Intimacy: Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets...

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 052

You deserved it 7 906

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Same thing different taste

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 122

You deserved it 6 794

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 060

You deserved it 6 197

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 036

You deserved it 10 594

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 5 611

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 764

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 19:54 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 976

You deserved it 3 532

By Dejected - 07/12/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 178

You deserved it 4 722

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 4 942

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 341

You deserved it 13 291

Concentration face

By Nuttree - 01/08/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having sex. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 6 880

mrbiffle 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 22:38

hahaha I told my girl the same thing

cusof 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:30

This is your girl

Comments

alexiiiiis09 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:03

next time say you'll chop his gunner.

bennyboy111 7

Wednesday 22 December 2010 13:51

win

Iowa123 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:13

'Almost'...?

Doortje 29

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:17

Congratulations, you've managed to find the keyword in this FML.

unidentified_sta 5

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:27

AUDIENCE PLEASE: APPLAUD

quaddrummer93 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:42

Doortje ftw

vballerlover07 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 13:53

I actually did laugh out loud when I read this...

SupxD 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:15

haha I did the same.!!!

ninja3sp 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:25

haha

avirus 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:26

im sorry for you :(

thepyro395 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:30

that sucks

Kahuna382000 2

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:31

It is pretty awesome.

averagepurson 2

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:36

dang that must be some good sex

Flamehog9 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:36

Send.

50epidemic 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 23:38

that is a compliment... take it and go... it is ****** EXCITING to get a chopper gunner!!

Zeusthegoose 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 0:05

yes thank you someone that understands

Keywords

Love Music Cute TMI Gross Work Coworkers Racism Scary Kids Customers Technology Gamers Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Awkward Sex Cheating Animals Health Insects Insurance Money Plumbing Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 519

You deserved it 641

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 117

The Top

Today, after spending months building my boss 3 websites and finishing them, I was fired via a short email, saying she didn't need my help anymore. I only worked for her for 3 months, so basically I stopped being useful when I finished her websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 93

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 482

You deserved it 3 665

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 605

You deserved it 4 977

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 18 507

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 78 911

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 370

You deserved it 1 261