Intimacy: Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard...

By me - 04/02/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 6 005

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
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Same thing different taste

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 489

You deserved it 5 100

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 016

You deserved it 15 913

By sorry dawg - 29/08/2019 20:00

Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 324

By Pimp Daddy - 30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 560

You deserved it 536

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 165

You deserved it 9 673

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 4 727

By Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 060

You deserved it 8 539

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 585

You deserved it 4 982

By jcooh0lla - 24/07/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 766

You deserved it 7 457

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 091

You deserved it 1 898

slick5880 22

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:17

Can't you do both?

Brelywi 15

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:17

So bake the man some cookies, woman!

Comments

fizzypop14 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:19

Well sex is over after 30-60 mins. cookies can be eaten for days to come

fiblydinkerton 0

Monday 6 February 2012 4:32

If your lucky...

rae_munchkin 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:20

Tell him you'll give him cookies after sex, but only if he performs well.

jbella92 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:21

Sex shouldn't be a treat. It's you. Not him

USMC_Cpl 5

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:21

Cookies are ******* delicious.

epitomeofwomen 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:22

Bake him his cookies and next time he wants sex bake him more cookies. If he says anything just say "its the treat you like, remember?" and walk away.

Internut 6

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:22

You meant cookies right? I'm stumped

epitomeofwomen 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:25

Well it really depends on how many cookies you give your husband.

Scrts 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:28

Yeah... very clear. If the woman is >50 years old (exact the required age for cookie production), with dropped boobs and looking like a pile of... Understand the man, ffs!