Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being...

By whoops - 01/08/2014 20:45 - United States - Vincennes

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 358

You deserved it 25 936

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad "What's up?" He casually replied: "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 004

You deserved it 3 023

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 072

You deserved it 4 330

By reality_stricken - 04/11/2009 14:00 - Guam

Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 430

You deserved it 8 147

By perfectlybrokenx - 24/08/2010 04:21 - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 792

You deserved it 52 179

By SadPuppy - 22/05/2013 07:14 - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 815

You deserved it 3 544

By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 17:00 - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 751

You deserved it 58 940

Little shit

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 16:58

Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 1 672

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 607

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 179

You deserved it 3 812

Soldier boy

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 12:00

Today, after my idiot son joined the army, flew out on deployment, he then flew straight back home again after accidentally shooting himself. His squad leader said it was the most bizarre accident he’d ever seen while still being considered an accident. As I said, my son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 211

MrConcise 34

Saturday 2 August 2014 5:15

He respawned like in a first-person shooter.

amberr_harperr 15

Saturday 2 August 2014 5:10

you deserved it. at least he had some sort of humor whether it was sarcastic or not. maybe he'll forget. but you deserved that one. you even labeled yourself as a "grade a fucktard"

Comments

JRT98 12

Saturday 2 August 2014 5:39

Well, could be worse... And at least he didn't call you worse than a moron... Good thing he made it back though, eh?

awiseman 11

Saturday 2 August 2014 5:40

If I was him it would have been a different experience for you.

JRT98 12

Saturday 2 August 2014 5:41

Why? I mean, it was just a fuckup in their head.

awiseman 11

Saturday 2 August 2014 6:00

Because not everyone comes back.

JRT98 12

Saturday 2 August 2014 6:05

Of course, obviously OP didn't mean it though. You've probably said something equally as stupid at some point too. Oh, and thank you for your service.

awiseman 11

Saturday 2 August 2014 6:10

The most I say is welcome back. We have gold star families visit every year. So we will never speak ill of our fallen. Even if they weren't the nicest person we still show that respect.

xNephilim 18

Saturday 2 August 2014 7:08

OP didn't show any disrespect. He got flustered and said something dumb. People do that. Not a big deal.

rocker_chick23 27

Saturday 2 August 2014 18:37

He wasn't being disrespectful, he had a derp moment which happens to everyone.

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 3 August 2014 2:23

I don't know why it would be a different experience for the OP, but I'm glad it wasn't you. It sounds like you'd further damage Military Veterans reputations on top of being in jail for assault. Sarcasm was the perfect response. I just returned from a deployment in May, I was and am still asked many dumb questions, like "What was it like in Iraq, Vietnam?" and "How many people have you killed?" but even the dumb questions are usually out of curiosity. Lighten up.