would love that act

un0m3 14

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:31

Ouch

Welshite 39

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:31

That takes skill. You should be proud.

Squygm 7

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:33

Be glad nothing happened to your newborn and enjoy your Husband's sense of humor. Some people have none.

junkman6 22

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:34

The hours of rigorous training he must have gone through to perfect that skill is truly inspiring. He is a real American Hero.

crzyknt 9

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:36

Someone should give him an award.!

xxlizsandraxx 7

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:25

someone should give you an award you sexy beast you ;)

happyfingers 15

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:39

Hahahaha That's pretty impressive actually. XD I definitely would have started cracking up and congratulated him on that awesome achievement.

sporty_14 5

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:39

lol, love that.

TyT63 12

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:39

*will smith I ain't even mad meme*

Keywords

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Today, I went through my boyfriend's old phone to get over a gut feeling I've been having that things aren't as good as they seem. Turns out he's been taking videos of himself masturbating and sending the videos to chicks on WhatsApp, and contacting an old neighbor trying to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 228

Today, my husband wants a divorce and will be moving out as soon as possible because he can’t stand my mother anymore. He's tired of pushing me to stand up to her, even once, so he's done and is leaving. I’m upset he’s leaving, but I’m equally as upset he’s leaving me alone with my mother. FML

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You deserved it 1 456

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I agree, your life sucks 5 262

You deserved it 304

Poor little guy... Eating healthy is hard!

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 93

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 3 573

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 980

You deserved it 4 980

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I agree, your life sucks 14 469

You deserved it 37 238

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 304

You deserved it 2 451

Same thing different taste

Who taught him

Hey there!

My little buddy

Peek a boo

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