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By atsukobo - / Thursday 23 February 2012 07:59 / United States
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it was their first one. it was worth a shot. that's respectable. it's sad when people give up without even trying

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it was their first one. it was worth a shot. that's respectable. it's sad when people give up without even trying

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Why be a hater yummy rich kid? Pentium's answer was really good, there's nothing wrong with people admiring people with good opinions. If you judge that it may be rich but it's not yummy.

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You're right, if the husbands gonna act like a douche bag then why bother. It won't work, she can probably do better anyway.

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Yeah it sounds like Counseling isn't gonna help,maybe try something else? Something your husband will go along with. I hope everything works out in the end^.^

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Isn't marriage a balancing act? It isn't about her "bending over" for her husband needs,maybe counseling isn't his thing.What can work for her doesn't work for him....and I'm truly surprised at how your commenting on this one your usually so cheerful

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All I know is that in order to have a functioning relationship, both sides have to compromise and do everything as a team. 50/50 (:

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But they can only do that if they're BOTH willing to try. If he's not willing to get help through counseling, what other options are there? It's obvious that he either doesn't think there's an issue, or he doesn't care enough to fix it. I understand trying to make a marriage work, but that only happens when they BOTH try. Not just one of them trying and the other one rolling their eyes and blatantly being rude to the person trying to help them.

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36 there are other ways to fix problems; counseling isn't the only option. I personally would not be able to go through with counseling for anything, I don't like sharing my personal thoughts with strangers, and I don't like the idea of paying someone to talk to them. It's a personal preference. The wife could go to counseling on her own if that's her thing. Together they could sit down and have discussions without the third party. They could make a list of their problems and select compromises

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And to go along with 32 and 35, no matter what person does the most in the relationship, they hold the least amount of power. And besides, a 50-50 relationship never exists. It's a nice romantic idea, but an idea nonetheless.

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Oh please that shit doesn't work, I went through counseling too. I don't like sharing my problems with other people...who cares I'm crazy. :DDDD

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Counseling absolutely savesd my marriage. I'd you go in with a bad attitude towards it nothing will get fixed but f you're willing to try it can work wonders.

Well first of all he is a guy we are naturally reluctant to accept advice from anyone second just by him going shows he loves you and doesn't want to lose you give it time he will warm up just might take longer than you

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That's what I was thinking! Everyone's being harsh on the husband but maybe counseling isn't his thing.At least he cared enough to go

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In some states you can't get a divorce unless you have participated in counseling. Him going doesn't prove anything about his love for her. If he were at least genuinely participating even if he complained later, then I would buy that. You'd be surprised how many people in this country are too lazy or broke to get a divorce. He may have the wrong idea that just going will make his wife satisfied that he's doing "what she wants", possibly buying him a few more years.

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No to both of you. I wish there were a word stronger than "no" so I could convey just how stupid your suggestions are. Fuck no? Hell no? NOOOOOOO? Therapy may not be his thing? Just going shows that he cares?? No. No it does not. All he's doing is putting up a show while proving he doesn't give a fuck. This is a marriage, people. Those people that you supposedly committed your life to are supposed to be worth fighting for. This guy isn't fighting worth a damn.

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Actually, I said him going doesn't prove anything as well. Please read posts before telling someone "how fucking stupid" they are.

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Josie - I could not have read your post, as it did not exist while I was writing mine. My apologies. My comment was not directed at you.

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If you don't click with a therapist or you're reluctant about it at first, it won't work. It was their FIRST session. He probably just needs time to get into it or find a therapist he likes better. When my husband and I went to our first session he was very skeptical and didn't say a whole lot. It took several sessions for him to open up and really participate. Now when we go he talks more than I do and he's made some huge changes in his behavior. It just took awhile for him to be ok with it. He

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Doc - didn't account for post lag. My apologies as well. Thought that "both" was at the 2 responses.

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I'm glad you speak for everyone there's 7 billion people on the planet so it is possible it's hard for this guy, just because their married doesn't mean counseling will be easier in fact it's probably harder call me what you want but I think your narrow minded

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I disagree with you doc for one you know nothing about these people or if he has tried before or what's going on. He's there so you can't just say he's not trying because you feel like it. You completely disregard that the wife is sitting there watching every move he makes judging everything he does instead of focused on the counseling like she should be. Maybe he doesn't believe they have a problem maybe she's overly critical of him. She's obviously more concerned about every little twitch

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"he's there" and? So what? he's there and not making an effort, so he may as well not be there at all. If I had to do a project with a partner, showed up at their house but didn't do anything to help, do you think "well, I'm here.." would go over well? Of course not. Think of this counseling appointment as their project. so what if he showed up? He's not doing anything to try and contribute, so she would have every right to be frustrated with him. She was looking at him to se

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Maronofhearts - I'm not saying he's not trying because "I feel like it". I'm saying that because HE'S NOT FUCKING TRYING. Try reading the story again before you try calling me out. I don't know what you think you know about a marriage and what it takes to keep it doing, but it appears to me that you haven't a clue.

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Likely all that's going through the husband's mind is "200 an hour, do your shit and get me outta here. She talks all day and now I have to pay 200 an hour to listen to her talk to someone else? This is bullshit." Try individual sessions, and a male counsellor. It's easier to get people to open up in private, to someone they can relate to.

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"It's not in his genes?" Are you stupid? Or just ignorant? Genetics doesn't determine if someone is too big a douche to even try. That's called laziness.

Obviously he doesn't care or he wouldn't be such an ass about the situation. I'm sorry OP but you might have to get a new man. A better man.

I think it might be time to ditch the husband since that's what he seems to be aiming at. Not necessarily another husband. They're not objects whereby you trade the defective ones in for replacements! (:

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