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By PhoenixChick - 13/10/2017 20:00

Today, my husband of ten years called me a greedy, money-hungry gold digger for asking why I wasn't listed on his life insurance policy. We were at our financial advisor's office. He had just asked them what he could do to make sure I'm taken care of in case of the worst. He now refuses to discuss it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 541
You deserved it 280

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“What can I do to make sure my wife is taken care of in case of the worst?” “You could start by listing her on your life insurance policy.” “Wait, why wasn’t I listed on your life insurance policy?!” “What could POSSIBLY make you ask such a question out of the blue?! You greedy, money-hungry, gold digger!”

So if you're nit the beneficiary of his life insurance, who is??

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Given the context, her question is perfectly reasonable. They were at the financial advisor's office discussing contingencies; why shouldn't she ask why she isn't on her spouse's life insurance policy?

"That being said, context should tell him that you didn't mean it in the way he probably percieve it." I mean, I literally said just that in my comment.

arioch_fml 20

Read the FML again. She didn't ask about life insurance. The husband asked HIMSELF what he could do to make sure she was taken care of if something bad happened to him.

I totally disagree. A married couple should prepare for the death of either partner, to protect the one remaining. Asking about life insurance or whether they have a current will, etc, is sensible and normal. Even if she’d asked completely out of the blue, he had no reason to be angry.

"my husband of ten years called me a greedy, money-hungry gold digger for asking why I wasn't listed on his life insurance policy. " The husband asked their financial advisor, what he could do, then OP asked why she wasn't listed on his life insurance. I didn't make my comment to tell OP that she is a terrible person, but rather to explain how I believe her husband took her comment and why he got angry.

that stinks. life insurance is important. nobody wants to get stuck with their loved ones final expenses after going through their traumatizing death, too. maybe discuss it outside of the public eye.

What expenses? The state takes care of it. No one has to pay. You only pay if you want to have a fancy funeral.

that's not true. the state doesn't just automatically pay for people's final bills. what if they were in credit card debt for $50k? you think the state is just going to pay for that? no, that's not how it works. you have to be below a certain income for the state to pay anything. my boyfriends father died and his great grandmother paid all final expenses. life insurance ensures you and your loved ones are taken Care of in the event of your death.

We hd to pay hundreds of dollara for the absolute cheapest possible disposal of my eatranged brother-in-law's body. We kept pushing them to just chuck his body in the woods, but law wouldn't allow it. RIP brother in law, who managed to suck several hundred more out of us even in death.

That is really not true where most people live.

Because his girlfriend didn’t want to share her money with you.

Actually it made me wonder if he had an ex-wife he was reluctant to take off the life insurance, because maybe they have kids together, etc. Or perhaps a sibling he thinks needs the financial protection. His reaction sounds defensive, like he knows it’s reasonable for his wife to be the beneficiary, but he’s emotional about changing it.

Ironically, if that were the case I'd be wlling to speed up her chance of collection, if ya catch my drift

Wouldn’t make me feel that way unless she was more financially secure than us. Life is complicated. She may have given up work to raise their kids or might have worked so he could go through college. Or she might have full time custody of their minor children.

In a lot of divorces where the couple have children together, they are made to get life insurance naming the ex as beneficiary. It seems to usually happen with the primary breadwinner.

So if you're nit the beneficiary of his life insurance, who is??

“What can I do to make sure my wife is taken care of in case of the worst?” “You could start by listing her on your life insurance policy.” “Wait, why wasn’t I listed on your life insurance policy?!” “What could POSSIBLY make you ask such a question out of the blue?! You greedy, money-hungry, gold digger!”

Today, I went from a financial advisor to a marriage counselor in the blink of an eye. Seriously though OP, you two might need to seek a mediator or a counselor to understand why he's reacting this way to legitimate questions. Most couples, married or otherwise, list each other as beneficiaries, or at least explain why the may not do it in case they have other responsibilities outside of marriage. His reaction was out of the ordinary.

OP here! So, I finally got an answer as to who WAS listed and why. His stepmom is the one listed on his life insurance. My husband has always been told that it is his duty to make sure his stepmother is taken care of. His dad's life revolves around his stepmom, and it is only "natural" to them that my husband's life does too. His whole life they've been telling him that nobody matters but stepmom (she's very ill and that gets used a lot.) Slowly I've been working to get him to see that her needs don't come before everyone else, every time, but it's a long journey. And sometimes things take me by surprise.

arioch_fml 20

How long has she been a part of his life? And why does she need two people's life insurance? It seems so strange to me.

She came into the picture when he was about twelve or so. And as for why she needs two life insurance policies? Because she is the center of the universe, apparantly. Yes, it's weird, it's not right, but family emotional dynamics are weird.

Your not on the life insurance policy because your a greedy money hungry gold digger. FYI your answer was in your post