Kids: Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 04:13 - United States - Woburn

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 002

You deserved it 5 189

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Same thing different taste

By razzmataz - 28/01/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 978

You deserved it 3 148

By Colby - 15/11/2013 16:59 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 3 762

By mandybar15 - 14/12/2012 23:52 - United States - Norman

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 232

You deserved it 6 678

By mylifeblows - 19/08/2010 06:15 - United States

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 027

You deserved it 8 489

Shame! Shame!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 590

Learning

By dummy - 11/07/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 622

You deserved it 58 114

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 343

You deserved it 1 878

By oliveoyl - 23/07/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 669

You deserved it 5 266

Game of Thrones 2: Pig in the City

By GOT not for me - 15/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 179

By imarriedanaxemurderer - 18/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Joliet

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 4 626

d4m4s74 12

Tuesday 3 September 2013 11:36

Hey, it's a nice story to tell his friends when he's older.

Typicall 21

Tuesday 3 September 2013 11:40

Well isn't that cute ...

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 September 2013 12:38

It's funny how kids gravitate toward the dirty words. Among my daughter's first words was "asshole" which she learned while driving around with me.

mFUNdo21 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 12:46

my twin sister and I's first words were "motherfucking bitch" so really the heil Hitler thing isn't so bad

upallnight11 19

Tuesday 3 September 2013 12:48

What's up with all these FMLs about Breaking Bad lately?

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 3 September 2013 13:16

Because of "FML" is the reason I started watching the show on Netflix. Wanted to know what the hype was all about. I'm on season 2 and just meet the "Better call Saul" lawyer. :P

Caitie_kid 8

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:15

Just wait... It gets way crazier and way better. I love that show!

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:16

Saul dies in season 3.

jamjam12 15

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:28

aah Saul is the best! "Laser tag - it's good cardio. Plus you get to shoot at kids!"

Caitie_kid 8

Tuesday 3 September 2013 15:13

32 is an asshole. **** off 32.

nitrog100 21

Wednesday 4 September 2013 17:31

...Foreshadowing...

jmad109 3

Tuesday 3 September 2013 13:27

Hey this wouldn't have happened if he had used hulu plus instead

kryptonite2070 13

Tuesday 3 September 2013 13:33

yea bitch!

kryptonite2070 13

Tuesday 3 September 2013 13:41

say my name...

leeburns 5

Tuesday 3 September 2013 13:53

This just made my morning! There should be a video of that!!!!!

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:10

Now I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't watch this show. Then again, the only TV show I really watch is "Mythbusters". I tried to get my 2 year old to say "I reject your reality and substitute my own!" but he hasn't quite gotten it yet.

SlapAndTickle 20

Tuesday 3 September 2013 14:17

If it makes you feel any better Doc, I haven't seen the show either. I'm more into Longmire right now.

TheDrifter 23

Tuesday 3 September 2013 15:29

Mythbusters is awesome. You should check out Deadliest Warrior too Doc. Comparative testing and quasi scientific examinations of obsolete weapon systems.