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By HelloDrMeAgain - / Saturday 24 December 2016 14:45 /
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I'm questioning whether you know how to use question marks, because yes, even if she wasn't the one passing the kidney stone, I can understand how that could be traumatizing, seeing a grown man "vomiting & cold sweating while passing acidic/blood"

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Well, I made a mistake there, I forgot to proofread my answer, there's no denying it. Still, doesn't make my point any less valid, I'm not saying passing kidney stone is a picnic, I'm just saying I can understand how the niece could be traumatized by it.

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If something like that traumatizes you how are you going to function in society those are the kind of people who have panic attacks when a guy tries to pick them up at a bar. :/ I don't agree with you at all

That sounds pretty horrific to experience or even just see. Obviously, I think you had the worse experience, but I wouldn't blame the niece for being shook by it. Although, whoever you're quoting that used the word "traumatized" is being over dramatic.

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I think being any more affected by it than "Oh that's not very nice" at 15 years old is a horrendous overreaction. She didn't have to physically watch him vomit or pee blood, it's not like she was forced to stand next to the toilet/bed and bear immediate witness to the whole debacle, so it's really just a case of being aware that somebody is unwell. She needs to grow up.

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Have you ever cared for a seriously ill or injured family memeber? Because I have. The upsetting part is not changing the bandages, seeing the blood, changing out their "sick bucket" (for sudden vomiting attacks), or cleaning up after them. The upsetting part is hearing them in constant pain and not being able to do anything about it because a doctor told you they need to just ride it out. Constantly wondering if it's really normal for it to be this bad or if you should take them back to the hospital. If you care about them at all, it's more than just "not very nice", it's nerve wracking. Obviously, saying it's "traumatic" is going too far. But it's not unusual to lose sleep worrying about a loved one who's going through something awful.

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Yes I have, not that it's at all relevant to this FML but I cared for my gran through the final stages of bowel cancer until her death. My dad also used to suffer from kidney stones when I was a child so i've experienced this particular situation about 5 times from being roughly 7 or 8 years old, you don't need to tell me what it's like or how it feels. There are a few reasons that this situation is completely different. For starters whatever you're describing clearly isn't kidney stones so i'm not sure why you've even brought it up. Kidney stones are notoriously painful but almost always harmless beyond the physical pain of passing them, and even then the pain is always finite. It rarely lasts longer than a few hours, as OP said it was only 3 hours which is nothing at all to lose sleep over. If on the off chance that nobody explained to the girl exactly what kidney stones are then at the very least a quick google search would be enough to assuage any worries. At 15 years old she is more than capable of that much, she isn't a child, if its affecting her as deeply as she's apparently claiming she should have been mature enough to find out what was going on for herself. Finally, from the tone of the FML 'The niece' and OP are not loved ones anyway, they don't seem to be more than acquaintances, so that level of worry or panic just wouldn't be there. My original point still stands, all that OP's girlfriends niece experienced is knowing that he was unwell and in pain, and any reaction beyond feeling sorry for him is completely excessive.

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If you don't see the relevance in talking about how a graphic and painful injury/illness effects both the ill person and their family members, on an fml about a graphic and painfully ill person and how their family reacted- I'm not sure how else to explain it to you. It would just be me stating the obvious for another 3 paragraphs. But the point here is that there is a middle ground in how people react in similar situations. Saying that any reaction stronger than "meh" is "horrendous" is being just as over dramatic as calling the situation "traumatic". It's perfectly reasonable for anyone of any age to just be unsettled or worried. Not running around screaming in panic, just unnerved. It's a common byproduct of average human sympathy. I can't say for sure that OP has a solid relationship with his gf's family, but it wouldn't be unusual. My fiancé's nieces and nephews are super attached to me even though I'm not legally their family yet. You don't have to be blood to care about someone. But you also don't have to deeply care about someone to feel bad/worried that they spent hours pissing blood, vomiting uncontrollably, moaning in agony. Again, average human sympathy.

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Obviously he thinks the niece has been sheltered by her parents, and knows the parents don't agree. Also, he doesn't agree with the analysis that she is traumatized but someone has likewise stated she is. Hence the quotation marks.

Poor you! I have also passed a kidney stone and it was pure agony so I can sympathise! My employers at the time still expected me to come to work - no chance! However, I also have an intense fear of vomiting and seeing other people vomit in particular so I can understand how she'd feel traumatised by it, it's a nasty thing to experience or see!

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